The World We Live In
by narutokid16
Summary: The prison has fallen and the former inhabitants scatter to the wind. Carl Grimes is on his own, tired, and exhausted. Where are the others? Who survived? Who died? And who is this weirdo pointing a knife at Carl's throat? Read on to find out. Last chapter is up you guys! I hope you enjoy.
1. The Queen of Gotham City

Chapter One: The Queen of Gotham City

"Oh, oh, oh. Oh, here we go, walkin', talkin' like you know I want your pretty little psycho." I sang skipping down the middle of the road and twirling my bat in my hand. I kept humming the melody, strutting to the beat I had memorized ages ago. The heels of my boots clicking lightly along the pavement softly echoed into the forest around me, it was odd not hearing screaming, gunfire, or groaning from zombies for the eighth day in a row. I paused, thinking to myself. It had been eight days since I left the ruins of that shipping yard my group had been holed up in. Eight days since I got separated from my friends. Eight days since I had had a decent rest since and a meal that wasn't from a can. "Jesus…" I mutter.

I take a long look down at my worn boots and kick a pebble resting near my right foot, trying to fight off the memories of that day, to no avail. Memories came flooding back to me and with it, the same feeling of dread that nestled itself in my heart. It had been eight days since a herd of zombies tore through the Eastern Bonner Springs Shipping Yard on a warm sunny day, devastating the group of people living there. Most of us didn't make it, a small number of us did. I tried to find my friends Camille and Brittany but a pack of zombies separated us so I had to high tail it the other way. I managed to grab my PSG1, Px4, a backpack full of supplies and spare ammo, and my bat before making my way out of the yard.

I had run for what felt like miles before stopping. I found myself in the middle of the woods near a stream before I took a break from running. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone. I heard hissing and moaning from the other side of the stream, about six zombies were lumbering towards me. I dropped my bag and rifle behind a rock and picked up my bat. "Come on, pudding. Let's have some fun." I grunted as my bat collided with the side of the first zombie's head. A cheesy one liner I know but hey, I was living up to my nick name. After five more swings, the last zombie hit the forest floor. I took a deep breath before letting out a puff of air that lifted up my bangs before going back to where I had dropped my supplies and got moving again.

Since that day, I took refuge up in trees, in closets of houses I came across, any place I could hide out of sight and out of harm's way. I avoided people at all costs. I treaded lightly when I came across groups. I tried to minimized the energy I put into fighting zombies, preferring to use it to scavenge and move around quietly. Now…I was alone…traveling down some street in the middle of fucking Kansas, heading towards California.

I took a breath before continuing my trek. I looked up at the sky as I walked, noticing that it was getting a tad dark and I decided that my best bet was to find a place to sleep for the night. I saw a sign up ahead that read 'Welcome to Waterman Gardens'. Looks like a quaint little neighborhood was up ahead. "Maybe I can scavenge from a few of those houses before calling it a night." That was my new plan, clear a few houses before staying the night.

I hurried off down the street, slowing down when I came to the first house. The neighborhood was small, it looked unfinished. Some houses further down the street had ripped plastic sheets hanging from the sides along with exposed insulation; frames were up but nothing else for a few other houses. Unfinished rooves peppered the left and right sides of the roads as well. Yup, definitely and up and coming neighborhood. The houses that were finished looked as if someone had copied and pasted them from a 1920's real-estate magazine. Aside from a different coat of paint, they all looked the same.

"Fuck...shit…fuck!" The realization that this was a _developing_ neighborhood meant no one had probably moved in yet. Which meant little to no supplies. "Well," I sighed. "can't hurt to look around anyway." I looked around at the upper windows of the houses that I could see, noting that setting up shop up there would be advantageous considering my primary gun with a long distance rifle. "Best get on with it." I walked up the steps to the first house, testing the knob first to see if it'd open. It was unlocked thankfully. I put my bat between my back and back pack at an angle so I could still grab it before drew my sidearm from the holster on my left hip. I knocked on the door a bit loudly before stacking up against the right side of the door, waiting for what felt like an eternity and after hearing no signs of life I slowly proceeded inside. The living room was on my left, the kitchen straight down the hall with the bathroom and closet at the midway point of the hallway. The staircase was to my right and, thankfully, they were carpeted. I learned early on that carpet was a good noise canceler. I slowly swept the lower floors, checking the closets and pantry and any other places with shut doors before moving upstairs.

I slowly crept up the stairs, checking the landing before proceeding. The master bedroom was at the end of the hall, bathroom on the left, and two bedrooms on the right. I cleared the two bedrooms, their closets and the bathroom without incident before slowly creeping up on the master bedroom. I slowly opened the door and noticed a body on the bed. I looked around and noted a sliver revolver stuck in a gun belt beside the bed. There was a knife sheath on it as well but no knife, there was a hastily stashed bag under the bed and a brown sheriff's hat on the lamp on the bedside table. 'Well whoever that is must not be dead…at least I sort of hope they aren't. Actually, I think I'd prefer that they were dead, the undead are a tad easier to deal with.' The person on the bed shifted a bit before settling back to sleep. They were clad in worn hiking boots, dark blue jeans, a flannel shirt, and had shaggy brown hair. I couldn't really see their face because of how they slept but by the hand that I could see, I'd guess they were as white as freshly fallen snow.

If I was a meaner person I would have robbed him blind but he looked harmless enough. Kid couldn't be any older than sixteen, he also looked like he'd been through hell and seemed to be here alone so I'd better just leave him be. I was about to shut the door when the sleeping boy stirred awake. Before I ducked away from the door I saw his hand come from underneath his pillow with a knife clasped in it. 'Well there's the knife.' I thought to myself. I wanted to run for it when I heard his feet hit the wooden floor but opted for not making a lot of noise and instead stayed glued to the wall as best I could. I could hear him slowly lumbering towards the door to the room and as he exited I saw he was putting on the sheriff's hat I saw on the lampshade. That small action saved me from being seen. He meandered down the hall to the bathroom and I heard a zipper then liquid hitting liquid. I cringed a bit but decided this was my chance to get away. 'Shame. He was kinda cute.' I thought to myself.

I shifted my weight ever so slightly and I cursed internally when I heard the floor creak under my weight. 'I manage to creep around this entire house, up the stairs, and down a hallway, and NOW you decide to make noise? Fuck me, Jesus Christ!' I heard the house go quiet before the slow clicking of a gun being cocked. 'Shit, how do I wanna play this? I can probably weasel my way out of this. Turn on the charm a bit…yeah that could work. A lot of talk to distract him and fighting if I have to.' I heard one slow, calculated foot step and decided to put my plan into action.

"Don't shoot please. I don't want any trouble."

Silence. "Who are you? What do you want?"

Yup, just a teenager. That's what I thought. "I came in looking for supplies, I knocked kinda loud. Thought that would have drawn anyone out."

He finally stepped out from the bathroom, aiming his gun at me. "Drop your weapons."

"Yes sir, officer." I said with a bit of a flirtatious tone. He looked a tad rattled but still held his steely eyed gaze and tensed position. I slowly set my Px4 on the ground and put my hands back up. "All of them."

I pouted a bit. "Aww, you can't just let me leave? I mean if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead. I mean, ya walked right by me."

"Sh-shut up! Drop your weapons and your bag, then leave."

"Aww, is puddin' mad at me?"

"What?"

"Ya know, you're kinda cute. Especially with that whole angsty teen thing going. Hair still messy from sleep, frosty blue eyes, kinda pale skin…still cute though."

"Quit fucking around! Drop your shit and go. You have til the count of 5 to leave or I'll put one between your eyes."

"Sheesh, alright." I complied with his demands, setting my bat and rifle down first before dropping my bag. "Ahh, that feels better." I smirked while rotating my shoulders. "Been ages since I took that thing off."

"One."

"Alright, alright, I'm going." I slowly made my way towards the stairs, hands still in the air. He kept his gun trained on me the entire time. He looked like he hadn't had a good night's rest in a month, maybe more. His mental state was weakened because instead of backing down the stairs in front of me or something, he stayed fixed in front of the bathroom and when I got close enough, I struck.

I slapped the barrel of the gun away from me with my right hand before grabbing his wrist and twisting it until the gun fell to the floor with my left. I used my right hand to cup the back of his head and spun him until he was on his back. I kicked the gun down the stairs before drawing my knife, straddling his midsection, and pinning his right hand with my left. I aimed my knife directly at his throat before smirking through the hair hanging in my face.

"You lose, kiddo." I licked my lips and chuckled a bit. I looked at his eye that wasn't hidden by his now even messier hair, following his gaze to the knife on the counter of the bathroom sink then back to him. "You honestly think you can make it before I punch a nice little hole in your throat?"

He sighed, defeated, knowing he was as good as dead. "You gonna kill me now?"

I pretended to ponder his question. "Nah, no reason to. You didn't shoot me when you first saw me, meaning one of two things: A. you were out of bullets, or B. you're a decent enough person to not shoot everything that moves. So no, you get to live." I paused looking into his eye again, getting a tad lost in the bright hues that formed his iris. "You're also lucky I'm a sucker for blue eyes."

I dismounted him before sheathing my knife and extending my hand towards him. "Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha."

He looked at my outstretched hand before glaring at me. "Like the comic book villain?"

"Mmhmm."

"But…you're a guy."

"Your point is? Look just let me help you up."

"I can get up myself."

I crossed my arms and looked down at him. "So do it then." My eyes darted down towards his crotch then back up to his eyes. I smirked a tiny bit after seeing why he didn't get up right away.

He blushed and avoided my gaze, instead opting to pick up his hat that fell off while I was man handling him. "Why do they call you Harley? I know that can't be your birth name."

"Well." I drawled out while backpedaling towards my gear. "Because of this little number right here." I happily picked up my bat, resting it on my shoulder. "My little baby here has served me well. Also because before the world went to shit, I was way into her character and acted a tad like her, also I wore red and black 99% of the time so the name stuck. I typically use my trusty bat here to kill zombies and I call people puddin' a lot, so there's that too."

"Did you say zombies?" He asked as he got up.

"Uh-huh. Why, what do you call them?"

"Walkers."

"Eh, not really my thing but it could get used to it."

"How long were you here before I noticed you? Are you alone?"

"Well, I swept the entire house before you got up, I also came across you taking a little cat nap and was about to leave when you woke up. And yes, I am alone. Unless you count my bat. In that case there are two of us."

"You sure talk a lot."

"Well, I've been on my own for over a week so…it's kinda nice to chat with someone."

"Don't get this mixed up with being friends. We are not friends."

"Aww, you don't like me?"

"Not particularly."

"Pff, you're no fun. By the way, when people introduce themselves, it's customary to do so back. What's your name? Or should I just keep calling you puddin'?"

"Usually when someone introduces themselves they use their real name."

"Touché. On to a more serious topic, have you cleared the other houses on this street?"

"No…I was going to after a nap."

"Well…we can take care of that tomorrow. It's getting dark out." I stated simply as I walked towards the stairs.

"We? Tomorrow? No, you're not staying with me."

I sighed before looking over my shoulder at him. "Look, Mr. No Name, you're better off having someone watch your back than just doing shit on your own. I get that you're wary but I had more than enough time to kill you, fuck your corpse, take your shit, and be on my merry way. But I didn't. So, show a little gratitude." I proceeded down the stairs, picking up the stranger's revolver from the bottom step.

"Fucked my corpse…gross."

"I was kidding, doofus."

"Doofus? Jesus, how old are you?"

"Don't ask a woman their age." I called from the hallway.

"YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN!" He shouted from the stairs.

I couldn't help but laugh, he was so easy to rile up. "Make yourself useful, drag that end table in front of the door for me." I grabbed a long board that was on the floor, no doubt from one of the houses under construction, and used it as a jam for the kitchen door. I heard my unnamed companion doing as I asked and turned to look for something breakable. I remembered seeing plates in the cupboards above the stove. I grabbed one before walking back to the front door.

"Why'd you have me put this here? It won't hold back any intruders or walkers."

"Shh, watch the master." I dragged the table back a bit before positioning the plate just on the edge of it. "There, now if anyone or anything tries to come in, it'll knock the plate off the corner of the table and we'll be alerted to their presence."

"That's…actually smart."

"I'm not some ditzy dude who acts like Harley. I actually have a brain between my ears."

"I see that."

We stood silently for a few seconds before I perked up a bit. "Hungry? I'm starving for sure."

"I could eat." The stranger's stomach growled loudly and I had to suppress a laugh that tried to escape my mouth. He looked away, clearly embarrassed but his face never changing from his stoic scowl.

"Sounds like you _should_ eat. Come on, I got some good stuff in my bag." I headed towards the stairs to grab my pack.

"I don't need your charity."

I paused before sighing a bit. "There are still decent people in this world. I can understand why you don't trust me, haven't earned it yet, but I honestly have nothing to gain from a kid who looks like he has nothing to offer. Oh." I took his revolver from my waistband and handed it to him, handle first. "I kinda kicked this down the stairs earlier. Sorry about that." I walked back upstairs to grab my stuff before returning to the entry way. I pause to look at my strange new companion, finally getting a good look at him: he had to be about 5'6, kinda slim build, dirty, roughed up, tired…poor kid.

He was still staring at the revolver, hadn't budged in the time it took me to get my things and I found that a tad strange. I walked by him to get to the couch and once I had sat down he finally spoke. "Bruce."

"Excuse me?"

"You can call me Bruce."

"Well, Bruce, what are you hungry for? Want some peas? Baked beans? I found some Great Value macaroni and beef that should still be good. Got some cupcakes I snagged from this zombie I encountered, they still look good."

"I have my own…" I looked over at him, shooting him a sympathetic smile. "Hey, this one is on the house. I've got a decent supply and one can won't kill me. Like I said, decent people still exist." I held out the can for him to take.

He looked over at me, eyeing the can then me. "Thank you. Would you like anything in return?"

"Nah, I'm okay…well actually…come down here and chat with me? It's been a while since I had a nice talk with someone."

"Doable." I smiled up at him before returning to my bag to look for my can opener and utensils. I heard his footsteps as he ascended the stairs and moments later he was sitting on the loveseat across from me.

"So… by the looks of you, I'd say you haven't had a solid hour or two of sleep in about a month, same goes for a decent meal. Maybe a can of something every 2 or 3 days."

"What makes you say that?" He asks as he opens the can I handed him.

"Well," I start as I open my own can. "You're filthy. Indicative of a LOT of travel. Unkempt hair, shaggy by nature, unkempt by having to keep moving. Your eyes have bags under them, meaning you haven't slept for more than 2 hours in ages. Also, the way you just passed out upstairs in the middle of the bed, without locking any doors or setting any traps, sloppy. Just sloppy. That shit will get you killed."

"You're very observant."

"Gotta be, not being observant can get you killed."

"You were right though. It's been a while since I had a good rest. Or a decent meal, again, thanks for this. Last time I ate was 2 days ago."

"Bruce that shit will sign your death warrant."

"I know…hell I thought it was signed a while ago." He looked down sadly at his hands.

"Bruce? You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Just got lost in thought."

"Look, I know a can of food and helping you secure this place hasn't earned me your trust but…on a serious note, get some sleep. I'll keep watch. I'll handle whatever it is that happens. Just get some sleep."

"Why do you care so much?"

"This nurturing nature of mine. Besides, would I kill you after giving you may favorite canned food? No, now eat up, and go get some sleep." I scarf down the remains of my food before heading up to the attic, leaving Bruce alone in the living room.

I was setting up my sniper's nest when I heard the ladder rattling. "Harley? You up there?"

"Yeah, I'm setting up my perch."

"So…you were serious about letting me sleep?"

"Of course, go ahead and lock yourself in your room and catch come z's. I'll be okay up here. Got some linens from the other rooms, pillows so my elbows won't get sore, my other weapons, I'll be okay."

"I'm…still…"

"Look, hon, you can pace a hole in the floor in that room if you want, it's up to you. Just think about it, this could be the last good night's rest you have for a while. If I were you, I'd take it." I loaded my rifle and chambered a round before getting into position.

He peered out of the window from where he stood, trying to see the street below. "How many?"

"I count four."

"You gonna take 'em out?"

"Not unless they pose an immediate threat. Right now, they're just wandering around, bumping into shit. Shoulda seen it earlier, one ate shit after tripping over a beam." I looked up at him, he didn't look convinced. "Look, I've done this before. You leave a few zombies lingering nearby and they're essentially act as guard dogs. Makes the place look abandoned too. I like to leave at most 15 lumbering around, just enough for me to kill with no issue, and enough to deter any would-be threats."

"You've been doing this a while."

"Clearly." I looked through the scope on my rifle, peering into the forest for any movement. Can't see anything right now. Hopefully this night will be a peaceful one."

"Hopefully. Hey, why don't you light a candle or something so you can see better?"

"I'll get spotted. I need the element of surprise in case shit hits the fan."

"Smart." Silence fell upon us and after about five minutes I looked up at him again. He caught me staring and made a weird face at me. "What?"

"Go. To. Sleep. You can't do much here besides peer over my shoulder. Go. I got this."

"I just…"

"Bruce, you're on the verge of collapsing. I can tell. You've been wobbly since I first saw you. You got two options: you can sleep willingly or I can put you to sleep. Your choice."

I stood up just a foot away from him, peering into his eyes, waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. I note that his hand is on his gun and his breathing is a bit uneven. He seems so on edge that I feel like if I move he might shoot me. He stared back at me for a while, trying his best not to back down. I shot him a smirk and that seemed to either piss him off or weaken his resolve because not soon after, he looked at the ladder that led to the second floor.

"Fine. I'll sleep."

"Good boy." I resumed my previous position, watching as a few new zombies lumbered out of the tree line. "We got a few more zombies but nothing to be worried about." I didn't hear Bruce go down the ladder so I assumed he was still there. "Do you want me to tuck you in and sing you to sleep? I have a lovely voice."

"That's it, I'm going to bed."

I chuckled a bit. "See you in the morning."

It had been about 3 hours since Bruce went to bed and so far, other than a few shambling corpses, there was no activity. No people, no animals, just rotting, reanimated corpses. I wanted to go pee in the bathroom but I had to stay up here and make sure nothing happened so I decided to stretch my legs instead. As soon as I got up I heard a sharp thud. I drew my gun and pointed it at the ladder, waiting for more noise. Silence descended on the house once again. I slowly made my way over to the ladder, kneeling so I could slowly open the hatch to the second floor, I stuck my head out enough to look around. Nothing. I didn't hear the plate break or the door being broken down so it had to be Bruce.

I quietly lowered the ladder before climbing down and heading towards the master bedroom. I knocked twice. "Bruce, you okay? Bruce?" I listened closer and heard ragged gasps for air and something in me clicked. My protective instincts kicked in and before I knew what I was doing, I flung open the door, sweeping the room with my gun. I didn't see Bruce right away but as I panned the room I saw him on all fours on the floor by the bed. "Bruce? You okay?" He was gasping for air and didn't seem like he could catch his breath.

"I-I…"

"Shit." He looked like he was having a panic attack or something. I holster my weapon before kneeling next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to look at me. "Hey, I need you to do as I say, okay? Look at me, I can help, I just need you to look at me." I said in a calm, even tone. He slowly glanced at me, still gasping for air, before he rolled over and sat with his back to the wall. "Good, I need you to focus on me. You are safe now. I'm here to help. I need you to answer some questions for me, can you do that? Nod if you can." He nodded quickly. "Okay, what is your name?"

He swallowed hard, still breathing rapidly. "My-my name…my name is…Carl. I'm-I am Carl."

"Good, Carl. You're doing really good. Can you tell me what I'm wearing?"

"Wh-what?"

"Carl, please. Just do as I ask. What am I wearing? Be as detailed as possible."

Carl swallowed hard again before nodding. "Y-you're wearing…you're wearing a pair of r-red combat boots. They go up to your mid-calf…"

"Good. You're doing great. What else?"

"Black…slim fit jeans and…a Px4 9mm on your left hip…as a-as a cross draw. A red and black baseball shirt, the part that covers your torso is…red and the sleeves and collar are black. Your sleeves are rolled up and you have an ammo sleeve on your left arm. Yo-your shirt has 3 red diamonds on it and I saw that it had "Puddin'" written across the back. You also have a shoulder harness on that carries spare magazines."

"Okay, how do I look, describe my face, hair, eyes."

"You have hair that I think goes down to the nape of your neck, tied up in a ponytail, bangs that frame your face, caramel complexion, pouty lips and…" Our eyes locked, I could feel his light blue hues staring into my eyes in the room illuminated only by the moon. "And…light brown eyes…"

His breathing had calmed down considerably and his body was relaxed. I was relieved that he was doing better…and hadn't tried to shoot me when I burst through the door. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, a lot better. Thank you."

"You were probably having a night terror or something."

"Maybe…I thought I was awake but I couldn't move and I thought that walkers had made it in and were eating me…"

"That…that was a fit of sleep paralysis. I think it was followed by a panic attack."

"How would you know?"

"I've coached people through panic attacks and I've had sleep paralysis before. I recognized the panic attack right away and knew you needed a distraction. Thank you for trusting me."

"Th-thank you for helping me. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." I said simply. "I'm gonna grab some water from my pack but before I do, sleep paralysis is said to be cause by sleep deprivation; it's like your mind waking before your body does. Usually that happens during the REM sleep cycle."

"The what?"

"Rapid eye movement portion of the sleep cycle. It's when your body relaxes and if you're aware that you are entering this state of sleep, you notice you can't move or speak. Some people see demons or something on their chest or people in their room. It varies. Just know that you gotta sleep. It helps. Trust me."

I got up to go back to the attic when he reached out and grabbed my wrist. "Wait…"

I turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Stay here…please…"

"I gotta keep watch…Come on. Come the attic with me. I'll help you with your things." He simply nodded, getting up from the floor and grabbing his gun belt. I grabbed his bag from under the bed before leading him to the attic. I pulled up the ladder and made sure the hatch was secure, being sure to set a plate atop it, before making a place for Carl to sleep. "So…Carl. Not Bruce?" I questioned as I handed him a bottle of water.

"Shit…I did say my name, didn't I?"

"Don't sweat it. Heat of the moment and all that, you're okay. Lay down over there and try and get back to sleep, if you can't sleep, just lay still with your eyes shut. Rest your body. It's…it's what my mom had me do when I wasn't tired."

"Did it work?" He asked settling into a comfortable position after removing his hat and placing the bottle aside.

"Honestly…yeah." I chuckled a bit as I resumed my watch. "I would get so bored of lying there with my eyes closed that my mind wandered and I eventually fell asleep. Even if you don't sleep, just being at rest and letting your body do some of its daily maintenance jobs is good for you." I didn't hear him respond but I knew he was still awake. "I'm right here, Carl. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay. Is it alright if I lie facing you?"

"Sure is, but if I catch you staring I'm charging you."

"For what?"

"Ogling the merchandise, sugar." I glanced over at him with a smirk and winked before looking through the scope on my rifle again. "I'm kidding. Also, if you're curious about what's happening outside, there's at most ten…walkers…outside. None near the house. Doesn't look like any were drawn when I kicked in your door, so we should be good." He simply nodded before getting this faraway look in his eyes.

"Hey, Harley?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." He let out an exasperated sigh. "Go ahead."

"Why do you care so much about if I sleep, if I eat, if I need something to drink or if I'm okay?"

I didn't answer for a while, but when I was ready to, I took my hands off my rifle and sat up to face him. "It's a gift and a curse…something even this shitty world couldn't rid me of." I glanced out the window, seeing my reflection as well as a new walker emerging from the forest. "I always cared before the world ended, always looking out for my friends and checking in on them. I held the door for people, I asked strangers if they were okay when they looked down or in need, I always tried to do good and be a good person…even to people who didn't deserve it…"

"Go on."

"Well, I care because I can't help myself. It's programed into me. I decided to leave you be when I found you sleeping, I decided not to take your stuff. I came to check on you when I heard you fall out of bed. I don't know why, I just did. Maybe because my mom raised me that way, maybe because I saw enough stupid shit going on in the world and thought that if I cared just a little bit, something might change or the person I helped could see that not all people are bad people…So…in short, I care because some of me still wants to show people that not everyone is bad."

We sat silently for a while, I thought he might have fallen asleep and that I had just been talking into the darkness. "That shit can get you killed."

"Yeah…that's why when I'm alone like I was before bumping into you, I care only for myself…but at the same time I care about people in some fucked up way."

"How so?"

"If I encounter a group, I know 90% of the time, I could pick them off slowly but instead I sneak around them and kill only if I need to. I don't seek out people and try to fuck them over. Neither did the group I was with honestly. We sustained ourselves and if trouble came around, we handled it. We never tried to make waves or anything. We kept to ourselves."

"You okay?"

"Yeah…just…it's been a very long time since I talked about this kind of stuff. Normally people only ask the typical questions, how many of you, where are you going, what weapons do you have, what supplies do you have, same old spiel. It's nice to talk about something different…no one likes to remember the good times anymore."

"Maybe…maybe because they trudge up painful memories."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm sorry if I brought anything up."

"Kinda hard to bring up something you're always thinking of."

"I won't pry. Talk if you need to but I won't force you." I looked over at him instead of staring off into space. He looked so beaten down, I felt so bad for him and just wanted to help. I reached out and brushed his hair out of my face before I could stop myself and I quickly withdrew my hand. "S-sorry."

"It's okay. Been a long time since someone did that."

"Would you…like it if I did it again?"

"I…wouldn't mind."

"Would you mind moving so I could still keep watch?" I shifted so my back was against the same wall as the attic window. He walked over to me looking a tad confused. "Here, give me the pillow." He handed me the pillow and I placed it between my legs. "There, lie down." He looked at me quizzically before resting his head on the pillow. I could still see his eyebrows knitted together. He was anxious. I let my left-hand glide through his hair a few times, softly smiling down at him. I could see his face relax after a couple of minutes and that put me at ease.

"Feels nice…"

"Glad I could help."

I stared out the window, watching the walkers move around aimlessly, searching for something to snack on. My hand mindlessly played in Carl's hair, teasing his soft brown locks and massaging his scalp. After another hour or so, I looked down to see him sleeping peacefully. I smiled to myself. To think, not even 24 hours ago, this kid was pointing a gun at me and acting all standoffish. He softened up a lot but I knew there was still a bit of a rift between us. Hopefully tomorrow would clear that up. Once he saw me clearing the street and houses with my trusty bat, he was sure to trust me a bit more. I could feel my eyelids getting heavier, taking one last glance at the ladder, I drew my gun and placed it just out of sight but close enough to aim and fire quickly if needed. With the knowledge that my gun was close by, I began drifting off to sleep.


	2. Don't Make Any Sudden Moves

Chapter Two: Don't Make Any Sudden Moves

I awoke the next morning to the sun beaming in through the window, judging by the position of the shadows outside, it was around noon. Carl was soundly sleeping on his side, his breathing even and calm. His mouth was slightly open and his hair was swept to the right, forming a dark brown veil in front of his eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair a couple of times before carefully getting up; I holstered my sidearm before taking a better look out the window with my rifle, noting that there were about three visible walkers and no people. I packed up our gear before walking over to Carl. He looked so comfortable and at ease that I didn't want to wake him but I knew I had to if we wanted to clear the other houses.

I knelt and gently shook him. "Hey, Carl. Good morning, sleepy head. Time to get up." He stirred awake, groaning a bit. "You're okay, you really are awake. How did you sleep?"

"Hmm? Oh, good morning." He sat up slowly, stretching his arms and back. "That was the best night's sleep I've had in ages. I can't remember the last time I got more than 3 hours of sleep."

"I'm glad you slept well. We got some work to do but if you want to eat first we can do that."

"No sense in working on no energy."

I smirked at him and reached to move hair out of his face but he leaned away a tiny bit. "Oh, sorry. Well, let's eat. I was thinking about clearing the house across from this one first." I felt kind of sad that he didn't let me touch him when I had just spent half the night playing in his hair and I had also let him sleep on my lap but I brushed it off…or at least I tried to.

I went over to the ladder, moving the plate placed on top of it and undoing the hatch before climbing down to the second floor. "Hey, want me to grab your stuff?" He called from the attic.

I mentally kicked myself for forgetting my gear. "Yeah, that'd be nice of you. I'll go check the perimeter."

"Don't forget this." He dropped my bat down from the attic.

I squealed a bit after catching it as it fell. "How could I be so careless and forget you? I'll be back in 5 minutes, if you don't hear from me, come looking…if you want."

"Just be careful and I won't have to."

I smirked to myself before heading down the stairs. I saw that the front door security system was still in place, as was the jam on the kitchen door. I moved the end table and the plate away from the front door before exiting our temporary domicile and greeting the warm sunny day with a smile. Three zombies heard me close the door behind me and started creeping towards me, snarling and groaning.

"Hi boys. You guys feel like playing?" One of them lunged towards me but I side stepped it. "Wow, someone's eager." Another zombie was coming towards me but I pressed the front of my bat to its forehead, keeping it at bay. "Be patient, it's not your turn yet. I want you, Mr. Policeman." The last zombie was what used to be a fully uniformed officer, still wearing his gun belt and everything. It lunged towards me but a quick knee to the chin stopped it in its tracks. Its hat flew up as it fell backwards onto the pavement and in one fluid motion, I redirected the second zombie with my bat so it collided with the first and caught the hat as it came back down.

I placed that hat on my head, tipping it with the addition of a wink, towards the zombies trying to get off the ground. "Alright, play time is over." I crushed the policeman zombie's head beneath my boot before taking two swings with my bat to finish off the other two. I let out a puff of air, admiring my handiwork before glancing up at the attic window. I saw Carl looking down at me and gave him a confident smile before waving and walking towards the first zombie, removing his gun belt then moving towards the rear of the house.

As I rounded the back of the house, I saw two more zombies staggering about and with two quick swings of my bat, they were disposed of. I came back to the front of the house and walked inside just as Carl descended the stairs. "Enjoy the show?"

"It was slightly entertaining. What's that?" He asked, pointing towards my shoulder.

"Grabbed this off that one zom- I mean walker." I began rifling through the pouches on the belt. "It's got a gun, some handcuffs, flashlight, ah sweet a baton! I miss using one."

"You know how to use that thing?"

I looked over the collapsible, metal rod, remembering my training with wooden ones. "Oh yeah, I trained with pairs of wooden ones but also learned how to use the metal one I was given as a gift."

"What kind of training?"

"I learned self-defense long before the apocalypse set upon us. Swords, staffs, batons, knives, hell even my belt can be used as a defense tool." I peered over him for a second, he looked like he was thinking. "Want me to teach you?"

"What?"

"Want me to show you some shit that will help you defend yourself better? Cuz honestly, looks like you could barely throw a proper punch." I saw his face darken and his body tense up seconds before he was aiming his right fist at my face. I ducked away towards my left, looping my arm around his, and using his momentum, and a simple shift in my weight to fling him to the floor. I walked over to where he'd landed, kneeling in front of him. "Now, what did we learn?" He groaned a bit in response. "Thaaat's right, we learned to tuck and roll when thrown and to also think things through. Now, get up and maybe, if ya ask nicely, I'll teach ya what I just did." I patted him on the shoulder before returning my attention to the scavenged gun belt.

"Would you mind if I took the gun? I kinda just have the one." Carl asked as he got up.

"Sure. Take the spare mags too. You want the baton too?"

"I'd need to learn how to use it first."

"I'll show you." I extended the baton with a firm flick of my wrist. "First up, this weapon uses flicking motions instead of swinging for the fences like my bat." I demonstrated for him a few times. "I prefer to use it in my non-dominant hand as a guarding tool, but that's only against people. For walkers, it's pretty straight forward. You'd need to learn to use it a tad differently against a person though."

"Okay…that's a lot of information."

"After a while it's muscle memory. Here, mirror my body's stance." I got into a basic boxing stance and after he mirrored me, or tried to, I could see that he had no clue how to fight and I needed to change that. "Okay, now slowly throw a punch." He did as I asked and I stopped him midway through. "Okay, let's analyze your position right now: your ribs under your right arm are open for a strike, as is the inside of your forearm. So, I'd use the baton to knock away your arm, grab it with my open hand, keeping your ribs exposed, and targeting your ribs for a strike."

I demonstrated as I explained before showing him the hand motions and once he picked up on the fluidity of it, I decided to fix a few things I saw that bothered me. I started with his fighting stance. I explained to him that his guard was nonexistent and his punches would be ineffective and weak if they connected with someone. He looked a little miffed but realized I was right. I went through the proper motions and mechanics with him and he asked me when he'd be able to punch faster, I told him that it'd come with practice but he must learn control before anything else. He could practice with me later but for now, we needed to go raid the rest of the houses.

I tossed him a couple of breakfast bars I had before sitting on the couch with a can of food for myself. He tore into the first breakfast bar but stopped mid-bite. "What other stuff did you learn before everything went south?" Carl asked as he took up a spot on the love seat.

"Well I was learning to be a gymnast with my friends, I was studying biological sciences in college, I was working on my art skills, and…" I trailed off, I knew that I could be prone to over sharing so I decided to leave out the rest of what I wanted to say[AA1] . "Yeah, that's about it. Pretty boring, right?"

"Not really, I was just a dumb teenager going through puberty when all this started, hadn't even graduated high school yet…so…if you were a bio major, that means you were in college right?"

"Yup. Four years under my belt."

"Shit, how old are you?"

"Twenty-one years old." I said proudly as I rummaged through my bag.

"Holy shit you're old."

"Excuse you, I am not even remotely old. How old are you, twerp?"

"First, I'm not a twerp."

"Debatable."

"Second, I'm 17, or 18…no clue what month it is."

"It's June 17th."

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"My phone. I kept it charged at the place I used to be before the walkers crashed the party."

"You guys had generators?"

"Yup, I used to listen to ten minutes of music a day, then shut off my phone. Now I just use it to check the date if I lose track."

"I thought phones were a thing of the past…Can't even remember the last time I heard music."

"I would play some but it would draw attention to us. Maybe tonight when I have my headphones. AH I FOUND WHAT I NEEDED!"

"And what did you need exactly?"

"These." I pulled my heavily worn, metal forearm gauntlets. "Fabric forearm length gloves with thick Kevlar sleeves filled with lightweight steel plates on top. I usually wear these over my clothes in the winter. They're really warm believe it or not. And these little dents on the surface? Bullets. The slashes? Knives and even a sword."

"Cool…Why were you looking for them?"

"Well" I began as I took off my wrist strap. "I wanted you to watch me in action when we raided the first house. Watch how fluid my motions are and I'm sure it'll give you something to aspire to learn how to do."

He smiled for the first time since I'd met him and nodded his approval. "Okay, make it good though, don't want to have to save your sorry ass."

"Awww, puddin' you really do care!"

"Bite me." I smirked at him for a few seconds before he realized what he'd said. "On second thought, don't. We should get moving."

I slipped on my gauntlets, checked my mag pouches, then picked up my bat before opening the front door and walking outside. I poked my head back in for a brief second to say "Come on, got somethin' better to do?"

I heard him fall in behind me chuckling a bit. I stopped briefly, glancing over my shoulder at him. "What?"

I smiled at him for a second. "Nothing. Just thinking." Continuing towards the house, we walked up the porch before peering through the windows.

"Don't see anything."

"Me either." I pounded my fist against the door, hearing shuffling and snarling inside. I looked back at Carl with a full blown smile on my face. "Show time."

 **Carl POV**

'The hell is this nut job planning?' I drew my gun, covering him as he threw open the door. "There's only four on this level but be caref-" I was cut off by what was, in my opinion, a graceful and mesmerizing display of martial arts; the first walker was moving towards him with one arm extended, he did the throw he used on me earlier but after the walker hit the ground, he stepped back with his left foot, crushing its skull.

He barely stayed in his new stance for a second before he did a spin kick to the second walker's chest, pretty sure I heard bones breaking. As soon as he turned around a walker was already setting upon him and it looked like he was about to get tackled to the floor; I raised my gun but stopped when I saw him smirk.

He grabbed onto the walker's worn shirt, and began falling backward himself, but as he did he flung the walker through where he would have been standing and fell into the bathroom. "Shit…this guy really is good." The final walker was lumbering towards the bathroom but Harley popped out in front of it.

"Lookin' for little ol' me? Well here I am, sugar. Come get some."

He stepped in under the walker's outstretched arms, hitting it with an uppercut and then a low jab to its abdomen before drawing his arms in and…it looked like he did a double punch or something, I wasn't sure what he did but the final walker flew towards me. It landed a couple of feet away from me with a hard thud. It must have shattered its skull because it didn't get up after that.

"Toss me my bat." I quickly complied, noticing one of the two remaining walkers staggering towards him from where they fell in the kitchen. As soon as he caught it, he used his momentum and delivered a brutal upwards swing with his bat before stepping around the decapitated walker and cracking the final walker's skull with a downwards swing.

I heard him let out a puff of air before wicking his bat of a portion of the blood coating it. "Holy shit."

He glanced at me over his shoulder before turning to face me. "Enjoy the show?" He asked as a tiny speck of blood ran down his cheek.

"Uh…yeah. That was…wow."

He took a bow but as he came back up, I saw his eyes go wide and for a few minutes, the world slowed down. Last thing I head was 'Carl, get down' before I was diving to the floor. I looked up briefly and saw him hurdling over me before he vanished out of the house. I heard a splattering sound directly after a thud before everything started to come back into focus. Harley was standing over me, shaking me and calling my name but it all sounded so far away.

"Carl! Are you okay? Are you bitten? Did it grab you? Carl!"

"What? What happened?"

"A walker popped up behind you, I tossed my bat at it before leaping over you and taking care of it. You okay?"

"I almost died? I…I almost died." Memories of what happened a month ago and the promise I made myself[AA2] hit me like a semi doing 90 on the highway.

"But you didn't. You're okay. You're fine."

"I promised myself…I promised _them_ …damn it…DAMN IT!"

"Carl, what's the matter? You promised what to who? You're not making any sense."

I got up and stormed up the stairs to the second floor, sweeping my gun from side to side, checking the rooms. I found a lone walker, it staggered out of the master bedroom. It had a broken leg and looked like it had been rotting for years. I took aim and was about to pull the trigger when a hand came to rest on the barrel of my gun. "What are you doing?!"

"Gun fire will draw more attention. Use this." Harley handed me his bat before stepping out of the way. My mind went blank after that…after what seemed like seconds, Harley gently placed his hand on my shoulder. "I cleared the house. Not much here but I did find some stuff in the basement. Some clothes and a first aid kit that looks like it was left behind. Let me know when you're ready to move to the next house."

He went back down the stairs, leaving me alone once again. I looked over at the walker I'd found…rather what was left of it. Apparently I had been beating it with Harley's bat for quite some time. It was reduced to nothing but a pile of bones and dark red liquid. I continued to stare at my handiwork until I started to feel sickened by it.

I went back downstairs and found Harley standing by the door. "How long was I…"

"Almost 20 minutes. Decided to let you get all your emotions out now so you don't do anything dangerous later. Come on, let's get going."

"Your bat."

"Hang on to it, I'll be fine with my gauntlets and my gun."

He opened the door, checking around a bit first, then proceeded to the house across from the one we were in. I looked at the blood-stained bat in my hand, slightly recalling beating the walker upstairs to a pile of shattered bone and pulverized organs. I tried to shake off the memories trying to push their way to the forefront of my mind but I fended them off for the time being…

On to the next house.

Night had fallen about 2 hours ago. We retired to the attic to eat dinner and rest after a good day's work.

"Pretty decent haul for today: we got some food, some bottles of water, first aid kits, clothes, even found some toothpaste that wasn't opened."

"Yeah, pretty good for one day's work." I sounded a bit quieter than I had intended and it didn't go unnoticed.

"You wanna talk about what happened earlier? We don't have to but if you want to share…I'll listen." I liked that about Harley, he might talk a lot but he actually seemed to care about me. Yeah it had only been two days but he seemed to actually give a shit about me. He didn't pry either, he let me talk when I was ready.

"I'm okay now…thanks for um, ya know, giving me my space."

"Of course. If you're anything like me, you don't need someone in your face the moment something happens; you need some time to sulk, or brood, or be angry, or cry, before someone can just pry into why you were in such an emotional state."

"You sound like a psychologist."

"I did take a psych class my freshman year but most of what I just said was just knowledge gained via personal experience and reflecting on what I wanted in similar situations."

"What…what was college like?"

He paused to think for a second before smiling. "It was the best time of my life: hot boyfriend, great friends, acing all my classes, volunteering, I had a car…great times."

Boyfriend? So he likes guys hmm? Nothing wrong with that. "Really?"

"Pff, hell no. I was single, doing shit in most of my classes, never volunteered, and my only set of wheels was a bike my ex let me have."

I got a kick out of that. "Glad to see that all those stupid movies about college were just fantasies."

"Don't get me wrong, college was fun and I did meet great people, but…college is also where you go through your biggest changes…at least that's how it was for me…" He got quieter as he spoke and I could tell by the look on his face he was recalling something bad from his past. "Wanna hear about it?"

"Hear about what?"

"What changed me. I wasn't always how I am now…okay that's only partially true but something in me changed my sophomore year…I'll never forget the people who brought about that change either…"

"Was it…a good change?"

"In the long run, yes. But when it was happening, I hated every second of it."

"Oh…"

"Yeah. The people involved…well one of them…let's just say if he was on fire, I wouldn't even spit in his direction."

"That's…harsh…I've heard fucked up shit but the way you just said that…I feel like you meant me."

"Nah, you're cool. So far you've done nothing to piss me off. The girl…I wouldn't kill her but I'd slug her in the face one good time…maybe two."

"You'd hit a woman?"

"Oh Jesus, here we go again. Look, all that shit about not hitting women, see how far that gets you these days. Mom always said, if they are bad enough to hit like a man, they're bad enough to get hit back like a man. In no way, shape, or for was I an abuser, but I'm not going to let people put their hands on me. Besides…this one would have deserved it."

Okay, fair reasoning, a little off topic but insightful. "So…you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Well…seeing as how we've got nothing but time, sure, why not? Strap in, it's a long story." I made myself comfortable, putting my empty can aside and giving Harley my undivided attention while he told me his story.

It went on for at least an hour, he noted that he typically left out details but he included every little detail, from how he felt when he got rejected the first time, how he felt when he found out his best friend liked his crush and then him trying to be a good friend and getting them together, even how he felt when he started to like the guy again…I kind of figured where it was headed but as he continued to tell his tale, I found myself feeling more and more sorry for him.

The guy sitting in front of me wasn't the same person I had pulled a gun on, or the same person that calmed me down after my fit of sleep paralysis, or the same person I was clearing houses with…this person was sullen, defeated, sad…he looked broken. Despite the pain he was obviously feeling, he continued.

He described the time they went to Six Flags during Fright Fest for his birthday and he felt like he had a chance to go out with the guy and was debating on whether or not to take the chance and go out with him or let his best friend have him…he said that Halloween night he was informed that the object of his affection made his choice, he was officially dating Harley's best friend. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was fighting back tears.

He looked over at the window, as he did I caught a glimpse of his eyes before his hair covered them. The light from the moon shone through the window, illuminating his face. I saw the moonlight reflect off a tear that rolled down his cheek; he continued, staring off into the distance as he spoke.

Detailing how he felt when his crush told him, he said he felt completely numb and hollow, emphasizing that it wasn't just an overused literary expression of heart break. It was a real feeling. He kind of glossed over dating a guy with the same name as his crush but after he did he got really quiet. I thought he might be crying but when he moved his head slightly to face me, I saw rage. His nose slightly crinkled and his brow furrowed. He wasn't looking at me but at the guy he was talking about. He told me about the argument they had via text that ended in the guy telling him to go fuck himself. The texts that preceded that made me feel like shit, after all they went through, being told he was never considered one of his friends and that he was essentially worthless…Harley finished off his tale with how he tried to make amends with his best friend but she essentially blew him off and he ended up cutting her off for good.

I was speechless. I couldn't even begin to muster a response that didn't sound cliché or forced. I had never really known heart ache until a couple of months ago. I had just started to cope with one loss when a whole slew of loss just got dumped into my lap and no one was there to help me deal with it.

"It's okay if you don't have anything to say. Aside from something I've probably heard before, there's not much to say."

"You're strong."

"What?"

"You're…really strong. You're able to shoulder your fucked up emotional burdens and not buckle under the weight of them. Add on the fact that you've been watching out for me for 48 hours and haven't lost your cool or failed to smile at least five times in a day. It's been so long since I saw someone smile a sincere smile. Everything is so difficult in this world, you're always on guard, always worrying about where your next meal is going to come from, wondering if this is the day you'll die…but you just exude this weird happiness that I've never seen before and it's as encouraging as it is scary."

"I appreciate the compliment…but you're strong too, stronger than you realize. You're almost 18 and you've dealt with the world up until this point and whatever major loss you've experienced recently hasn't stopped you from persevering. You're a strong person too."

"That means a lot…no one's ever said that to me before."

"Well, I'm saying it now."

"Thank you."

"I'm gonna go…express some rage." He got up, grabbing his bat before heading over to the ladder.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Can I…umm…"

"Catch." He tossed me the baton he scavenged from that walker earlier today. Before jumping straight down to the second floor. "In case you were wondering, I'm okay."

"I figured you would be." I climbed down the ladder and started down the stairs, catching sight of Harley just before he vanished outside. Before I could even reach the door, I heard a grunt and wood meeting bone.

I walked outside and saw Harley taking on four walkers by himself with two more closing in from behind him. I knew he was good but I figured a six on one would be a bit unfair so I drew my baton and swung as hard as I could when I reached one of the walkers. The baton swept through the decaying bone like a hot knife through butter. The other walker took notice of me and swung an arm at me.

I could feel my eyes narrow and my focus turn to countering its attack: I mimicked Harley's teachings from earlier and used the baton to block the strike, grabbed the offending limb, and with a firm tug, I pulled the walker in as I swung the baton at its side. The baton went clean through and the top half of the walker fell to the ground. I twirled the baton in my hand before I drove the tip down through the walker's skull.

I stood back up, feeling my lips curl into a smile. "H-Harley! I did it! I did what you showed me." Looking over to my right I saw Harley gracefully sidestepping the last walker with his hands open, palms facing away from him. His hands were on his center line and he kept them there unless he needed to swat away the walker's arms.

He looked so focused, his movements were quick and precise but they flowed really well. The last time he dodged he swept the walker's legs out from under it before bringing his right leg up, grasping his calf at the peak of its arc, before releasing it and crushing the walker's skull.

"Remind me to never piss you off."

"So long as you don't treat me like those assholes I told you about, we're all good[AA3] ." He replied as he picked up his bat.

"Noted. Feel better?"

"A lot better. You?"

"Yeah, I did the move you showed me!"

"Good job! See, I knew you could pull it off. However, that move is more effective on human targets. Living people can still feel pain and a solid strike to the ribs will take the fight right out of them."

"Got it. Let's get cleaned up and call it a night hmm?"

"After you."

After going back inside, we secured the entrances then adjourned to the attic. I took out a bottle of water and cloth from my bag and wiped away the dried blood from my hands and forearms. I turned around and saw Harley stripping off his shirt before he wet a rag and cleaned his face, his boots, and his bat. I found myself staring as he moved, I couldn't help but notice that his body was more toned than I had assumed when we first met.

His chest wasn't really defined but he had muscle developing there. His arms, shoulders, and stomach were where he had the most definition: his abs were visible beneath his caramel skin, his biceps and triceps flexed as he scrubbed at older stains on his bat, and his deltoids seemed to be carefully chiseled into his frame.

I thought about how I looked under my clothes and became a tad self-conscious; I was pale and…well kind of scrawny. I didn't really have any defined muscle except for my arms and my legs. Harley looked like he'd been working out for a few months and I looked like I'd never touched a set of weights in my life.

"You like what you see?"

"What?! What are you talking about?!"

"No need to get flustered, I was kidding. If you were wondering, I got this body from gymnastics, martial arts, and a bit of working out. Also, my old job required me to lift, push, and pull things so there's that too."

"I wasn't looking at you; I-I was spacing out."

"Sure you were." His face scrunched up for a second before he walked over to me.

He cupped my cheek with his left hand and I could feel my face heat up, both from his touch and from a bit of embarrassment. "Wh-what are you doing?!"

"Stop squirming." He brought a clean portion of his rag up to my face and made circular motions on my cheeks and chin. "I'm cleaning blood off of you."

"I-I can do it myself." I replied softly, not putting up much of a fight anymore. I kind of liked how he handled me gently, not like I was fragile but like he cared.

"There, all clean." He walked over to his bag, donning a fresh shirt.

"Thanks. So umm…who should keep watch first?"

"I can do it if you want, I'm a night owl anyway and we have quite a few alarms set in case something or someone comes in. Trip wires on the stairs, brace on the kitchen door, plate at the front door, plate on the hatch to the attic. So even if we both fell asleep, we'd be warned of any intruders early on."

"Right…still have no idea when you set up the trip wires."

"I have my ways. Oh, wanna listen to a couple songs together?"

"Oh right, you have your phone. Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was going to play some songs that always got my adrenaline rushing but I think music that's a bit calmer would be in order. So, song number one is Drive, song number two is Hurricane. Both songs are by an artist I discovered by accident."

"They better be good."

"I promise, if you don't like them you get one free punch to the gut."

"Deal."

He pulled out his phone, powering it on and plugging in his headphones. He quickly scrolled through his songs and found the first one. He handed me an ear bud before grabbing a pillow and plopping it into my lap. I didn't try and stop him, considering I had done the same just last night I felt I owed him the comfort. We both put in our earbuds before he started the song. I relaxed against the wall and he put his head in my lap, smiling up at me before relaxing.

I zoned out for about a minute, letting the music form images in my head. When I looked down at Harley, he was mouthing the lyrics. 'Your laugh, echoes down the hallway, carves into my hollow chest, spreads over the emptiness, it's bliss.' He opened his eyes and as they met mine, he mouthed 'It's so…simple but we can't stay, over analyze again. Would it really kill you if we…kiss?'

Our eyes were locked for what seemed like an eternity, but ever so briefly did my eyes flicker down to his full lips. His eyes traveled to my lips and then back to my eyes. I was so captivated by his dark brown eyes glistening in the faded moonlight that I didn't hear the next song start, but he did. Without missing a beat, he began mouthing the words. 'I went down to a place in Bed-Stuy, a little liquor on my lips; I let him climb inside my body and held him captive in my kiss'

Why was I so entranced by him? He was some random person I almost shot a couple of days ago, now here he was, almost singing to me while his head rest comfortably in my lap. 'I'm a wanderess, I'm a one-night stand. Don't belong to no city, don't belong to no man. I'm the violence in the pouring rain. I'm a hurricane.' This song…did he pick it to describe who he is as a person? Is he just going to up and leave once he's had his fill here? 'Oh, and baby, you could devastate me. Little lady, come and fade me.'

Am I getting attached to him?


	3. I Don't Want to Let This Go

Chapter Three: I Don't Want to Let This Go

I've gotten too comfortable. He's gotten too comfortable. He's lying here with his head in my lap, sound asleep like he doesn't have a care in the world. How did we gain this much trust between each other in just over two days? It's weird. It's weird because…I don't feel like he'd betray me, I don't feel like he'd hurt me. I feel like I can actually trust him…I like having him around too, I don't feel as lonely as I used to.

I looked down at him as he slept, he looked so peaceful and calm. It's a sight I hadn't seen since I was at the prison…Judith was sleeping in her makeshift crib after screaming her head off for almost an hour. I had finally managed to get her to sleep and couldn't help but stare at her as she wiggled a bit before getting comfortable. So, innocent. So, sweet. So, care free.

"Mmm…"

"Harley? You awake?"

"Slightly..." He said sleepily. "What time is it?"

"It's still dark out so it's probably 2 a.m."

"Okay…why are you still up?"

"You fell asleep so I took watch."

"Shit…sorry. Want me to take over?"

"Nah, I got it."

He looked up at me through half lidded eyes, I could tell he was still half asleep and was in no position to watch for any threats. I couldn't stop myself from smirking at him, trying to act all responsible and tough. It was kind of endearing.

"Is there something funny?"

"No. Just thinking."

"It's nice to see you smile."

"Wh-what?" I could feel my throat go dry for a second.

"It's nice to see you smile. I don't like seeing you glare all the time, or frown. Seeing people smile reminds me that there is still some happiness left in this world."

"Is that why you smile so much?"

"Sort of. I smile because I try and not let shit get to me…sometimes it does and when it does, it's bad. So I try and squeeze every drop of happiness out of a day that I can before a bout of depression hits."

"You…you have depression?"

"Did I say that out loud? Shit, well now you know. I battle depression sometimes."

"I'm…I'm sorry to hear that."

"Hey, hey, hey, don't look so glum." He chuckled as he rubbed my cheek with the back of his index finger. "I've learned to cope with it. In today's world, I kind of have to, if it hits when I'm in hiding, or taking a breather, or waking up after a short nap, I can't afford to let it slow me down. Adrenaline seems to fix it for the most part so if I encounter trouble like a lone walker or something, I tend to forget about my depression and do what I have to."

"Well seeing as how any meds you'd find for it would probably be expired, that's an okay way to combat it."

"Being in good company helps too."

"You mean me?"

"Mmhmm. Haven't seen any other friendly people in almost two weeks so being here with you is nice."

"You're not just saying that, are you?"

"Nope. No reason to lie. I usually only lie if my life is in danger."

"And you don't feel like I'm a threat to you."

"Not really."

"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"I see it as a good thing, I can have you watch my back without worrying that you'd stab me or shoot me."

"How do I know you won't stab or shoot me?"

"Well…we've had more than enough opportunities to kill each other. The fact that neither of us have tried to do so says something. Hell, I was asleep on your lap for a few hours, you could have easily killed me. Just like I could have killed you while you were asleep."

"Valid point…"

"Carl, I actually like having you around. It might be me not having friendly human contact for a little while, or it might be the fact that I'm attracted to you, or the fact that you're a nice person but I like being around you."

"You don't know me that well though." I glanced away from him for a moment, I couldn't look at him right now. How could he be so trusting? How could he just…be so comfortable being around me?

"Call it intuition. Call it a vibe. Call it whatever you want. I just don't feel like my life is in danger when I'm near you. I feel warm and…cozy."

I was silent for a while…I just couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying…it took me ages to build trust with people and here we are with what seemed like a mountain of trust formed in such a short period of time. The worst part about it was that…I kind of felt the same. I just got this weird feeling when I was around Harley. It scared me but it was so nice to finally have someone to be around after so long…I didn't want him to leave my side.

"Carl…if you want to part ways, we can. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If you want, I can even leave now-"

"NO! I mean…no. I'd be okay sticking together for a few more days."

"Do you want me to give you some space? Maybe sleep downstairs?"

"I wouldn't like that." I trailed off quietly.

He finally opened his eyes all the way, peering into mine. I could tell he was thinking, probably trying to decide what was best for me. He nodded slowly after a few more seconds of contemplation. "Okay then, I'll stay right here. Unless you want to lie down."

"Could you…make a spot for me next to you?"

"Sure."

I helped him spread out a blanket for the two of us before placing two pillows side by side. I took my hat off before I laid down, he laid down facing the same direction as I was. I laid my gun beside me before getting comfortable. I heard Harley place his bat next to our heads before doing the same with his gun. I shut my eyes and started to calm my mind when I felt Harley's arm snake around my waist and his body press into mine.

"Harley…what are you doing?" I asked softly.

"Reassuring you." He squeezed me a bit tighter, gently rubbing my stomach.

I wanted to protest but I just nodded into my pillow before muttering "Thank you."

The following afternoon when I woke up, still tangled in Harley's arms. I could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest against my back. He had his arm underneath mine and across my chest. I smiled to myself, appreciating this closeness that we were sharing, it was nice. I hadn't ever been this close to someone physically so it was a bit weird but I kind of enjoyed it. I felt safer than I had in a while. He suddenly drew me into his chest and I couldn't help but blush a bit. I'd only heard talk from Glenn and Maggie about what that means and how good it feels.

"Hey…Harley, you awake?" no response. Either he was faking or he was actually still asleep. I slowly peeled away from him and upon sitting up I saw a stunning sight: Harley was still asleep, hair hanging in his face, mouth slightly open, and his chest still rising and falling evenly. The afternoon sun coated him in a golden glow. He looked so peaceful, just as he had last night when we were listening to music, just like when he had fallen asleep.

I reached over and gently shook him. "Hey, sleepy head, time to get up."

His eyes slowly flickered open, I smiled at him upon meeting his bleary-eyed gaze. "Carl?"

"Yeah, I'm right here."

"Mmm good morning to you."

"Pretty sure it's passed noon."

"Whatever." He sat up smiling at me. "So, what's the plan for today?"

After Harley was fully awake, we started formulating a solid plan in regards to pressing on in our journey. I asked Harley where he was going, he said California. He asked where I was going I told him that I didn't have a particular destination in mind, that I was just moving. He said I could stick with him until I figured out some place to go. It was a good suggestion; we could look out for one another. We planned on heading along the road that lead through this neighborhood towards a highway where we could maybe find a car and try and get through this state and closer to California.

We pack up our things and after eating, we started moving. We headed up the street in silence but after walking for about a mile or two, Harley decided to speak. "I noticed something, I may talk a lot but you ask the most questions."

I thought about his statement for a second and realize he was right. "It's mostly to keep the conversation going."

"Would you mind if I asked questions of my own?"

"Not at all, but I reserve the right to refuse to answer."

"Fair enough. Where were you before we bumped into each other?"

"A prison."

"Smart. My friends and I passed by one when we were traveling but it was just the 3 of us and clearing an entire prison would have taken ages."

"It took us a while too, but it was safe for a long time."

"Did you ever learn how to drive?"

"No…never had the time."

"It's not that hard with the proper instruction. At least here you don't have to worry about cops or other drivers or hitting people."

I chuckled a bit. "That's true."

"If we find a car I can teach you."

"I'd like that."

"Weapon of choice?"

"Well…it'd have to be this." I gestured towards the revolver on my hip.

"I pegged you as more of a semi-auto 9mm guy."

"I used to have a 92fs but I lost it."

"So where'd you get the revolver?"

I froze up a bit. "No comment."

"Oh…okay. Umm…have you ever used a sword before?"

"No, I knew someone who did though. She was amazing with her katana."

"A swordswoman eh? Haven't seen one of those since my days in self-defense."

"She was really good with her sword and could fight really well. Come to think of it, she might be able to go toe to toe with you."

He perked up a bit. "Oh really? Well I hope I get to find out. So far all the people I've had to fight were piss poor at hand to hand combat. I want a challenge. I don't want the same predictable fighting style of 'punch until I hit it'."

"What about me?"

"I need to teach you more skills before you pose a bigger threat to me. So far you're most dangerous with a gun but I could handle you with a knife or a blunt object."

"How far off am I from being able to pose a threat to you with just my hands?"

"A year or two with consistent training and practice."

"A year?!"

"Yup. It flew by for me, but for you…maybe not."

"Well can we start today?"

"Maybe when we find someplace to stay put for a bit. I can train you properly there, but on the road, I'd rather not waist the energy."

"Okay…what would you have me do?"

"Punches, kicks, stretches, forms, self-defense skills, disarms, throws, how to take a fall, how to use certain weapons-"

"I meant as a start." I chuckled.

"Well, punches, kicks, and stretches. Probably some slow sparring too."

"Oh, I um…I don't…"

"Suck it up. If you're insecure about fighting, you need to get over that shit, quick."

"Will you help me?"

"Of course." He smiled back at me. I felt a bit more secure knowing he'd help me instead of just leaving me to my own devices.

"I'll probably have you do what feels natural and coach you from there."

"What do you mean?"

"Well if we were in a combative situation, me vs you, we don't know each other, we have no weapons, I'd want to see what you'd do first, punch, kick, tackle, that kind of stuff."

"Ah. I got it. What would you do first?"

"Not telling you."

"What? Why?"

"Not letting you get the upper hand."

"Like I'd even know what to do at this point."

"If you stick with me and train, you'll get better, and you might actually win against me."

"Really think I could beat you?"

"You have potential."

"Sweet…"

"Don't get your hopes up. You could, in the future, beat me. But now? Not a chance."

"Rude."

"Truthful." He laughed.

After a few hours of walking with rest stops tossed in to stave off fatigue, we came upon a secluded trail that led to a cabin. Harley told me he'd go in and scope out the place. I wanted to protest but he told me he moved faster when he was alone. He handed me his rifle, bat, and his bag after he pulled a suppressor out of one of the side pouches. He affixed it to his side arm before taking one final look at me.

"Go hide up in that tree with my rifle, cover me in case I get into trouble."

"What about our bags?" Pulling out a camo tarp used by hunters, Harley proceeded to cover our bags with it and place them near the base of the tree under some leaves.

"They're gonna be right under you, off the path, next to the tree."

"Okay. Be careful."

He placed his hand on my shoulder before leaning in and kissing me on the cheek, winking at me as he pulled away. "You too. Now get into position."

"R-right!" I started to climb the tree and once I was high enough I nodded to Harley who slowly crept up to the house. "Be careful, you idiot. I don't want you getting hurt."

 **Harley POV**

I slowly approached the house and I could hear voices inside, sounded like two people talking. I look over at Carl and hold up 2 fingers, I can see that he nods in confirmation. I climb up onto the railing of the porch and onto the overhang as quietly as I can, redistributing my weight so that I don't make as much noise. I creep up to one of the windows and see that it is an unoccupied bedroom. I go over to the second window and see someone sleeping on the bed. I look back at Carl and hold up one finger.

The man sleeping on the bed is about a good 50 pounds overweight, long beard, tattoos, shotgun to his right, Glock 17 on his right hip, and a cupcake in his left hand. I look over at his bag in the corner of the room and see a hatchet tucked away under his sleeping bag. This guy would be an easy kill right now, as much as I wanted to avoid taking a life, this might be the only chance I get with this guy.

I sat, thinking for a moment, thinking about how I could take this house with minimal loss of life. An idea popped into my head and I wasted no time putting it into action. I grabbed a rock from the roof before circling back around to the empty room, sliding open the window and climbing in. I tossed the rock out of the door and hustled back out of the room, closing the window behind me and waiting for footsteps. The sleeping man in the other room jolted awake, drawing his gun and firing 3 times into the wall. I saw Carl tense up in the tree but I waved him off.

I heard a commotion in the house, something about firing into the wall and drawing unneeded attention to them. I grabbed another couple of rocks and headed down towards the porch. I hung over the edge and tossed a few rocks against the hardwood deck. The men came pouring out of the house right as I had swung back over the edge, out of sight. One had an AR, one had a bow, and the last guy picked up his shotgun. I flung a few rocks off into the forest, drawing their attention.

I looked up at Carl, and gestured for him to cover me if shit went south. He nodded in agreement. As the men slowly stepped off the porch and onto the path to the cabin, I swung down quietly behind them. When my boots hit the ground, I spoke.

"Hi boys." They all spun around pointing their guns at me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. No need to be hostile." I extended my hand to the one in the middle who looked like the leader. "Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha."

"The fuck are you doing? You got a death wish?"

I paused for a second, thinking over his question. "Maybe, I'm not really quite right in the head." I pressed my index finger to my temple, smiling a bit as I did.

"Fuck is this kid on, Joey?"

"Fuck if I care. He's a dead man."

"Ah, ah, ah. Wouldn't do that if I were you."

"And why not?"

"Well, I wanted to just procure this house for myself and my other few personalities without killing anyone."

"There are three of us, and one of you, you're the only one that's gonna die here."

I looked off into the distance for a split second. "Are you sure? These guys look pretty tough…maybe two of them but what about the third? Oh, the guy with the bow! Right. Gotcha." I looked back at the three men, smiling. "Sorry…the voices."

"Alright that's it, kill this clown!" I breathed out a heavy sigh, gesturing to Carl with a thumbs down and before I could even flinch, all three men dropped in front of me.

"Thanks, Puddin'!" I yelled at Carl.

"You're an idiot." He called back.

I went inside the house, calling out to see if anyone else was inside. As I made my way through the house, I discovered that the three men were the only inhabitants. I walked back outside, heading towards the tree Carl was climbing down from.

"So the house is clear, for now. I don't know how many more of them there are, more people might come back. I say we camp out right-" Carl delivered a firm punch to my left shoulder as soon as his feet hit the ground. "Ow! What the hell was that for!?"

"You scared the shit out of me, you idiot!"

"Oh…sorry. Didn't think you cared that much."

"I…I don't. Just don't take any unnecessary risks."

I smiled at him before patting him on the cheek. "Noted. I'm sorry for scaring you. Come on, let's stash their gear and their bodies, see if anyone else comes back. I'll let you take the AR. It was fitted with a scope so you can do long range shooting if need be. Plus, now you have a gun besides your side arms."

"Appreciate it. You want the shotgun?"

"Not my type of gun but in this world I can't be too picky."

We took what we could from their packs and rolled the bodies off the path into a ditch nearby. We did our best to cover the blood left behind and make the cabin look less suspicious before climbing into trees across from each other and waiting for any activity. A few walkers staggered by but no one else appeared, not even after it got dark. We waited about an hour after nightfall before I climbed down from my perch and went to the cabin. I checked around a bit before signaling Carl to come inside.

"What if more people show up?"

"We set traps and sleep upstairs. This place looks like it has an attic too so we'd be good up there." I locked the door before taking a good look around.

The cabin was spacious to say the least. The main hall led towards a flight of stairs that led up to the second level of the house. I could see that beyond the stairs to the left was the kitchen and to the right was the living room. To the right of the door was a dining room and to the left of the door was an office. There was a bathroom between the office and the stairs. Above us had to be the bedrooms I saw when I climbed onto the roof.

"Swanky digs."

"Yeah, no kidding. This place is great. Must have its own generator too. I can charge my phone here…"

"We could train here…"

"Staying put?"

"Staying put."

We set traps at the doors and windows after clearing the rest of the house. While We were making ourselves comfortable in the attic, I heard Carl moving some stuff around behind me before tapping me on the shoulder. I turned to look at him and saw he was standing still, feet together, and hands to his sides.

"Eager to get started, are we?"

"Yes."

"Well alright then. First, sit down, back facing me."

"Okay." He did as I asked, awaiting my next command.

"Stay still, I need to take care of something before we start." I knelt behind him with a comb and hair tie in my hand then gently combed his hair back before tying it off. "There. Now you can see what you're doing."

"Feels weird having my hair tied up."

"Well get used to it, I'm not teaching you if your hair is hanging in your face."

"Fair enough." He peered over his shoulder at me and a bit of his hair fell in front of his eyes. I smiled at him before kissing the top of his head.

"Alright, let's start with some stretching, then move into working on your stance and hand work. Do you have anything you want to work on after that?"

"Sparring."

"Are you sure? I won't go easy on you."

"I wouldn't want you to."

"Alright." We stood up facing each other. "Let's begin."

"Keep your guard up or this will happen." I gently tagged Carl on his cheek before backing off.

"Got it!" He aimed a punch down his center line while guarding his other side.

"Good!" I swatted away his punch before aiming a punch of my own to his gut. I stopped short illustrate that he was open. "But you're still open."

"Damn it!" He tried locking my arm in place but I shifted my weight and sent him tumbling to the ground. He was about to get up when I appeared in front of him with my fist inches away from his face.

"You lose."

He sighed before laying back on the floor. "Fuck. I thought I got close this time."

"You did something different but you weren't that much closer."

I helped him up before tossing him a towel. "You took my advice to heart though, your stance and form are much better. Your punching is less telegraphed too."

"Thank you."

"Take a breather. I'm gonna do my cool down that I haven't done in ages."

"What is it?"

"100 double punches, 30 up and over sidekicks and 30 double roundhouse kicks on each leg."

"Can I-can I join in?" Carl asked trying to catch his breath.

"Rest. I'll have you do a fourth of my regimen."

"So 25 double punches, and 8 of each kick?"

"Yup."

"That's seems so light."

"Carl, you're still worn out from sparring. Take it slow."

He tried to get up but quickly slumped back on his hands. "Okay…I'll rest for a bit."

"Good." I proceeded to do my cool down and when I finished, Carl was drinking a bit of water. "How ya doin', sugar?"

"Better. I watched what you were doing and you are way faster than you look."

"Of course I am. I gotta have an ace up my sleeve in case something happens. I don't look imposing so I have that, but if someone sees passed that, I need another trick, that's where the gymnastics and the self-defense comes in. So does the speed but I never go super-fast, I could lose control and burn myself out."

"Why would going faster burn you out?"

"More energy is put forth when I increase the speed of my attacks, it affects my muscles too. I also toss out more techniques in a shorter time and that tires me."

"So…if you increase your speed, you want to end the fight quickly by overwhelming your opponent with how fast you strike."

"Exactly."

"Got it."

"You seem to have regained some energy. Remember the kicks and punches I taught you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, get to it." Carl got up and started to do his punches, I saw him starting to sweat and saw hair starting to fall in his face. He finished his sets and started panting but went right into his kicks, finishing them pretty quickly. "You push yourself too hard."

"I-I what?"

"You've done all of this at 110% and have barely slowed down, take it easy, you don't want to burn yourself out."

"Okay…I'll take it easy."

"Lie down for a bit, I'm gonna go check the house." I slid on my gauntlets and put my holster back on my belt before striding over to Carl.

"Be careful."

"I will." I wiped away some of the sweat forming on his forehead, smiling softly at him.

"You taking your bat?"

"Nah, got a knife and my gun, I'll be okay."

I went over to the stairs that lead to the attic, stepping over the traps we set before exiting the door to the second floor. I slowly paced about the second floor, listening to the sounds of insects and animals outside. I didn't hear anything and began to relax a bit. I wandered into one of the bedrooms up on the second floor, striding up to the window beside the bed. I saw something moving quickly around the back of the house.

"Shit." I quietly darted up to the attic and saw Carl stretching his back.

He quickly sat up and began to speak. "What is it-" I covered his mouth with my hand.

"People are circling the house, stay up here and unless you hear two knocks before that door opens, you shoot whatever comes up the stairs. Got it?" Carl nodded quickly before grabbing his AR and aiming at the stairs.

I slowly descended the stairs, listening for any indication of where our new house guests were coming from. I heard a window open in the living room and three people climb in. I peered around the corner and saw one head off into the kitchen the other two proceeded towards the front of the house. One broke off to check the office. The final intruder began to head up the stairs. I waited for him to it the trip wire I set at the top of the stairs and sure enough, he fell for it. His chin collided with the carpeted landing and I used the sound of him tripping to put a bullet in his skull before jumping from the landing and onto the couch bellow.

"What was that?" I heard one intruder whisper.

"Lee? Lee!" I heard footfalls on the stairs before the muttering of obscenities. "They got Lee, one right to the back of the head." He peered over the railing at the living room and the moment he caught sight of me, I put one between his eyes.

He fell over the railing and I managed to dive off the couch in time to not get crushed by 200 pounds of dead weight. I looked up and saw the final intruder rush out of the office, he had a sword on his back and a gun in his hip. I fired a couple of shots at him as I vaulted the couch, he dove into the office and when I got close to the office the assailant fired and knocked my gun out of my hand before his second shot grazed my arm. His third shot I blocked with my left gauntlet. I quickly closed the distance between us and disarmed him with a simple joint lock.

I ejected the gun's magazine, cleared the chamber, and finally removed the slide before discarding the pieces. I nodded towards his sword "You any good with that thing?"

"Wanna find out?"

I cracked my neck before getting into my fighting stance. "If you've got a minute or two to spare."

He drew his sword, pointing the tip at me. The sound brought back such great memories but it was short lived when my opponent swung his blade at me. I blocked it with my left gauntlet before throwing a back fist, tagging him in the face. He glared at me before doing a downwards strike that I side stepped and following it up with a slash at my midsection. I blocked it and countered with a right hook.

"Come on, you gotta do better than that."

He growled before attacking wildly, one of his swing grazed my cheek and at that point I decided I needed to end this. With his next strike, I stepped in, blocking with my right gauntlet and used my left to come across at the hilt of the blade and shatter the sharp steel, leaving my opponent with nothing but a handle and a guard.

"Now what?" I smirked triumphantly.

He threw a combination of punches, aiming for anything that looked like me. I began to read the slight pattern he was developing and see how tired he was getting. I saw my moment when he threw his next right straight, I blocked the inside of his fore arm, snaked my hand around the back of his neck in order to bend him over before delivering a knee strike to his face and chest and finally tossing him into the dining room table. I picked up my gun and fired two shots into my downed opponent's head.

I breathed a sigh of relief before trudging back up the steps. "What a waste of a sword. Fucker didn't even know how to use it. Would have been better off in my hands." I bypassed the body on the stairs and made my way to the door to the attic. I knocked twice before opening the door. "Carl, I took care of it. Just three low lives who wouldn't know their asshole from their mouth.

As soon as got to the top of the stairs I was almost sent tumbling back down them when Carl threw himself into my arms. "I'm glad you're okay…I heard gunfire…then I heard feet shuffling and metal on metal…I got scared…"

I wrapped my arms around him, cradling the back of his head with my hand. "Hey, hey, I'm alright. Just a couple of scratches."

He pulled away to look at me, brushing my hair away the fresh cut on my right cheek. "Where else?"

I showed him my left shoulder, smirking casually. "Tis but a scratch." I promptly slapped me on the side of my head. "Okay, I'm sorry. I promised I'd be careful and I was slightly less careful than I intended to be. Be a dear and patch me up?"

He took a hard look at me with his icy blue eyes before nodding and going to get the first aid kit. "I'm…I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks for worrying." I paused before walking over to where he was sitting. "You know…I fought so hard to protect not just me or this house, but also you, right?"

"You did?"

"Yeah, you're kinda growing on me."

I looked away shyly before gesturing to a spot in front of him. "Sit down, I'll take care of you."

I took off my shirt before taking up a spot in front of Carl. He cleaned my arm and wrapped it in a bandage. Before placing a pillow in his lap and telling me to lean backwards. I did as he asked, letting him dab my cut with rubbing alcohol before placing a small bandage over it.

"There. All patched up."

"Thank you kindly." I smirked up at him. He had a sad smile on his face, he looked relieved but also kind of…frightened? "I'm sorry."

"It's okay…you did the heavy lifting; I should have backed you up."

"You were tired; I couldn't ask much of you aside from just covering me with your AR. You did as I asked and look, we got through it." He didn't look very reassured.

"I was just scared…"

"Does…does this have to do with why you were alone when we met?"

He slowly nodded. "I don't want to talk about it now."

"We don't have to. Just know I'm right here, alive and well." I reached behind his head, removing his hair tie. I slipped it onto his wrist, patting it after it was in place. "Keep that. Let it remind you of me…and to keep your hair out of your face."

"Is this like a friendship bracelet or something?" He chuckled.

"Call it what you want. You'll never forget me as long as you have it, I can assure you of that."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. We should…probably get rid of those bodies I left downstairs."

"How many bodies?"

"Three: one on the couch, one in the dining room and one on the stairs. Our tripwire gave me the chance to finish him."

"I have a newfound appreciation for your tripwires."

"I told you they'd pay off." I smiled up at him before sticking my tongue out at him. He laughed and did the same back. We sat there making goofy faces at each other for a few minutes, laughing and trying to make a weirder face than the other.

"Come on you idiot, we got some bodies to dispose of."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

We went about transporting the bodies outside after grabbing the supplies they had stashed on them then set up more traps around the house in case the six men we took care of were part of a very large group. We retired to the attic, relaxing for the first time that day. Finally, we were able to catch our breath, it was a rare occurrence but when it did happen it tended to be short lived.

Carl and I were currently laying shoulder to shoulder staring up at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of that nightfall brought. For the first time in a long time I was listening to the world for the fun of it. I wasn't trying to keep tabs on walkers or listen for hostile people. There was only me, Carl, and the creatures around us.

I looked over at Carl, he had his eyes shut and his hands rested atop his chest. His hair was brushed to the side so both of his eyes were visible. It was nice to see that he was just as calm as I was, I hated seeing the fear in his eyes that I'd seen just a couple of hours ago when he thought I was hurt.

I could feel a devilish smirk set upon my face and before I could have second thoughts, I swung one leg over Carl's waist before resting my weight on his lower body.

"Hey there, cowboy."

"Harley? What are you doing?"

"Being impulsive."

"I can tell."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

I smiled down at him. "Really?"

"I-if you're okay with it." He backpedaled.

"My real name."

"What about it?"

"My real name is Tay."

"Hmm."

"What is it?"

"I pegged you more as an Alex or something."

"Nope. Just plain ol' Tay."

"Tay. Gonna take some getting used to."

"I can still be your Harley."

"Would that still make me your Puddin'?"

"If it's okay with you, then yes."

"It's perfectly fine with me."

I leaned closer to Carl, glancing from his eyes, to his nose, to his lips. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"No. There was this girl I kinda wanted to kiss back at the prison but she was into someone else."

"I know that feeling all too well."

"Right. Sorry…I forgot you told me about Andrew."

"Not him you dummy, I told you we kissed a few times during truth or dare. I was referring to other crushes."

"Oh. Still, unrequited affection sucks."

"Amen to that."

He put his arms behind his head, smirking a tad smugly. "Comfy up there?"

"You know it."

I gently took his hands and guided them towards my hips. He kept his hands there, seeming a tad nervous but I felt him gently grip the top of my hips. It kind of surprised me but I liked how he seemed to get more comfortable as time passed.

"Comfy down there?"

"Y-yeah. Very c-comfy."

"And nervous, I see."

"I'm not nervous!" He shouted quickly.

"It's okay if you are. I did just kind of mount you. I could get off if you want."

"No! I mean no…"

"If you're okay with it then I am too."

"I am this is just…new…"

"You've never…you haven't, have you?"

"Haven't what?" He asked, face turning a tad red as his gave shifted away from my lingering stare.

"Haven't been physical with anyone."

"I…haven't. Never really had time for it. Never really had anyone I liked around to be physical with except for when we were at the prison."

"I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do." Carl got this fiendish look in his eye and before I could counter him, he flipped me onto my back and pinned my wrists beside my head.

"I want to do this."

"As much of a turn on as this is, what do you wanna do, cowboy?" He looked at me a tad shocked. "Make a move."

Our eyes locked, I could tell he was nervous just by the way he looked at me. I saw that his gaze was slowly drifting south; I noticed that my shirt had rode up a bit and my stomach was showing. That's where his gaze lingered the longest.

"I…I uh…"

"Like what you see?"

"I don't know…I think so, yeah. I really like your tattoos…never noticed them before." His gazed shifted from the dates on my shoulder to the small sleeve of diamonds on my right forearm.

"Thank you. Better question, are you physically attracted to me?"

"…yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Prove it." I challenged defiantly. At this point I was eager to see what he'd do.

He slowly leaned forward, moving my hair away from my neck before lapping at my skin. I felt his lips brush against my neck before he placed a soft kiss upon skin. "Am I doing okay?"

He was doing great. Unbeknownst to him, my neck was one of the most sensitive spots on my body and he decided to start there of all places. "You're doing better than you think. Just do what feels natural."

He slowly raked his teeth over the same spot he'd just kissed. I let my eyes shut and I could feel a moan get caught in my chest, managing to stifle it until he gently bit down on the now sensitive skin. I felt my back arch causing our chests to brush briefly.

He suddenly pulled away, concern gracing his features. "Are you okay? Did I bite down too hard? I'm sorry, I suck at this."

"Carl! You're doing fine. So, what if you suck at foreplay, you've never had practice, and that's the only way to get better at something. Stop worrying about me, I'll tell you if something hurts. Okay? Just…trust your body."

"This is all so new to me…"

"We can stop whenever you wa- well I guess you don't want to stop." He tore off his plaid shirt and t shirt before I could finish my sentence and for the first time, I was able to lay my eyes upon his lean frame. He was as pale as freshly fallen snow which contrasted nicely with his pinkish nipples.

After he tossed his clothes into the corner, he looked down at me, almost hungrily. "Like what you see?"

"I do indeed." I slowly reached up let my hand trail from the middle of his chest to the waistband of his pants before hooking my finger in his belt loop and pulling him towards me. "Let me show you how it's done."

I pushed him back slightly before sitting in his lap with my legs hooked around his back. I placed a few gentle kisses on his neck before nipping at his nape. "Ah, fuck that feels…that feels good."

I lapped at the now bruised skin on his neck, letting the air cool it a bit. The sudden sensation sent shivers down Carl's body. I moved my hands to his back and slowly raked my nails downwards. "Ya like that?" I whispered into his ear.

"A little. I really liked it when you kissed my neck. That felt really good."

"I can make you feel even better."

"R-really?"

"Carl, I haven't even moved passed your neck yet. If me kissing your neck feels that good…imagine what else I could do that would make you feel good." I shot him a sultry smile before running my fingers through his hair.

"I…I don't know how far I want to go…"

"Do you…want to kiss me?"

He paused for a second, apparently pondering my query. "I think so."

"Carl…"

"I do!"

"It's okay, Carl. You don't have to." I felt kind of sad that he was so unsure and that we'd be stopping here but I couldn't force him. I didn't want to force him. If he wanted to kiss me, I'd want him to be sure and not hesitate.

As I climbed off him and tried to walk away, he grabbed my wrist. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be."

"I want to please you I'm just…scared."

"I understand; you're not used to being in situations like this. You've probably been told stuff about being with girls but never with a guy. I won't force you to do anything, I want _you_ to do it and be certain."

"Tay…I'm sorry."

"I told you it's okay. Can't be helped."

I shot him a reassuring smile but inside I was breaking apart. I don't know why or how someone I had literally known for three days could have so much of an impact on my life but it had happened. I had no idea when I had become so attracted to him, no idea when I'd become so attached, no idea when my feelings of desire manifested themselves, but they were here, they had been put on display and while he didn't out right reject me, his uncertainty hurt almost as much.

"So uh…wanna listen to music or something?"

 **Carl POV**

Tokyo Narita. That's the name of the song he played that night. It was a soft, steady song. One that doesn't really jump out at you with an upbeat, catchy tone. It's the kind of song you listen to at night or during a rain storm.

I listened carefully to the words, occasionally glancing over at Harl- I mean Tay, as he stood in the corner, peering out the window. 'Now we're at the vogue party and the whole thing's catered. So, we said that we'd leave early and get some pizza later. But my hands go down your jeans and you distract the waiter, until we take it somewhere better like the elevator.'

He said this song was one of his favorites. Why? He seems like the upbeat type, the one who'd dance in the middle of the room at parties, the one to command attention as soon as they walked into a room, the energetic one in a group of people. 'And in those weeks, you fuckin' lost it 'cause you just wrote 'crazy'. And it seems like you never listen and I hate you lately…' As soon as that line came over the speakers, I saw his eyes narrow a bit. Not like he was mad, but like that line hit him the hardest.

I couldn't take my eyes off him for the longest time that night. I still remember everything about it: his face being bathed in the moonlight, how imposing he looked with his rifle in his hands, but what keeps coming back to me is that slight twitch of his eyes. It was brief but it spoke a thousand words that he had yet to say.

After that I only watched him for a minute or two…the song drew to a close and silence had filled the air until he spoke. It was a short sentence. 'Turn it off.' He didn't even glance at me when he spoke. Had I really hurt him that much?

That was a week ago. I've felt a change in him since then. I feel different around him, like things are awkward, like he hates being around me. He has been pushing me harder in training, not that I mind but it feels different. He doesn't joke as much as he used to, I've barely seen him smile, and he seems to keep his distance from me. Did I ruin things between us?

"Straighten your legs. When you fully extend your kicks. Your flexibility is lacking but your strength is improving. If you're going to kick, stay in your comfort range instead of trying to kick someone in the head."

"Got it." I tried to do as he said but apparently I did something wrong because he came over to me to adjust my stance.

"Kick like you intend to harm me." I did as he asked and he easily dodged my kick. "See that? A simple step backwards and it nullifies your kick. Again." I did as he asked but this time he countered me. "See, you aiming high like that gives me time to cover distance and attack you. You are also off balance. Aim here, and below." He said pointing to his midsection.

"Okay."

"Maybe this will help." He turned away from me and tossed a throwing knife into the wall. "That's about the height of an average person's midsection. If you aim your kicks there and below, you maximize your power without straining yourself. Thirty sidekicks with each leg. Ten above the knife. Ten at the knife. Ten just below the knife. Begin."

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk."

"I'll hurry and finish so I can g-"

"Alone."

"Oh…okay…I'll just…finish up here…do my punches after this and rest. Is there anything else I should do?"

"If you wish, you can review the first form I taught you or practice your solo weapons training. I'm leaving my bat here but taking the AR, my sidearm, and a knife. I should be back in 10 minutes. I'll knock twice like always."

"Right. See you in a bit."

"See ya…Be safe!" I called after him. I heard the door close shortly after. "Fuck…I really screwed up."

 **Tay POV**

I sat atop the same tree I had picked out a few days ago, picking off any zombies I saw stumbling about. My aim was better than ever. I only missed 2 out of every 10 shots. I was lining up another shot when memories of a week ago flashed to the forefront of my mind as I squeezed the trigger. I missed by a hair, barely winging the zombie's shoulder.

"Shit." I took aim again, this time putting a bullet in the center of its forehead. "Slim pickings today. Only 4 zombies out today." I leaned back against the tree trying and failing to improve my mood. "Let it go, Alvarez, he didn't say no, he's just confused." I told myself. It didn't help much but it distracted me for a few seconds.

"Well…better head back." I climbed down from the tree, slowly trudging towards the cabin. Upon arriving, I knocked twice before entering. "Carl, I need to talk to you."

He emerged from the kitchen, a towel draped around his bare shoulders. "What's up?"

I tried to act normal despite him being shirtless. "We need to think about moving. We're running low on resources and need to find a car."

"Yeah, I was gonna talk to you about that when you got back."

"We're leaving in 30. Be ready."

"Already am." I looked at him kind of bewildered.

"Good. Rest up and we'll get going."

I turned to head upstairs to rest a bit but Carl reached out and grabbed my wrist. "Are you okay?"

He looked directly in my eyes, which was a change of pace, usually he avoided locking eyes with me if he wanted to talk. "Not really." I answered truthfully.

"Thank you for being honest. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Honestly…yes and no."

He guided me into the living room and sat me down on the couch before taking a deep breath. "I can go first if you'd like."

"Please."

"Well…I've been thinking a lot about what I'm attracted to…I haven't really been all that into guys but I think that's because I wanted so badly to be into girls. It was normal. It was expected. It was supposed to be natural. But after that night…after reflecting on all the time we've spent together, I find myself questioning what I actually find appealing more and more. I thought the girl back at the prison was cute: blue eyes, blonde hair, nice body, helpful, smart, sweet. She seemed perfect. But I wasn't really into her because I was really attracted to her, it was more so…convenience, ya know? Everyone else was too old for me and I didn't really feel drawn to them."

"I get that…"

"Then we have you."

"This better be good."

"The day we met…it was actually a pretty decent day, aside from you putting a knife to my throat and the sleep paralysis. I tried to keep my distance but you're like a magnet. Your personality was so bright, and bubbly, and energetic. I also saw that you were nurturing, talkative, smart, intuitive, and a million other things. But most of all you seemed happy. Despite being in this shitty world, you were always smiling. It was weird. Even when we were all at peace at the prison, no one really smiled."

"I like the praise."

"Then there was your flirting. I couldn't tell if you were into me or just being cute. The day I saw you shirtless was the first time I felt even remotely drawn to a guy. I saw how defined your body was and I liked it, it kind of…aroused me…" He said shyly. "The night you held me…I didn't feel sexual desire for you…I felt the need to be closer to you, the need to be near you. And it was actually nice…and that scared me. Being attracted to you scared me and I was fighting it for a while…then what happened a week ago has me so confused…I want to like you. I want to be into you. But I don't know if it's because I'm lonely or because I actually care for you that way…"

That line hit a bit hard…I thought he did care about me but I could see where he was coming from. "I understand…I really do. After that night I felt rejected but I knew you were just figuring shit out…it's just…last time that someone was 'figuring things out' it ended horribly for me."

"Fuck…Tay I'm sorry, you know I'm not them. You know that, don't you?"

He reached out for my shoulder but I shied away. "I know that…it hurts just the same though."

"Tay…"

"We should get going." I got up from the couch and quickly made my way upstairs.

"Tay! Please come talk to me."

I didn't listen to him, I just went upstairs and grabbed our bags and weapons. I was about to go back downstairs but took a moment to compose myself. I trot down the stairs and see Carl, fully clothed, standing by the door. I hand him his bag before shrugging mine onto my shoulders and stepping towards the door.

"Tay…"

"Yes?" He placed his hand on my cheek and slowly leaned in towards me. His lips were so close to touching mine but at the last possible second I turned away. "You're doing it out of pity. I can tell."

I moved passed him and started walking down the path back towards the road. I was halfway down the path when I heard the door shut and footsteps coming up behind me. Carl stayed a few paces away from me; I could feel the tension looming between us and I wanted to dispel it but I saw the same look in his eyes that I'd seen in Andrew's…I saw pity. He didn't truly want to kiss me; he was trying to give me what I wanted.

We'd been walking for a few hours and according to the signs we were about a mile off from the highway. If we made it there we could find a car and if we didn't find that worked today, we could just campout in one of them and start fresh tomorrow.

"Walker on your right." I took out my bat, making quick work of the menial threat. "You've still got some sweet moves with your bat."

"Thank you." I could tell he was trying to make conversation but part of me wished he wasn't.

"Even though it's been a week, you've still got it."

"I have been using this thing for a while so that doesn't shock me."

"Right…you always were pretty skilled with that thing."

"Thanks. You've gotten better with the baton."

"Re-really? Thanks. I learn from the best."

I looked back at him and smiled sincerely. "Thanks." He smiled back at me and I nodded, telling him to catch up to me. He did so eagerly, gently nudging me with his shoulder. We kept walking and after a few minutes I felt his hand find mine before he interlaced our fingers as we walked. I stole a glance, looking for any sign of ulterior motives but he was just looking down at his feet with a shy smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile too. He was trying and that was good enough for me.

The sun had started to set a little while ago and was bathing, the sky in pink and dark purple. It was a pleasant sight. I stood atop the roof of a car scouting the area for any threats. I killed a couple of zombies while I was on watch but so far nothing major had come our way. Carl was inside the car I was standing on top of, resting for a bit.

"See anything?"

"Nope. Just a few zombies. Nothing major." I hopped down from the car, taking a seat in the one across from Carl. "There's an RV up the road we could sleep in tonight." He nodded, looking in the direction I was looking. "Still mad at you." I said with a smirk.

"What? Why?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Okay…honestly, I didn't like how you tried to kiss me just to make me feel better. If you want to kiss me, I want you to want to. I want you to do it out of sincerity and be genuine. I'd want you to cup my cheek, look into my eyes, and slowly lean in…something along those lines…and I don't want to see what I saw in your eyes again."

"I'm sorry…I really was trying to help."

"I appreciate it. But how you went about it was wrong."

"Understood." He looked down and the rest of his face vanished under the brim of his hat.

"Hey." I said as I reached out and tilted his chin up. Our eyes met and I smiled softly at him. "Take off your hat."

"O-okay." He did so and no sooner had he placed his hat in the front seat of the car, was I leaning in towards him. "What are you doing?!"

I simply pressed my lips to his forehead, effectively silencing him. After I pulled away I smiled down at him before wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug. Our combined weight sent him toppling over into the back seat. He wrapped his arms around me, cradling the back of my head.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to…I just…coming to terms with new and strange feelings is…weird. I'm still trying to grasp the concept of a relationship so…be patient with me please?"

I laid there, pressed against his chest, soaking in his words. I could feel the sincerity dripping from every word he said. It didn't take me long to reach a decision but I just wanted to lie there, feeling his soft hair brush against my cheek, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, and feeling the dull thudding of his heart beating in his chest.

"Okay…I suck at being patient but somethings…" I pulled away to look at him "Somethings are just worth the wait."

We both smiled at each other, basking in the tender moment. Unfortunately, it was short lived because not even a minute later I was being yanked out of the car by my collar, with a sword being swung at my face.


	4. Squad Up

Chapter Four: Squad Up

"Shit!" I blocked the sharpened blade with my left gauntlet before kicking my hooded attacker in the back of the knee then in the stomach, sending them into the door. I sprung to my feet, drawing the baton and aiming it towards the unknown hostile entity.

They blocked, their blade pressing back against my baton. I braced my baton with the back of forearm, trying to pin them on their back but they went around my guard and tried slicing from an angle. I leaned back, unwillingly going into a backhand spring. After righting myself, I saw that they were charging towards me; I had a short time to counter when their blade began slashing at me. I blocked strike after strike with my gauntlets, this swordsman knew how to use their blade decently well, they even went after my legs and didn't attack in a wild flurry of strikes. There was no pattern for me to interpret, all I could do was pick my moment and strike.

I sidestepped one of their strikes, using my right arm as a secondary line of defense just in case, and elbowed them in the face twice before ducking under their next strike. As I stood up, the assailant kicked me in the back of my left thigh, making me falter and drop to my knee. I dove out of the way of their downward slash before sweeping their legs out from under them. They quickly did a roll and were back to their feet.

'This person is actually pretty good. I actually have to use some skill to keep up with them.' I charge in, guarding with my left and launching a back fist after their attempt at stabbing through me. My back fist missed and I almost caught a knee to the gut but shifted just in time. I used our new positions to toss them onto their back. Their hood flew off when they landed and I finally got a good look at their face.

She was a young-looking woman, no older than 30, long dreadlocks pushed back by a headband. She had a hardened look in her eye, she looked like a mother bear defending her cub. It didn't matter, she attacked me first and now she was about to die.

"STOP IT!" I hear Carl yell from behind me.

My attacker took this chance to spring to her feet and swing at me again. I countered with my baton but it was knocked out of my hand and into a nearby car. I proceeded to use the cars around me to my advantage; the close quarters meant her range of motion was limited and when she only had one direction to strike from, I readied myself.

"PLEASE. BOTH OF YOU STOP!" Carl sounded frantic but with this next move, this fight would be more in my favor.

As she swung towards my left side, I blocked again, but I brought up my right arm, and braced it against the dull side of her sword. I was prepared to shatter the blade with no remorse when Carl called out once again.

"TAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!" That got through to me. I stopped dead in my tracks. I kept the sword locked between my forearms in case this swordswoman got any ideas. Carl put himself between the woman and I, facing me with a desperate look in his eyes. "Please…both of you stop…"

"Carl what are you doing?" I asked intensely.

"You know him?" The woman behind him asked, looking down at Carl.

"You know her?" I questioned.

He looked over his shoulder at her before looking back at me. "Michonne…please…put the sword down. I will explain everything when you two calm down."

I looked up at the woman before looking back at Carl. I could feel my features soften as my lock on the sharpened blade relaxed. "Alright?" I questioned the woman.

"Alright." She retorted. She looked down at Carl and sternly says "Start explaining, runt."

"Runt?"

After about 45 minutes of explaining, Michonne and I finally had a slightly better understanding of each other and our connection to Carl.

"So you two were at the prison together. Okay, that explains how you know him."

"And you two have been traveling together for almost two weeks."

"Yeah…he had the chance to kill me when I passed out in a house a few miles from here, he tried to leave instead but I woke up and…well I told you…"

This woman had a weird effect on Carl. He had his head down whilst sitting beside her, he seemed tense. I couldn't help but glare up at her. "What's with that look?"

"Carl seems uncomfortable."

"I'm fine! I swear." He pleaded.

We both looked at him and simultaneously said "You're a terrible liar."

We looked at each other then back at Carl. "What's wrong? You can tell us."

"You two just tried to kill each other. Two people I care about just tried to kill each other…over me…"

"Carl…"

"I thought you were in danger. I just saw you falling backwards into the car and…"

"You proceeded to manhandle me and try to spill my blood all over the street and any surrounding cars."

"Hmph, you say that like it was as easy as breathing. You put up a hell of a fight, you were about to break my sword."

"I thought you were a threat to both of us, besides, when I fight to protect someone I care for, I fight ten times harder."

She sighed heavily. "Admirable, but as you can see, Carl and I are clearly familiar with each other."

"Yeah, we were close at the prison."

Michonne patted his head before chuckling a bit. "You were such a little shit."

Carl laughed a bit harder than I expected him too. "Shut up, I was not."

"Whatever you say."

I stood up abruptly. "We should find someplace to sleep. I'll take first watch when we do."

Carl looked at her and nodded. "Okay then. If Carl trusts you, I suppose I can trust you enough not to shoot us in our sleep."

"It's a start. I saw an RV up the road that we can crash in. High enough for me to see for a mile or two, enough room for sleeping."

"Sounds good, Tay. I'll get our things." Carl started walking back over to the car we were in, leaving Michonne and I alone.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" She asked me sternly.

"Learned from a master back in college."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

"Fits…I pegged you for 19 or 20."

"I look older when I don't shave."

"I bet. So…how long have you been a fighter."

"Metaphorically speaking, all my life. In terms of being trained, about three and a half years. I was a blue belt before the world went to shit."

"Language."

"Excuse you, I'm an adult."

"I'm still older than you, respect your elders, didn't your mother teach you that?"

For an instant I felt my anger flare. "My mother taught me to respect those who respect you, regardless of age." I glared down at her, trying to suppress the anger boiling inside me. "Don't you speak of a woman you know nothing about ever again, or else we will have problems. Are we clear?"

She leered up at me before smirking. "Crystal."

"Got our things, let's get moving." Carl said cheerily as he trotted over. He looked back and forth at the looks on our faces and his smile vanished. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Michonne lied.

"We were talking and she brought up something she shouldn't have. Admittedly, she didn't know. But now she does." I looked back at her. "This is something minor enough to be honest about. Don't lie to him about small things." I took my bag from Carl before patting him on the shoulder and nodding towards the direction of the RV. "Let's get going."

 **Carl POV**

"Michonne, he's not a bad guy I promise. He's been looking out for us, teaching me how to fight, he's done so much for me in the 2 weeks we've been together and I can't really picture him not being near me. Can you please at least give him a chance?"

She sat silently on the seat near the window, listening intently to my plea for, at the very least, civil behavior. She kept her gaze fixed on a spot in front of her. "You really trust him that much?"

"He's saved my life twice. Four times if you count him not killing me when he had the chance. He soothed me to sleep when I had a fit of sleep paralysis, held me when I started thinking too much, stuck with me when I hurt him…I trust him more than I thought I would anyone else after the prison fell."

She sighed heavily, thinking for a moment. "I'll try. I'll give him a chance."

"Thank you. You'll see, he's a good person."

"We'll see." Things got a tad quiet, I just heard Tay padding around on the top of the RV. "I have a difficult question to ask you."

"Is this about dad?"

"Where is he?"

 **Tay POV**

I heard the door to the RV swing open a few hours later. I looked down and saw Michonne. She peered up at me before jerking her head away from the RV, telling me to come down. I climbed down the side of the vehicle, coming to a stop in front of her.

"Let's go for a walk."

"A walk as in 'Round 2' or a walk as in we're talking in private?"

"The latter."

"What about Carl?"

"We aren't going far." She began walking without me. I caught up to her, waiting for her to speak. "He cares about you."

"I can see that."

"So you know not to do anything to hurt him."

"Of course."

"Do you know why he cares so much?" She asked stopping in her tracks.

I turned to look at her. I noticed her face was sullen and she had a tone of seriousness in her voice. "It probably has something to do with why he was alone and tired when I found him. I never dug into why because it seemed too recent and too painful for him to discuss so I left it alone. I decided to spend my time making him feel better."

"He just talked to me about it."

"Is he okay?!" I started to walk back towards the RV at a quick pace but her voice stopped me.

"He's asleep. He needs some rest."

"Agreed…Look, we both care about him, he cares about us. I'm willing to put aside the little scrape we had a few hours ago if you are. No need to go turning on each other if we don't have to." I extended my hand towards her. "Truce?"

She looked at my hand then at me before grasping it firmly. "Truce."

"Is…is he okay? Emotionally?"

"Not really. He's still torn up about what happened."

"All I know is that the prison fell…people he cared about died…I don't know who but I was going to let him tell me in his own time."

"That would be best."

"I'm worried about him…I see flashes of what happened to him in his eyes and I want to help so much but he…"

"Give it time."

I looked back at her trying to get my emotions under control. "Okay…"

We walked back to the trailer after agreeing that Michonne would be on watch for the next few hours, giving us time to sleep. I handed her Carl's AR before going inside the RV. Just as she said, Carl was asleep. He was curled up on the bed in the back of the RV, sleeping soundly from what I could tell. I slowly walked towards him, kneeling when I reached him. I brushed hair out of his face, smirking slightly at how peaceful he looked.

"I was wondering when you were going to come in." He said, scaring me a bit.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I pretended to be asleep so Michonne would give me a bit of space."

"You okay?"

"Not really…Michonne and I talked about some heavy stuff and I'm still feeling the after effects of it."

"Want me to sit with you?"

"Can we…can we…umm…"

"Sure." I slid into the bed behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He scooted further into the groove of my body, letting out a relief filled sigh.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

After a few minutes I felt Carl's body relax completely and shortly after that, I could tell he was sound asleep. I was drifting off myself when I heard the door to the RV open. I drew my gun and pointed it at the intruder just to realize it was Michonne. She looked kind of shocked and I didn't think it was because I pointed a gun at her.

"I'm not going to question it. You got him to fall asleep for real and he looks comfortable, so I'll let it slide."

"Were you just checking on us?"

"Yes. I figured he wasn't asleep and you could get him to fall asleep so I lied and let you talk to him."

"Not very good at building trust, are we?"

"I do what I must, it was…mutually beneficial I see."

"You're an asshole."

She smirked sincerely before walking back out of the RV. "You're welcome."

Geeze, she's a shrewd one. I looked down at Carl, gently brushing his hair behind his ear. I guess it all worked out.

The next morning, I awoke still curled up with Carl. I tried to enjoy the nice feeling but it was short lived. Michonne was bidding us to awaken and get moving while we had a lot of daylight left. I woke Carl up with a kiss to the temple and a slight shake. After eating, we made our way up the highway, taking occasional breaks as the day went on. I noticed something though…Carl seemed happier than he had been recently. He and Michonne were cracking jokes and messing around like they'd known each other forever. I liked seeing him happy but I also felt a bit jealous.

It was an all too familiar feeling but I kept telling myself that they were just friends. Michonne was probably old enough to be his mother or something. Unfortunately for me, logic rarely overrode my emotions. I picked up on that years ago and tried my best to control it but I sucked at it.

Me handling their close relationship only got worse at the day went on; I took any opportunity I got to try and impress them both. If a few zombies appeared, I would 'dazzle' them both with a playful disposal of the undead threat. Normally I'd get a nod of approval before they started walking again but once I turned around to see them not even paying attention.

As we neared the end of the highway, we started checking cars that we thought might work. By this time, I was feeling like shit. I felt like Carl didn't need me anymore. I knew in my head it wasn't true but what I was seeing and what I was feeling overruled my logical thoughts.

"FOUND ONE!" Carl shouted as he started up an old sedan.

"Great. I'll drive."

"Good job, Carl." I tried to sound happier than I was but I fell a bit short.

He looked at me quizzically before taking my hand and leading me away from the car. "Are you okay? You seem kinda down."

I put on my best fake smile before responding. "I'm fine. Just a tad tired is all."

"You sure?"

I hated lying to him but I couldn't tell him what I was thinking. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"If it's about Michonne, she's great once you get to know her."

I can tell, they seemed friendly enough with each other, which was sort of the problem. "I'm sure she is. Just still getting over the whole trying to kill each other thing."

He gently squeezed my hand. "I figured. If it's any consolation, you put up a great fight, Harley." He cooed slyly.

It did kinda make me feel better. "Thanks, Puddin'." I draped my arms around his shoulders before pressing our foreheads together. His hands found my hips soon after. He timidly applied light pressure to them, I smirked a bit at how nervous he was.

"Hey love birds, let's get a move on."

"Mi-Michonne! Jesus! It isn't- uh." Carl sputtered.

"Shall we go?" I said chuckling a bit.

"Not much of a choice." Carl groaned.

In that moment we shared, I felt a lot better. Michonne ruined it and by doing so, a familiar realization set in: I was now second fiddle to Michonne. It was just like what I'd told Carl. Granted their relationship was not romantic in nature, it still made my heart ache the same.

"Shit."

We syphoned some gas from stalled cars by punching holes in fuel tanks before we started driving. Michonne and Carl were in the front seat laughing about something and I was in the back seat looking at my phone. The battery was at 79%, no signal as always, brightness all the way down, power-savers running, and the only app open was my calendar app. Tomorrow was a special day and it would also be as sad one but I had made up my mind and nothing was going to stop me.

We drove until the sun had started to set, at that point we started looking for a place to sleep for a bit. I noticed that as we drove we had crossed out of Kansas and into Colorado. That was something at least, we were in a new state and I was inching ever closer to California.

"Hey, that looks like a good place to stop."

"A hotel? Really?"

"Well it's not like it's a 30-story hotel that we'd have to clear."

"We're not stopping there. We'll pass through this town and find a secluded house to hole up in for the night."

"Fine. You okay with that, Tay?"

"Yeah, it's e better idea than staying in a hotel."

"Alright then. It's decided."

We drove for another 45 minutes or so before Michonne pulled into a long, winding driveway that led to a modest ranch style house. It appeared to be in good shape but then again looks can be deceiving. We climbed out of the car quietly before making our way up to the front door. Before Michonne tried the knob I nodded towards the rear of the house, trotting off by myself. I calmly counted to three before tearing through the back door with my bat in my hand. I instantly alerted the undead I could see that I was there and had to get serious, there were at least six.

The first was a child, I hated to do it but it was them or me and with a clean swing, the now decapitated body fell to the floor. I heard Michonne and Carl try to breach the front door but it was barricaded from the inside.

"Well isn't this just peachy." I ducked under another attacking zombie kicking it out the door I had just come through. I disposed of another with an upwards swing and before it dropped I kicked it backwards into another pair of zombies. I leapt on top of the pile of zombies and as I bashed one of their heads in, I felt something heavy using my back as a vault table. I looked up and saw Carl land on one of the last zombie's heads before carving through another's skull with the baton. One more rounded a corner and we both swung for it, our weapons colliding in the middle of its skull.

"I see I wasn't needed." Michonne said as she sauntered into the house, stepping over the freshly lain corpses. "We can toss the bodies off the drop off behind the house after we finish clearing it. I'll take the basement, you two finish this floor."

"Got it."

We finished clearing the house and disposed of the bodies before putting things in the bedrooms. Michonne, surprisingly, let Carl and I share a room. I sprawled out on the bed, enjoying the feeling after a long day. I wanted nothing more than to pass out for a few hours and try to dispel the emotions cluttering my heart.

My calm state was short lived when Carl pounced on top of me excitedly. "Hey, you wanna spar? We can show off to Michonne, show her how good of a teacher you are." After such a long day, I normally would have objected but I made an exception.

"Sure. Weapons or bare hands?"

"Bare hands. But no coaching, I sink or swim on my own."

"Deal. Go get her and we can duke it out in front of the house."

"You're the best!" He said eagerly as he dismounted me and ran out of the room.

"The best huh? Sure…"

I climbed out of the bed before making my way outside. Michonne was close behind me, being dragged along by Carl. "Is this necessary? I already know he can fight."

"But he started teaching me! I can kick ass too."

"Language."

"Heh, sorry." Carl looked at me before doing the bow I taught him. I showed the same kindness by bowing back and readying myself.

"You sure you don't want me to coach you?"

"Positive. I'm going to do my best."

"That's the spirit."

Michonne leaned against the railing to the porch, crossing her arms and smirking. "This should be good."

I locked eyes with Carl one last time before shouting "Begin!"

We timidly stepped forward and once he was in range, I did a sliding step to close a bit of distance before unleashing a quadruple combination kick. I'd never done something that was so difficult to counter before when we trained but I was going to push him this time. I started off with a low kick, followed up with a high kick, then a mid-kick. He successfully dodged the low kick by raising his leg, the high kick he ducked under, and the mid-kick he barely got his guard up. My final kick, a hook kick, caught him by surprise and he took the hit on the chin.

Michonne looked like she wanted to jump in but Carl wasn't fazed. He came back in with a flurry of fast punches, he managed to tag me once before I backed off a bit. He ignored a rule I instilled in him early on: Do not pursue. He ran after me and aimed a punch directly at me but I managed to catch him in a shoulder lock before tossing him away from me. He rolled as he was thrown and got right back to his feet. I mentally applauded him for remembering that.

I charged at him as he tried to do a spinning hook kick. I countered at the same time with one of my own and did something I'd yet to teach him: I used the force generated by my kick to stop his momentum and in a smooth movement, I delivered a kick to the back of his supporting leg's knee. He dropped immediately but rolled a couple of times to get out of the way and recover.

I was on him before he could get steady on his feet, launching a kick towards his body. Instead of blocking, he decided to grab my leg and put it in a lock. I had to admit it was clever, but not clever enough. I rotated and threw a kick at the back of his head with my heel. Now he had to either decide to take another kick to the face or duck out of the way. He picked the latter, opting to drop my leg and roll out of the way.

I landed in a crouched position and upon looking up, Carl was charging at me. He stopped short and tried to deliver a brutal axe kick but I countered with a soft high x block above my head and used his momentum to redirect it, throwing him off balance before I swept his supporting leg out from under him. The second he hit the ground, I put him in an arm bar. He knew he was beaten because the only ways he could get out of it would be to pick me up and slam me to the ground or to try and use a pressure point but if he tried that, I could pop his bicep.

Through ragged breathing he admitted his defeat. "I concede."

"Well damn Carl, you can fight."

I released him before helping him up. "That was great, you did so well. This was your best session yet. You actually landed a solid punch on me AND got me into a leg lock. Granted, you ignored my rule of do not pursue, you still did incredibly well. Are you okay though? I know I kicked you earlier but I tried to dial down the powe-"

He cut me off by raising his hand between us. He took a step backwards before bowing. I quickly mirrored him, smiling the entire time. "I'm fine. I managed to deck you once and put you in a lock, plus now Michonne knows I can actually fight." He plucked a few leaves out of my hair before patting my cheek. "Now let's go eat, I'm starved."

After getting cleaned up and eating, Michonne decided to be on watch duty while we rested up. Carl and I were in bed together, just enjoying one another's company but I couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow. In just a few hours everything would be different.

"Hey. You asleep?"

"No, why?"

"Can we listen to a couple of songs?"

"Sure. I'll let you pick."

After turning on my phone, I handed it to Carl, letting him scroll through my music library for a few minutes before he selected something I hadn't expected him to pick. The smooth, melodic sound of the stringed instrument wafted through the speakers before the vocals began. 'Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest.'

"Red Like Roses, huh."

"Do you not like it?"

"I love the song; I just didn't expect it is all."

"Tell me how it makes you feel."

I shut my eyes and listened to the song as it played. "Well the first portion that actually has lyrics makes me feel so calm and peaceful. I feel like the singer is describing the traits of one person or describing four different people. Then the rest of the song makes me feel like I'm in battle and taking on a bunch of enemies with ease. What about you?"

"Well…it was calming and I felt safe when the singer described the four people. I felt like they were guardians of different aspects of people…then as it progressed it kinda got lost…but I like it."

As the song drew to a close, I saw Carl was eager to pick another one. "I like your interpretation."

He blushed a bit and it got worse when I heard his next selection. 'How can I decide what's right, when you're clouding up my mind?' My eyes widened as all the memories attached to that song flooded back to the forefront of my mind.

"Carl…"

"I know. I remember what you told me but I wanted to try and help you reclaim this song, maybe make some new memories to it."

"Carl…please." He took my hand in his before placing his head next to mine.

"Look at me. You're okay. It's me and you. Me. And. You." 'How did we get here? When I used to know you so well.'

I felt tears brimming in my eyes and as they started to fall, as I started to slip back into what consumed me years ago, I felt something that stopped me from falling. Carl pressed his lips to my forehead, forming a sort of tether that connected us. I was now grounded in the present with him and I didn't feel as anxious as I did when the song started.

'I'm screaming, "I love you so!" On my own. My thoughts you can't decode.' "I'm here with you." He reassured me. I felt better as the song drew to a close until the last words were sung. My heart dropped when I applied them to what I'd be doing tomorrow. 'Ooh, there is something, I see in you. It might kill me. I want it to be true.' "Tay?"

"I'm okay…can we just stay like this for a bit?"

He wordlessly brought my head to his chest, allowing me to just be. I breathed in his scent and felt his heart beating evenly in his chest. I took a deep breath enjoying the subtle scent of a pine forest during a rain storm mixed with a tiny bit of musk. It was unique and it was his. I let it soak into my memory before pulling away to look up at him.

"Wanna sleep?"

I simply nodded before shutting off my phone and getting into our typical, at this point, sleeping positions. I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him a bit tighter than I normally did, and feeling him push back into me. The room was silent for a while before I heard Carl say "Tomorrow, I'll tell you why I was alone when you found me."

That's everything. I zipped up my bag and slung it over my shoulders before grabbing my bat and rifle. I looked down at Carl who was still sleeping soundly. His hair was messily strewn about the pillow under him, his mouth slightly open; he looked so peaceful and at ease. I hated what I was about to do but I felt like it was best.

I placed the note I'd written for him next to my phone, on top of the pillow beside him. I took one last look at his sleeping form before exiting the room and silently making my way out of the house. Light was barely creeping over the horizon, dousing everything with the first vibrant rays of a new day. It was bright enough to see but dark enough to move without detection, from a distance at least.

"Going somewhere?" Michonne asked from behind me.

"Yes, but it doesn't concern you."

"It concerns Carl, which concerns me."

"You're not going to stop me."

"Just tell me why."

"It's better for him this way, he'll be happier with you."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I've seen how you two are, he needs someone like you more than someone like me."

"Someone like you?"

I finally turned to face her before continuing my tirade. "He doesn't need a romantic interest right now. Especially when he's still trying to figure out who he is and what he wants. He needs someone like you, a role model, a parental figure. You're better for him in the long run. He needs someone to keep him grounded and focused…I'm afraid I'll become a liability. _That_ is my reasoning."

"I can't force you to stay. All I can do is hope that you'll be safe out there."

"Keep him safe for me…even if our paths never cross again, keep him safe."

"I will."

"Promise me."

Michonne looked at me intently for a moment before stepping down off the porch and extending her hand towards me. "I promise." I shook her hand firmly before walking down the driveway towards the road. "Take care of yourself." She shouted.

"You too." I'm sorry Carl, but this is for the best.

 **Carl POV**

I felt a bit cold when I woke up. Usually if Tay and I fell asleep together I'd feel the warmth of his body but today I felt cold…I slowly opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the dimly lit room. "Tay?" No answer. "Harley?" Still no response. "I swear if you're still sleeping Michonne is gonna be mad-" I let my hand drift behind me and felt that his side of the bed was empty. I slowly sat up, looking around the room for him. I noticed his things weren't in the room and as I got up, I noticed the note on the pillow next to his phone.

"What the hell?" I unfolded the note and began to read it. ' _Carl, I know that this is a fucked up way to do this but I couldn't face you. I couldn't stand seeing your heart break through those beautiful eyes of yours. I'm a coward and I'm sorry but I had to leave. Michonne is a way better influence on you than I could ever be. I saw how much of a bond you two share and as jealous as I was, I think she would be better company than I was. I'm doing this because I care for you and want what's best for you. Remember to keep training. I left my phone and charger with you as a way to remember me. With much love, Harley Quinn. P.S. Happy Birthday.'_

"Hey Carl, are you up? I need to-" Michonne stopped talking the second she saw me standing at the bedside with the note in my hand, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Shit…Carl…I'm sorry. He left this morning. I tried to convince him to stay but his mind was already made up."

"Why didn't you stop him!? Why didn't you force him to stay?!"

"Would you have wanted me to fight him? To injure him so he would be _forced_ to stay? Then what? Hmm? Then what would you have done?"

"I…would have talked him out of leaving! He didn't need to go, Michonne! He could have stayed; we could have…"

"You could have what, Carl?"

I crumpled the note in my hand before clamping my eyes shut. "We could have been happy together…" I whispered more to myself than Michonne.

"I'm sorry that he's gone. I know he meant a lot to you and he was a good person from what I saw…I wish I could take the pain away but I can't."

"He filled the void…he helped me get over what happened and now he's gone."

"Is that his phone?" I looked up at the pillow where his phone and charger were resting and nodded. "Turn it on."

"Why?"

"Just a hunch."

I picked up the small device before powering it on. As soon as the lock screen appeared, I was on the verge of tears once again. The lock screen was a picture of him kissing my temple as I slept. I unlocked the phone and saw that the home screen was a picture of us when we were back at the cabin. We were both smiling and laughing as the afternoon sun was beating down on us. It was a great picture that I'd honestly forgotten all about.

"Damn it."

Michonne walked over, looking down at the phone with me. "That's cute. You guys really made each other happy…I'm sorry Carl. I'll give you a minute."

She exited the room, leaving me to stew in my feelings of rejection and heart break. All I could think of is the time we spent together and how happy he made me. He was making me into a better person. He taught me how to fight, he allowed me to laugh again, he made me smile, he did so much for me in such a short period of time and now he was gone. I don't even know if I'll get to see him again.

I looked down at the phone in my hand, noticing the screen had gone dark. I pushed the lock button, feeling a mix of emotions upon seeing the picture of us again. I looked in the top right corner seeing that the battery was at a solid 68%. I unlocked the phone, taking one last look at the home screen before shutting it off and tucking it away in my pocket. "Some birthday this turned out to be…"

 **Tay POV**

"Take me high and I'll sing. Oh you make everything okay. We are one in the same. Oh, you take all of the pain away. Save me if I become…my demons. Save me if I become…my demons." I softly sang the familiar tune as I drove down the empty road in my freshly pilfered car. I'd gotten back into town and scavenged for supplies before testing out a few cars to see if they'd work. I got lucky and found a working coupe that had a decent amount of gas in the tank.

I'd been driving for a few hours and had almost no clue where I was, I just knew that I was nearing the border of New Mexico. I had thought that driving would help clear my head but it hadn't. It gave me more time to think about what I'd done and with each passing second I wanted to turn around and go back even more. I knew that doing so would be bad for me and bad for Carl so I kept driving.

After another hour or so I came across a pair of people walking in the middle of the road. They appeared to be women around my age, one caramel skinned, one a shade darker. One wore a purple bandanna and a matching tank top, dark blue jeans, and a flannel shirt wrapped around her hips. Her feet were clad in worn, jet black combat boots. The other wore a light pink shirt with a star on the back. She paired her shirt with khaki capris and dark brown shin high boots.

"Excuse me, ladies. I don't mean to be rude but can you please step aside."

They both slowly turned around and once I saw their faces, I slammed on the brakes. "Is that…"

"TAY!"

"BRITTANY!? CAMILLE!? YOU'RE BOTH OKAY!" I threw the car into 'park before turning it off and rushing out of the driver's seat. We all collided in a huge emotional heap, screaming and sobbing about how we thought we'd never see each other again. "I'm so happy you guys are still alive!"

"We are too; we knew you were tough enough to make it on your own but…we had our doubts."

"Reasonably so. This world is a shit show. Get in, we can talk in the car." We all piled into the car and zoomed off down the road.

"So, how've you been? You look great for someone we haven't seen in a month." Camille asked.

"Yeah, we had it kinda rough when we were out there but you look like you've been with another group."

"I…kinda was. I found this guy and we ended up sticking together. Then we ran into a friend of his…who…tried to kill me."

"WHAT!?" They both exclaimed.

"Calm down, I'm fine. She had good reasons behind doing so and we all stuck together for a couple days but I had to split."

"Why? Sounds like you had it good." Brittany chuckled.

"It's…complicated."

"Well, you're gonna tell us, right?" Brittany prodded.

"Brit, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to."

"I know…I'm just curious. A bitch hasn't had someone pour them some tea in ages. I'm parched."

"I'll tell you guys. Just…not now."

"Okay…that's fine. Well, we can catch you up on what's been happening with us."

"Sure. Go ahead." The pair proceeded to recant their experiences in our time apart as I drove but all I could think about was Carl and what he must be feeling. I could feel the gravity of my actions settling in my chest. I wanted to cry right then and there but I held it together. Barely.

We drove well passed nightfall, Camille and Brittany had fallen asleep an hour or so ago and I didn't want to wake them. I pulled alongside a viewing area that overlooked a town, putting the car in park and setting the emergency brake before climbing out of the driver's seat. I sat on the guard rail, looking at the starry sky and the town that was bathed in the bright rays radiating from the moon. I looked up at the moon, admiring it for the first time in ages. I used to look up at the sky, particularly the night sky, and feel the weight of the world melt away. The vastness of the dark expanse above me soothed me in a way. Seeing the twinkling lights in the distance gave me something to focus on that wasn't impending doom, or finding a place to sleep, or getting to California.

"Hey…you alright?" I heard Camille say as she approached me from behind.

I peered over my shoulder at her, smiling a bit. "Yeah, come sit with me."

She did as I instructed, opting to sit with her back against the guard rail instead of on top of it. "So."

"So."

"Wanna tell me what this mystery guy is like?"

"He was such a great guy: cute, kinda broody, gorgeous blue eyes that contrasted with his dark hair, always wore a sheriff's hat, shy, cute smile, about 2 or 3 inches shorter than me, so easy to provoke, damaged, but also really sweet."

"He sounds great. He got a name?"

"Carl."

"Like my chick from the museum!"

"Oh Jesus, Camille please no."

"He must be a precious angel like my chick."

"Your chick was a bully and you know it!"

"No clue what you're talking about."

I rolled my eyes before looking back out over the cliff. "Anyway, he was so broken when I found him. He was exhausted, I could tell he'd been through some shit and hadn't been sleeping well. So, our first night together, I took watch so he could sleep. He went through a fit of sleep paralysis followed by a panic attack. I calmed him down though."

"What did you make him focus on?"

"Me. I made him describe what I was wearing and what I looked like. He said I had pouty lips."

"You do."

"Shh…I know. After that I let him sleep on my lap and we spent the next day raiding the houses near us and that same day I saved his ass. One of them almost got him but it got a bat to the face before it could touch him. After that he had a rage fit. Something having to do with a promise he made to someone."

"Oh my…was he okay?"

"After reducing a zombie to a pile of bone and pulverized organs he seemed a bit better…I told him about Andrew and Almira…then we listened to music and I fell asleep on his lap. I feel like…when I told him how they treated me, we shared a moment. Like we both just wanted to make out for a while but I let it pass. We did end up cuddling together, which was the first of many times."

"Go on." Camille said enthusiastically.

"Well...I kinda pushed him to see if he actually liked me. At first I was just kidding around and being my usual flirty self but then…it got real. We were kissing each other's necks and I was going to go down on him to see if he'd like it but he was hesitant and I don't like hesitation. He was unsure…I had flashbacks to Andrew and I stopped. The week following that was awkward and I resorted to killing walkers to alleviate my stress and give myself space."

"Walkers?"

"Shit, did I say that? That's what Carl calls them."

"He rubbed off on you quite a bit, didn't he?"

"Yeah…he did. He tried to kiss me."

"WHAT!?"

"It was to get me to stop being mad at him in a sense…it was to make me feel better…it was out of pity. It wasn't genuine or sincere so I rejected the kiss and explained why I did. After that things were even more awkward but he tried to talk to me…and me being who I am, I forgave him. We ended up holding hands as we walked until we found the highway. After that we talked for a bit and I hugged him tight right before he asked me to be patient while he came to terms with the new things he was feeling. I agreed because some things are worth the wait."

"You're still a hopeless romantic, somethings never change." Camille said shaking her head.

"Hey, I didn't go looking for this one. It just sorta happened."

"What happened after that?"

"Michonne tried to kill me."

"Who did what?"

"Easy girl, she was someone he knew from the group he was with. She thought he was in trouble and came after me. Obviously, I'm okay. Carl stepped in right before I snapped her sword into pieces."

"You take way too many risks."

"You sound like Carl."

"It's the truth."

"What was I supposed to do? Get killed? Nah, son. I ain't going out like that."

We both chuckled and looked off into the distance for a moment before she spoke again. "So…why'd you leave?"

I hesitated for a moment, looking up at the sky once again. "A bit of self-preservation mixed with some 'it's for the best' and a lot of 'this is for him'."

"I see..." Camille looked over at me, analyzing me for a second or two before pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "You miss him don't you?"

"Yeah…a lot. It's only been a day but it feels like a life time."

"Well…you know what they say, 'if it's meant to be, they'll find you again'. If you two are really supposed to be together, you will find each other."

"You're right…it's just that…in a world of uncertainty…I wanted to be certain just this once."

Camille got up and drew me into a hug while rubbing my back. I felt another pair of arms wrap around us and figured it was Brittany. I felt so lucky to have two people in my life that I could talk to and depend on. I'd never appreciated them more than I did at this moment in time.


	5. Where the Light Won't Find You

Chapter Five: Where the Light Won't Find You

 **Carl POV**

"Carl, it's time." Michonne called from the doorway.

"Right…I'll be there in a second." I looked down at the phone in my hand a bit more intently. I was staring at the pictures of us once again, trying to pry myself away from the memories they held. I finally shut off the phone and grabbed my bag before tossing it in the back seat.

"How much battery life that thing got left?"

"40%" I said as I climbed into the driver's seat, shutting the door behind me.

"Wow, after this long I thought it would have died. You've taken great care of it."

"It's the only thing linking us together. That and the baton."

We sat in silence for a moment, my hands lightly gripping the wheel. "Hey…you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Just spacing out." I started the truck and proceeded down the street.

"Remember what I taught you."

"I got it."

Michonne looked over at me for a few seconds, giving me a onceover. "Your hair's gotten pretty long, maybe we should cut it. You wouldn't have to wear that ponytail holder anymore."

"NO! I mean, no, it's fine…" I didn't want to tell her that he had given me the hair tie as well.

"Alright then…You've been quite…withdrawn lately."

"I know…"

"His presence really impacted you, didn't it?"

"Yeah…I can't stop thinking about him."

"Well after what happened with Rick…I don't blame you." We sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. "They say people come into our lives when they need to…it's also said that if it's meant to be, it will be. So…if you two are meant to be in each other's lives, you will find each other again."

"I miss him…"

"Does that mean you've made up your mind about how you feel?"

"Yeah…the day he left decided it for me. There's no doubt in my mind, there hasn't been any doubt for a long time."

"Glad to see your resolve hasn't wavered."

We passed a sign that said 'Welcome to Ludlow' and I gunned it. Our destination was any city near the major ones, preferably near the coast. I didn't know where he'd go but I remembered he said he loved the water so that's where we were headed. I don't know why I was trying to find him but something in me refused to let him go without a fight. I would find him and I would make sure he never left me again.

"Carl."

"What?"

"Calm. Down."

I eased off the gas a bit, maneuvering around the deserted cars and walkers lumbering about the road. "Sorry. I got carried away."

"It's okay…Just don't do anything irrational. Think. You've been doing well at thinking things through as of late despite-"

"Despite what?"

"Despite being emotionally fractured." She stated flatly.

"I appreciate it…I think." As I drove, one song kept playing over and over in my head. It was the last song in the playlist that Tay apparently made me before he left. He titled it 'Dear Carl'. I liked all the music in the lineup but the song 'Ricochet' stuck with me. It described exactly how I felt when he left, it made me remember all the people I'd lost over the years, it made my resolve strengthen in everything I did.

I trained harder. I fought harder. I honed my skills. This entire time, instead of feeling broken and sorry for myself, I used the pain in my heart to drive me. I made sure that the next time we met, I'd show him how much he inspired me.

 **Tay POV**

"Alright, the city mom and I agreed on was near the coast. We should check there first."

"What city was it?" Camille questioned looking at the map we picked up in Nevada.

"Salinas. Don't know why she picked it but she did, and that's where we're headed."

"Shouldn't take us long to get there. According to this map, we're near Hollister."

"Wanna swing by the city and grab some overpriced shirts for 100% off?" Brittany quipped as she loaded our guns.

"After we get to her."

"Hey, Tay?" Camille started timidly.

"Yeah? What if…she's…ya know…"

"She isn't. She's tough. She raised me and look at how far I've come. From fucking Illinois to California, in one piece no less."

"You have a point. I hope she's okay."

"She is…I know she is…Alright, load up!" I helped Brittany load our gear into the back seat before hopping into the driver's seat. "You ladies ready?"

"As ready as we'll ever be." Brittany smirked as she chambered a round for her MP5K while Camille did one final check of our route.

"We're with you, 100%." They reassured me.

"Alright, let's get to it."

I drove down the hill that overlooked the city of Hollister, scanning for any threats. The streets were eerily quiet and desolate, no zombies, not people, nothing. I expected maybe a bird or something but there were no signs of life at all. I felt my stomach knot and unknot the further we pressed into the city.

"Anyone else getting a bad feeling about this?" Camille whispered nervously.

"You read my mind."

"This is…weird…even for a post-apocalyptic city." Brittany criticized.

I slammed on the brakes when I saw that the street ahead was barricaded with burned out cars and zombies skewered on sharpened poles. "Shit. It's a trap."

"What do we do?" Camille questioned.

"We stay calm. Remember the plan, we stick together. Are all of our guns loaded into a bag?"

"Yeah." They responded.

"Everyone got at least 2 on them with spare magazines?" They both nodded. "Good. Because if my hunch is correct, there are at least 20 hostiles waiting for us to panic and become disorganized. Worst comes to worst, we disperse and meet up just outside the city. Keep pushing towards Salinas."

"Got it."

"Code names from here on out." I said sternly as I slowly backed the car down the street. I saw an open space in front of a car near an old building and I decided that we'd bail out of the car and use it as cover until we got inside the building. "Follow my lead, stay close behind me."

I floored it into the space and no sooner did we stop did the people around us start firing. Camille and Brittany stacked up on the opposing side of the car and I dove out after them. I nodded towards the open door, making a break for it with the two of them close behind me. Once we were inside I looked at them, making sure that they were okay.

"You guys hit?" They did a quick once over before shaking their heads. "Good, we'll head up to the roof, you two go towards the barricade while laying down suppressing fire. I'll take out anyone I see with my rifle."

"Okay." Brittany responded firmly.

"Watch out for each other. GO!" We made a bee line for the roof and on our way up, we encountered two of the people who ambushed us. Without hesitation, I aimed my Px4 at the first person's head and as I squeezed the trigger, I heard two more resounding shots from behind me.

Two bodies hit the stairs like a ton of bricks. Camille and Brittany scavenged ammo from the bodies while I covered the door to the roof. I felt a firm pat on my shoulder and started moving into position immediately after.

The men on the other roof noticed we'd reached the top of the building and began firing at us. Camille and Brittany drew their attention and as soon as their heads poked out, I fired. It was quick. Four shots, four bodies. Three more men, distracted by my gunfire, turned their attention towards me but as soon as they did, Camille and Brittany unloaded on them.

In the spray of gunfire, Brittany and Camille managed to kill one and wound the other two. They kept moving and I was about to follow them but I was tackled to the ground. I was set to retaliate but the spot where we landed, which just so happened to be a hole in the roof covered by decaying wood, decided it'd collapse under our combined weight.

Thankfully we weren't that high up but falling to the ground level of the building still hurt like a bitch. I almost landed on my bat which could have been bad. I roll onto my stomach before pushing myself off the ground but before I can steady myself, I'm tackled, once again.

"Again with the tackling!" I barely managed to get out my smart mouthed remark before I get punched right in my smart mouth. My attacker lines up another punch but I move my upper body before he connects and put him in an arm bar, bringing my legs up and forcing him flat against the floor before snapping his arm.

He let out a bone chilling scream as I grated his shatter bones together. I eventually let him go, grabbing my bat from under a pile of wood but as I aim a finishing blow towards his head, he dodges. He keeps dodging all my swings until I back him into a corner. I smirk, knowing that I've won but I hear the all too familiar sound of a gun cocking.

"Don't. Move."

I let out a defeated sigh. "Fuck."

"You killed our brothers."

I glanced over to my left and saw a bar top and figured I could use it for cover. "Brothers? As in more than one? Jesus if all of you were brothers someone needs to tell you mom to close her legs." I figured that that would either piss him off enough to shoot at me or to try and hit me. Lucky for me, he chose the former. I dove out of the way and the bullet, intended for me, hit the shooter's brother in the chest.

"JOEY!"

I popped up from behind the bar, blowing my hair out of my face. "Wow, poor…Joey? Joey. First his brothers get killed then he's killed by his brother. Bad day for him huh?"

"I'm gonna kill y-" Before he could finish his sentence, I fired, firmly wedging a 9mm round between his brainstem and temporal lobe.

"No, you're not." I said shrugging my rifle onto my shoulder. I found my way out of the bar via a back exit and headed into the rocky out cropping behind it until I slid down a hill and ran off into the forest. "Hey! Stark! Cami-pie!" No response. "Fuck."

"Hey, I heard a voice from over there! Let's check it out!"

"Shit." I muttered to myself.

I booked it away from the voices and kept up a decent pace until I missed a step and fell off a well disguised overhang. It was only about 8 feet off the ground and I rolled when I landed so I wasn't hurt too badly, just a couple scrapes. I wanted to just wallow in my misfortune but I heard voices and multiple sets of footsteps. I looked at the overhang and looked at the tree line. I decided that if I hid and waited I could probably pick them off one at a time.

I scooted back into the alcove as much as I could, hoping my dark clothes would camouflage me enough, before I screwed on my suppressor to my Px4 and waited. After about ten minutes I heard someone above me.

"Shit!"

"What!? Find him?"

"No, almost face planted. He probably ran off into the trees, I see some crushed foliage."

"YOU HEARD HIM! KEEP MOVING!" I heard the two above me drop down and saw them run off into the trees before one more man dropped down and followed. Shortly after, I heard someone sliding down the embankment to the right of the drop off.

"Jesus, fucking track stars." The heavier set man came to rest in front of the alcove and I decided to seize the opportunity to take him down. I waited until he started walking again and when I saw his head, I lined up a shot and fired. He let out a small grunt before his body hit the dirt.

I crawled out of hiding, quickly making a run for the trees. I scaled one tree effortlessly and perched up on a high branch. Thankfully the trees were in such tight quarters that most of the branches and leaves were near the top, giving me perfect lines of sight for sniping.

"Just like with the zombies back in Kansas." I took aim at the man who was farthest behind the group and waited. I wanted something to cover the sound of my shot and luckily for me, a family of deer running by provided the perfect chance; I squeezed the trigger and the man dropped as the deer darted off into the forest.

"Fucking deer, always scaring people."

"You just scare easy. Keep going, you pussy."

"You're the pussy."

I aimed at the second man who was a few paces behind the one in the lead and fired. The sound of his body dropping alerted the last person so I had to make quick work of him. I fired another shot but missed by a hair.

"Shit." I fired again, nailing him in the knee then one last shot aimed at his head sealed his fate. "Damn I'm good." I scouted around for any more people; I saw no people and no zombies in the area so I descended from my perch and began to scavenge.

I only grabbed ammunition, food, and a fully automatic weapon before moving on. I made sure to clear the guns of any ammunition just in case someone found the bodies. Lucky for me, one guy had a compass on him and I remembered that Salinas was Northeast of Hollister so I headed in that direction.

"Well this is a fine mess I've gotten myself into…I hope the girls are alright. Brittany's tough and can protect Camille if she needs it, Camille is a top tier tactician and can fight better than most people think…they should be fine. Just gotta head for the coast. Keep moving towards the coast…"

 **Carl POV**

"You hear that?" I asked, turning my head in the direction of the sound.

"Gun fire."

"You think it might be him?"

"Maybe."

"That rifle fire sounded like his."

"There's a lot of PSG1's floating around the world, Carl."

"I know…it'd be a good idea to loop around it instead of heading right for it."

"My thoughts exactly. Let's get going."

"You'd better be alive; I've got a lot of things to say to you so you'd better be fucking alive." I muttered to myself as I looked in the direction of the gunfire.

Michonne and I slid down the hill we were perched on, making a beeline for the truck. A few walkers were congregating by the tit but we made quick work of them. We were about to climb into the cab when a man stumbled out of an alley, clutching his bleeding arm and muttering obscenities.

"Stupid bitches. That damn sniper killed my brothers! I'll kill them all."

I stood in his way, scowling down at him. "Wanna repeat that?"

"Who the fuck are you!?"

I kicked his supporting arm out from under him before aiming my revolver at him. "I'll ask you again, who are you referring to?"

Michonne pointed the tip of her sword at the back of his skull. "I think you'd better answer him."

"Fucking samurai in this day and age…and quite a looker too…how ya doing, beautiful?"

She drove her sword into his shoulder and slowly twisted it. "Impatient."

"I suggest you answer me."

"Fine." He groaned out. "Two bitches and a guy who might as well have been a fucking modern day Harley Quinn, bat and all, tried to get through our barricade."

"Keep going."

"They made it to the roof and that fucking sniper…got two of my brothers…then the girls, killed my older brother and wounded me and my younger one."

"Jesus you have a lot of brothers."

"Shut up!"

"Michonne." She twisted her sword in one sharp motion, causing the man pinned under her to scream in pain.

"After that?"

"I saw Joey tackle him and Connor went after him…I heard two gunshots and then nothing…but I did see four of my people go after him."

"Shit."

"He's as good as dead. Don't worry, the girls will be around for a while. Ain't seen girls that pretty in a while."

I felt my blood boil and before I could think twice, I fired a round into the top of his head. "We have to go. It's him. It can't be anyone else."

"My bet is that he was pushed into the woods."

"Or he lured them there. Back when we were on awkward terms, he'd go for 'walks' but I knew he'd perch high up in a tree and pick off walkers. If he's in the woods, he wasn't pushed there, he wanted to finish them off."

"You confident enough that he can take out 4 people on his own?"

"Well…he took down 3 people in a cabin we were in. One of them even had a sword."

"Well…he can certainly fight…chances are he's still kicking. Let's get moving."

"Right."

 **Tay POV**

It's been about three days since the attack in Hollister. Still haven't seen Camille or Brittany but they're okay. I know they are…sort of running on blind faith here…It's gotten me this far so why stop believing now?

It was night, if I had to venture a guess, I'd say it was about midnight. I was perched atop a tree with my rifle in my lap, back against the trunk of the tree. The moon light was shining through the trees, illuminating most of the landscape beneath me. The open field before me had a few zomb-walkers…walkers scattered about field. I could easily pick them off but I was running low on rounds for my rifle. I had ten rounds left, I was fine if I had to use my Px4 and the TMP I grabbed back in Hollister but if anything was turned into a war of attrition or a distance battle, I was kind of screwed.

One thought kept me going though, the thought of seeing my mom's smiling face again. If that's what I was fighting for, I knew I would win. "Well…better get moving. Pretty sure the signs I passed put me about a day or so off from Salinas unless I find a car."

I climbed down the tree, silently stalking my way through the foliage around me. I eventually came up to a road but I backpedaled and kept my distance from it in case anyone was out and about. I came across a sign that said 'Salinas: 5 miles'. My heart fluttered a bit because I know I paced myself through 4 or 5 miles back at college when a friend and I worked out so maybe moving at a constant pace would get me there a bit quicker.

I hit a steady jog, moving in the direction of the city but I stopped about a mile down the road. Standing before me, blocking my path, was a huge heard of walkers. They formed a wall so solid that even a tank might have trouble moving through it. I had very few options: I could try and find my way around them, I could be an idiot and fight my way through, or I could try and hide until they passed.

I took one last look at the huge threat drawing ever closer and made my decision. "Hiding it is." I made a beeline back the way I came and scaled one of the tallest trees I could find. Seems all I do is tree hop…can't be too upset though, it has gotten me this far and it continues to prove beneficial. I'll just wait it out.

After what seemed like an eternity, the herd of walkers was beginning to thin. I saw the last few staggering up the road and knew that I could finally scale down the tree and go on about my way. After doing so, I started to trot back up the road but was met with a few more reanimated corpses.

"Gimme a fucking break." I twirled my bat before taking aim at the first walker but a bullet ripped through its skull before I swung. A few more shots were fired my way and before I could think twice, my body was acting on its own and diving for cover.

"You're gonna pay for what you did, ya bastard!"

I glanced up at the top of the ditch I had landed in, sighing at the fact that I couldn't catch a fucking break. I listened and tried to shut out the sounds around me, focusing only on the footsteps of the attackers. It was a tad too noisy for that so I risked a glance and could clearly make out 5 shadowy figures with automatic weapons walking out of the tree line.

"Ah, shit. Well…if they want to play this game, we can play this game. The dark is my home. Stealth is my ally. Deception is my best weapon. Let's do this." I sprang up from my hiding spot, leveling my sights with the shins of the man in the lead. "Hi boys." I fired off a few rounds from my TMP, bringing the man in the lead to the ground, then darted off into the forest. I fired a few shots behind me to keep them from shooting back before full immersing myself in the shadows.

I knew the gunfire would draw the attention of the herd of walkers but I couldn't wait for them to turn around and finish the job but I had to be aware that there was a wall pushing in from the East. I hid behind a tree listening for them. I heard a few of them talking about how their friend wouldn't make it because the doctor of their group was dead. Soon after I heard a lone gunshot.

"Fuck…these people don't fuck around." I tucked away my TMP and took out a few shuriken I had stashed on a pouch on my belt. "Might as well bring these out of retirement. I took out a bit of wire I had in my pocket and tied them to the shuriken. I had six shuriken and about 150 feet of razor sharp wire. I tossed one into the tree to my left and did the same thing with a tree to my right, making sure it was at about neck height.

I retreated further into the forest and waited. After a few minutes, 2 men and 2 women wandered into view, looking around the dark woods. "He's here somewhere. I know he is."

"Those bastards killed almost everyone back at the barricade. We're the only ones left."

"Keep yer eyes peeled, fucker could be anywhere." Shortly after uttering that sentence, one of the men fell victim to my trap. The wire didn't cut through his head but it sliced deep enough to cut through his trachea.

He stumbled back and dropped to his knees, clutching his throat. "JEB!" One of the women cried.

"Shit!" The last man, who'd bypassed the trap ran towards his fallen friend but didn't miss the wire. His momentum got the wire lodged in his spine and yanked one of the shuriken out of its foothold.

"NOT JASON TOO! YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" The enraged woman fired blindly into the dark, almost hitting me twice.

"Melissa! Calm. Down. He won't get away with this, we will find him and we will kill him for what he's done."

"Okay…okay…"

"Not happening." I quipped as I dashed out of hiding. I leapt into the air, using a rock as a lift point, before I threw two shuriken with wire connected to them. As I landed, I yanked the wires so they'd wrap around one woman's neck and with a firm tug, I severed both of her carotid arteries.

"MARIANA!" The other woman yelled as blood sprayed onto her face.

I sprinted forward, drawing out more wire, preparing for my final attack. I was about ten feet from her when she fired a shot at me, then another, then another. The first two missed, but as I shifted to change direction, her third shot grazed my shoulder. I slid in the dirt and resumed my pace and closed the small gap between us.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" She shouted as I drew closer to her with the wire. I wrapped the wire around her neck, pinning her arms in an awkward position as well as preventing her from fighting back.

"Last words?"

"Fuck off." With one firm tug, she was dead. The wires sliced through her neck, only catching around her spine and when she dropped, her weight effectively severed her head.

"Such language." I heard more footsteps and pointed my Px4 in the direction from which they were emanating.

"Easy there, Harley." The Shadowy figure came into view and I immediately relaxed.

"Hey, Stark. Been a minute."

"You bet your red and black ass it has. You okay?"

"Yeah…you? Cami-pie?"

"We're both fine. We heard the shouting and gunfire, took a chance on it being you and here I am."

"Where's-"

"Car." She said handing me a bandage for my shoulder.

"Thank God. Let's grab their shit and go. Salinas isn't that far from here." Brittany and I grabbed their weapons and ammunition as wells as my shuriken before booking it back to the car. A couple of walkers got in our way but Camille was watching and made quick work of them, allowing us time to load in our supplies. After strapping in, we were headed down the road and shortly after, we passed a sign saying 'Salinas City Limits'.

Finally, our search could begin.

 **Carl POV**

"What now?"

"Go around." Michonne suggested.

"That might take too long. We could lose them."

"You wanna fight your way through that?"

Michonne sighed heavily. "Going around seems to be our only option."

"At least we know where they're going."

"Salinas…his mom might be there."

"That's who he's looking for? That explains it…"

"Explains what?"

"The day we first met, I corrected him about using foul language around me and asked if his mother had taught him to respect his elders…I guess I hit a nerve because He told me never to speak of someone I knew nothing about. I'd never seen so much anger in someone's eyes…not even when the prison fell."

"Michonne…"

"I regret it now. I'll apologize when we catch up to them. Let's go."

We got into the car and I slowly backed down the hill before driving along a road that, if all goes well, will take us around the herd of walkers and send us into Salinas by day break. All I could think about as I drove was the glimpse of his face that I caught before he got into the car with his friends.

His hair was longer, it looked like if he let it down it would rest between his shoulder blades. For some odd reason he looked taller. He looked more built than the last time I saw him. All I wanted to do was talk to him…before punching him in his face for leaving me.

"Carl."

"Yes?"

"Slow down."

I looked at the speedometer and saw I was pushing 90 so I eased off the gas a bit. "Sorry. Got lost in thought."

"We'll catch up to them. Be patient."

"Trying to…"

 **Tay POV**

We reached Salinas shortly after leaving the forest but decided to rest after such an eventful 3 days. We pulled the car off the road and parked it. I was anxious to start searching but knew that I couldn't do much on barely any sleep and no energy so I tried my best to get at least an hour of sleep. After a bit of sleep, I was woken up by Camille, saying that we were going to start searching the city.

"Any clue where she might be?" Brittany asked.

"Along the water. We start there. We agreed that if we ever got separated we'd put our backs towards the water so we should check buildings near the beach and boardwalks."

"Got it. Most of the buildings up ahead are burned to the ground so we should probably go up the coast towards Canada." Camille said.

"Go." I said simply. Both Brittany and Camille looked at me a tad worried.

"You okay?" Brittany questioned sounding concerned.

"I'm impatient, please just drive." Camille did as I asked, proceeding in the direction we decided on. After about an hour we stopped at a bridge.

"Shit."

"No way in hell the car is getting through that." An overturned bus, firmly wedged between the two sides of the bridge, blocked our path.

"Fuck, there's gotta be another way around. Back up and find another road."

Camille was about to put the car into reverse when we all heard what sounded like gunfire. "You guys here that?"

"Gunshots." Brittany said, fully alert and ready for action.

"Wait a second…" I climbed out of the car and sprinted towards the bus, using my momentum to run up a portion of the bus before grabbing onto the side of it and pulling myself up.

"Tay! Wait up." I heard Brittany call after me.

The world suddenly fell away, I felt my legs almost give out on me, my heartbeat sped up and my vision zoomed in on one spot. Before me was a huge group of walkers, all congregating around an overturned bulldozer. There was a lone woman doing her best at fending off the horde with her handgun. I felt my body lurch forward on its own, wanting to help her.

"Jesus, the hell is wrong with you?" Brittany scolded.

"Yeah, you shouldn't go running off like that."

"What are you staring at?" Brittany asked.

"Is that…"

"Mom."


	6. The Monster You Made Me

Chapter Six: The Monster You Made Me

 **Tay POV**

"That's her?" I didn't respond, I dropped down onto the bridge, heading towards the car. I grabbed my bat and some spare magazines for their guns before returning to the top of the bus. I handed them 3 magazines each, hoping that it'd be enough for them to at least clear half the walkers swarming my mom.

I adjusted my gauntlets, strapped my bat to my back, and gave the girls one last look; the sureness in their eyes was all the confirmation I needed. They took up positions on the bus that would allow them to effectively provide support for me before I stood at the edge, ready to descend into hell.

"TAY!"

I heard someone clamor up the side of the bus and as soon as I saw that unmistakable sheriff's hat, I felt a sudden surge of joy. Carl stood before me, looking like a totally different person than the one I'd left behind. One thing hadn't changed about him though; his steely eyed gaze was still the same. I took one last look at him before removing my rifle from my shoulder and tossing it to him.

"Cover me." I didn't wait for any confirmation, I simply dropped into the fray. I rolled when I hit the ground and used the push I got from that to sprint towards the wall of bodies standing between my mother and I.

As I got closer, I had my sights set on my first target; I drew my bat and with one firm swing, I turned its head to mush. At that moment, I felt…strange. I could feel every inch of my body tense and relax. I was aware of everything. The world was moving so slow and everything sounded so far away. The groaning of the walkers was drowned out by the beating of my heart. It was surprisingly even considering the situation. Is this…is this what adrenaline does? I feel so…focused.

I heard a gunshot and I knew what gun it was from. A bullet whizzed by my head and dropped a walker beside me. I dropped to my knees and let a flurry of bullets clear a path in front of me. I leapt over the bodies and proceeded towards my mom.

Swing after swing, bullet after bullet, walkers were dropping like flies. I was about 200 yards from my goal and still feeling invincible. Carl, Camille, and Brittany were doing an amazing job at covering me. If a walker even snarled, it was dropping to the pavement before I could give it a second thought. I did get grabbed once though; a walker grabbed me from behind and was about to bite into my neck but I used the skinnier end of my bat to keep its gapping maw busy and used my legs to kick off another walker. The force of my kick made me and the walker behind me topple backwards but as its grip loosened, I rolled to my feet. I drew my Px4 and fired at the walkers closest to me. Carl, not to be out done, was clearing a wider area around me.

I continued forward, using my fists and feet more than my bat the closer I got. My hits were solid, my form was flawless, my spatial awareness was dead on, best of all, despite being surrounded by certain death, I wasn't scared. I knew that the people on the bus would have my back if I needed help.

I was so close to the bulldozer; I could almost feel the metal of its cab beneath my feet. One resounding shot from Carl made a walker drop to its knees and I used it as a launch point, pushing off its shoulder and landing on top of the bulldozer next to my mom. I didn't wait for her to greet me, I simply nodded back at everyone on the bus before firing at the remaining walkers surrounding us.

As the last round left the barrel of my gun, I finally took a breath and looked at my mom. She looked tired, she had dried blood on her arms and face but no visible bite marks. Her hair was still in a short, manageable afro but it had darkened from the color it had been dyed years ago and was now accented by a blue folded scarf. She looked so shocked to see me but all I could do was stare. The adrenaline surging through my body was preventing me from fully enjoying this long overdue reunion but I knew once we got to safety, everything would hit me.

"Miss me?" I chuckled.

She wrapped her arms around me tightly and began sobbing. I had only ever seen my mother cry when my grandmother passed away and sometimes on my late grandfather's birthday. I'd never seen her sob before. I timidly wrapped my arms around her, solidifying that this was really happening. This wasn't a dream. This wasn't a hallucination. This was real. I was finally with the woman who raised me and I was so happy.

"I thought about you every single day." She sobbed into my shoulder.

"I did too, mom. I missed you so much. I made it my mission to get to you and didn't stop thinking about you for a second. Come on, we gotta go. My friends are waiting."

She hesitantly pulled away from me, placing her hand on my cheek. "You've grown so much."

"Mom, come on. I'm still 5'8. Maybe 5'10 in these boots." I joked.

"You haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Gotta take the laughs where I can get 'em."

I helped her down from the bulldozer, surprising her that I could support her weight. I told her that my time hadn't been wasted by fumbling about the country with my head up my ass and that I actually had been building strength. We made our way over to the others and we all helped my mom up onto the bus. Camille and Brittany introduced themselves, telling her that they'd heard so much about her and were glad they were finally able to meet her. I was watching them then slowly turned towards Carl. I was about to speak but my vision blurred and my legs almost gave out.

"Tay! What's wrong?" Camille cried.

"He's probably exhausted." Carl said calmly. "Here, just climb down off the bus and I can help you from there." I nodded, allowing Carl to go first so he could catch me. As I dropped down, my legs gave out completely and Carl had to support me. "I've got you." He shifted me onto his back and started walking towards what I assumed was his and Michonne's vehicle.

"My baby, mommy's here." Mom said as she walked along side us. "I'll drive to where I'm camped out. Make sure he'll be okay."

"I will…I promise." Carl assured her. That's the last thing I remember before passing out.

 **Carl POV**

"How's my baby doing?"

Tay was currently resting his head in my lap in the back seat of my and Michonne's truck, still worn out from earlier. "He's okay. His breathing isn't labored and he seems to be resting comfortably." I stated flatly as I ran my hand through his hair a few times.

"Thank you…thank you for helping me. My son seems to have immense trust placed in you two."

"You're welcome, but I must apologize for something…"

"Michonne right? What could you have to apologize for?"

"I stepped out of line with Tay when we first met. He was swearing around me and I asked if his mother had taught him to respect his elders. He retorted by saying that you'd taught him to respect those who respect him, regardless of age and to never speak of someone I knew nothing about. I apologize for my ignorance…had I known the situation I would have reworded my question."

"It's quite alright. He always has had a bit of a foul mouth, even around me. But he usually reigned it in when I asked him to. I'm sure if he'd heard what you just said he'd forgive you as well." His mother sighed a bit. "He always has been protective of me so I'm not surprised that he reacted in such a way."

"I understand." I spoke softly. "I was the same way with my dad."

"We're here." We pulled into a secluded shipping bay on the water, it was a pretty smart place to hide. You always had an out if you needed one. I noted that there was a boat in the water, a small garden in the corner, a clear tank full of fish, and a fire pit with chairs around it.

"Carl, be careful with him."

"I will be." I slowly slid Tay out of the backseat, supporting his upper body until Michonne grabbed his legs.

"Right upstairs." His mom said leading the way. "He can rest in the spare bed we have until he wakes up."

"Got it." We carried him up the steps as carefully as we could. His friends were close behind with his gear and a first aid kit.

"Sharon…er…Ms. Alvarez? Tay's mom, do you think he'll need any medical attention?" Camille asked timidly.

"Not likely. If you guys provided adequate support and he still has his training to fall back on, he should be fine with a bed, a pair of watchful eyes, and some water."

"Got it. Anything else we can do?"

We entered one of the rooms upstairs that looked like it was used as a communication center before his mother answered. "You girls can help me cook for everyone tonight. You guys must be starving."

"After today, I'm sure we could all use a nice meal." Camille said politely.

We set him down on the bed, placing his weapons close by. His mom knelt beside him, smoothing her hand over his cheek before placing a kiss on his forehead. "I missed you." She whispered softly.

"I'll stay with him." I assured her.

"I'd appreciate that."

"It's the least I can do, ma'am."

She hugged me tight for a few seconds before kissing me on the forehead. She took the girls and Michonne down stairs to prepare dinner, leaving me standing next to the bed. I turned my attention back to Tay, he looked at ease. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Look at you. You're such an idiot. You dove head first into a horde of the living dead with a handgun and a bat. You killed most of those things by yourself too, the rest of us were just kind of there." I paused, letting my smile falter a bit. "Why did you leave me, you idiot? You could have stayed. We could have found your mom together." I took a second to steady myself. "It's okay though, she's safe, your friends are here, and I'm here with you. I'm happy with how things ended up."

I grabbed the chair from the desk in the room and pulled it up next to his bed. I timidly took his hand in mine, feeling my heart flutter a bit. I'd waited for this moment for a while and I couldn't be happier right now.

 **Tay POV**

My eyes slowly opened and at first my vision was blurry and I felt a weight on my chest. As my vision cleared, I saw an all too familiar sheriff's hat part way down my chest and dark brown hair sticking out from under it.

"Hey, kinda hard to breathe with that huge head of yours on my stomach." His head shot up, a look of utter shock gracing his features. "Don't look so stunned, you didn't think I was dead, did you? Carl I'm hurt." I chuckled dryly.

He threw his arms around me as he buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I'm glad you're okay." I reciprocated his hug whilst rubbing his back.

"I missed you."

I felt his body tense a bit before he started shaking. "I missed you too."

"Shhh, don't cry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am. I thought that leaving was best for you…I see now that it was a bit of a mistake."

He pulled away suddenly, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. " _A bit?_ You almost broke me."

"Carl I'm sorry! That's not what I wanted at all, I thought leaving you with Michonne would be better for you!"

"Actually…you did more by leaving than you think. I used the pain of you leaving to fuel my training and make better decisions."

"I'm glad. We should spar again, show me how far you've come." I rubbed my thumb over his cheek, smoothing away his tears.

"I'd like that…but for now, your mom is down stairs with dinner."

"I thought I smelled fish. Hungry?"

"Starving."

"Let's go eat then."

Carl helped me to my feet and out onto the walkway before we headed down the stairs. "Hey everyone, look who's awake."

Everyone looked up from their plates but there was one person who looked over a bit slower than everyone else. I saw his face and I felt sheer and utter shock surge through me. I never thought he'd be alive, never thought to look for him. Never really cared if he was okay or not, now he was staring me in the face.

"You."

"Son…I'm glad you're okay." He set his plate down and began walking over to me.

"That's your dad?" Carl asked. I didn't reply, my eyes just narrowed and my body tensed.

He got closer to me and looked as if he was about to say something but I punched him in the jaw. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I kicked him in the ribs and landed another punch in his face.

"ASANTE'! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I heard mom yell but I was too pissed to even care.

"Why did you come back?!" I punched him in his stomach then kneed him in the chin. "I was fine most of my life without you and then you just show up?" I kicked him in the back of his leg before punching him again. "WHY?! You trying to weasel your way in through mom?!"

"Should we stop him?" Camille asked, looking extremely worried.

"After what he told us about him, let him beat the shit out of him until he feels better." She continued to eat her fish as she unapologetically watched me beat my father.

After about five minutes of consecutive punches and kicks, Carl finally restrained me. "Enough! You're gonna kill him!"

My father was left slumped over on the floor, beaten and bloody, coughing and trying to catch his breath. "Who taught you to punch? They did a damn good job."

"It sure as hell wasn't you!"

"Asante', he helped me. He watched out for me. We were doing well together here."

"Are you back together with him?"

"God no. We're just friends."

"I'm so-"

"Save. Your. Breath. Mom, can I have a plate of food? I'll be eating upstairs."

"One for me too please."

"Who are you?"

"Dino, I told you."

"I'm your son's boyfriend." The room went silent as Carl took my slightly bloodied hand and laced our fingers together.

"FUCK YEAH!" Brittany cheered into the silence of the room, causing Camille to choke on a laugh she was trying to keep stifled. Michonne looked…like she wasn't surprised. Mom looked like someone just told her the sky was blue, in other words, she didn't seem bothered or surprised, but my father looked sort of pissed. I didn't care if he approved or not. His opinion didn't mean shit to me.

"Is this true?" He asked, staggering to his feet while wiping blood from his face.

I looked down at our interlaced fingers then back up at my father before turning to fully face Carl. I brought my free hand up to his cheek, smoothing my thumb over it before moving it to the back of his head. "Does this answer your question?" I slowly leaned in for a kiss, unsurprisingly, Carl met me half way and I could feel my body practically levitate off the ground. I felt my heart rate increase before my body relaxed.

We slowly pulled apart and I felt myself being drawn in to his cool blue eyes once again. "AWWWWW!" Camille and Brittany cooed. I tried to stifle a chuckle but it broke free.

"I'm going to get cleaned up." Dino said as he stormed off towards the bathroom.

"Sweetie, you should apologize." Mom said as she brought over my and Carl's plates.

"I'll thank him for helping you but I'm not apologizing for doing something I've wanted to do since I was in grade school. Thanks for dinner. I love you." We took our plates from my mom and I kissed her on the cheek before leading Carl by the hand back to the room we were in.

Once in the room, I shut the door and set my plate on the desk. Carl had just set his down when I pulled him towards me. "Hey there…" He blushed.

"So…was that your unofficial way of asking me out?"

"Yes…and was the kiss your way of saying yes or just you shutting up your dad?"

"It was my way of saying yes. I wanted to piss him off but I also have wanted to kiss you for a very long time and I thought…I'd never get the chance."

"Well here's another chance." He placed his arms around my shoulders before slowly leaning in and kissing me. I slowly backed up towards the bed until the back of my knees touched the edge. I sat down on the squishy mattress while Carl stayed standing. We parted, smiling at each other. He looked down at me through his long hair and I could see the happiness in his eyes.

I slid my hands from his hips, under his shirts, and gently caressed his sides. I felt him shiver under my touch and it provided immense satisfaction for me knowing that I could finally make him feel the way I wanted him to.

"Wanna fool around after we eat?"

"After I talk to my mom…it's been almost a year since we parted ways after my campus was over run and I have a lot to tell her."

"I understand."

"You can sleep with me though."

"I'd like that."

"You still got my phone?"

"Yup." He fished the device out of his pocket, showing me that it was still in good condition.

"You took good care of it."

"It was…the only thing I had to remember you by. I didn't let it out of my sight."

"We can listen to music tonight if you want."

"Just one song. I promised myself that I'd listen to it _when_ I found you again."

"I feel special…you came looking for me."

"I wasn't going to let you slip away that easily." I leaned forward, kissing him softly. It felt so good to finally be able to kiss him. After an entire month apart, I was finally getting to do what I wanted to do.

He slowly pressed me backwards onto the bed until he was straddling me. He guided my hands up to his hips, forcing me to tightly grip them. I smirked to myself, acknowledging that he had been waiting for this moment for a long time and new exactly what he wanted to do.

I slowly pulled away from him laughing a bit. "I thought you were hungry."

"I am, but for something else."

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Positive."

"Alright. We can fool around tonight and go as far as you want. For now, can we eat?"

"Fine." He chuckled.

After Carl and I ate I went downstairs with everyone else, sans Dino, to talk with my mom. "How ya doing mom?"

"I'm good. How was the food?"

"Great as always. I missed your cooking. So…how've you been mom? Tell me everything about the last year and how it's been for you."

"The whole year? Wow…where do I start?"

"How about after we parted ways in DeKalb."

"Right. Well…get comfortable because I've been quite busy since we've last seen each other."

Michonne and the girls moved to give us some privacy but I waved them off. "You guys can stay if you want."

"Oh, yes. I don't mind if you hear what we say."

"CARL! Come down here!" I called up to him. He came trotting down the stairs coming to stand beside me.

"Yeah?"

I tapped my foot in front of me. "Take a seat."

"You sure?"

"Positive." He sat between my legs, setting his hat in his lap. "You have our undivided attention."

My mom smiled softly before starting her long tale of overcoming the adversity that this new world bred. She recounted how she had to learn to survive and relearn how to use a gun. She told us how she remembered some of the techniques I showed her to defend herself and how she felt when she first killed someone. I had flashbacks to the first time I had to kill someone, it was kind of exhilarating but at the same time I felt horrible.

She went on about her travels and the hardship she endured for an hour or two. She told us about the time she was barricaded in a school after looking for medical supplies and ended up hiding in the ventilation ducts to avoid being killed by zombies, she told us about the time she almost flipped a car after being ambushed, even how she ended up finding my father, apparently they ran into each other while clearing a house and she put him on his ass with a Judo throw before pointing a gun in his face.

I think Carl felt me tense up a bit when she told us about that because he gripped my hand a bit tighter before bringing it to his lips. Once my mom was finished she asked me about my travels.

"Well…as you can see, I adopted the identity of Harley Quinn."

"Wait, does that make me your Puddin'?" Carl asked, smiling up at me.

In my best Harley Quinn voice, I replied "Sure does, sweetie."

"Okay that was scary good." Brittany said from her seat.

"Yeah, that was dead on."

"I gotta get the voice right for my Puddin'."

I kissed the top of Carl's head. "Thank you Harley." I heard a groan from across the room. I saw Dino emerging from some room on the first floor, still clutching his face.

"Problem?" I said in an unamused tone.

"My face still hurts."

"I could pay more attention to your ribs and legs next time."

"Look, son-"

"Not your son."

"What?"

"You heard me. I-"

Carl gently squeezed my arm, silently telling me to calm down. "Tay." I looked down at him and he nodded towards my mother.

I looked up at her and she seemed uncomfortable. "I'm sorry mom." I looked back at Dino, narrowing my eyes at him. "You. Me. Outside. Now."

Carl clutched my arm as I got up. "You gonna be okay?"

I looked at my father then at Carl. "I can't promise anything but I'll try to be calm."

"Please do. Be careful?" He said handing me his gun. I noticed I didn't have mine on me and took it.

"Of course." I leaned down and kissed him quickly before striding over to the door that led to the docks with Dino close behind me.

Once outside, I slammed the door shut. "You're not going to punch me again, are you?"

"I'm tempted to. Look, there's a lot of shit I want to say to you, but I'll skip right to the point: I don't like you, I am still pissed at the way you dipped in and out of my life, I hate the way you treated Aaron for being gay, I hate how you tried to manipulate me into giving you another chance…however…I am thankful you kept mom safe. That…that puts us at a neutral point. I don't like you but I don't hate you."

"That's fair…I wasn't exactly father of the year…I'm sorry for everything."

"I accept your apology. I will make one thing clear though, you come between me, my boyfriend, my friends, or me and mom, and I will personally see to it that you die a painful death. Got it?"

"Understood."

"Good." I saw a walker creep out of the shadows behind Dino. He heard it moaning and snarling, turning to point his gun at it. I lowered his gun before walking over to the walker, kicking it's legs out from under it, and then stepping on its head with a firm stomp. "Gunshots will draw more. Last thing we need is a horde of them knocking at our doors."

"Right…"

We went back inside and saw everyone cleaning up. "What's going on?"

"Lockdown." Dino said looking at me before going to help.

"Is it that late already?"

"You know I like going to bed at reasonable hours, unlike you." Mom joked.

"Night owl, can't help it." I set to work, helping my mom lock down the building and clearing things from dinner.

"Girls, I hope you don't mind sharing a room. Michonne we have a spare room for you if you'd like." Mom said politely.

"We don't mind at all, Camille and I are close so sharing a room is nothing for us."

"Unless someone eats all the red velvet pancakes again."

"LET IT GO CAMILLE."

"NEVER."

"For the love of God you two…" I groaned.

"Leave 'em alone." Carl chuckled. "They're funny."

"You say that now. Give it a month."

"Shut up, Tay." Brittany chuckled.

"You love us." Camille said as she moved their stuff into their room.

"Yeah, yeah. Go get settled. Hey, Carl, go get comfy in our room and I'll be in in a second."

"Okay." He grinned at me before heading into our room. I followed mom into her room, standing against the doorway as she set her gun on the table beside her bed.

"In all my years of seeing you off to bed, I'd never thought I'd see you putting an HK P30 next to your bed."

"Well…times have changed."

"I know…I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetie."

"I'm sorry for the tension between Dino and I…I was surprised to see him is all and…we have so many unresolved issues between us."

"I get it."

"What?"

"I understand. I let you form your own opinion of him and he showed you time and time again why you shouldn't trust him…I get it and I don't blame you." She walked over to me and hugged me tight. "Just try to be nice…for me."

I nodded my head slowly. "Okay. For you."

She smiled up at me, rubbing my cheek as she did. "Good night, sweetheart, I love you."

"I love you too. Night." We hugged once more before I left, shutting the door to her room. "Night everyone." I shouted. Michonne, Dino, Camille, and Brittany responded accordingly as I strode towards my room. As I entered, I saw Carl taking off his jeans. "Hmm, I like what I see."

"Shit!" Carl jumped a bit.

"I don't know why, but a guy in plaid boxers always turns me on." I cooed seductively as I grabbed his waist.

"Seriously?" Carl chuckled.

"Mmhmm." I replied as I kissed his neck.

"Ahh…"

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked as I slowly slid his shirt down to reveal more of his shoulder before lightly biting it.

"Shit…that's…ahhh…that feels good."

"This is only the beginning. I can make you feel so much better." I nipped at his earlobe before spinning him so he could face me. "How far do you want to go tonight?"

"I'll try to go all the way."

"Are you sure?"

"Ever since you left, I've been more sure of my actions. I'm sure." He looked into my eyes, I saw nothing but certainty in those ice blue eyes that had always captivated me.

"Okay. I'll go slow. Tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point in time okay?"

"Alright…have you…done this before?" He asked nervously as he laid down.

"I've been penetrated by an ex but…never had sex."

"O-oh…did it hurt?"

"A bit, yeah. But unlike him, I'll prep you and make sure you're comfortable."

"I umm…I have lube in my bag…"

"Where the hell did you find lube?"

"Found some while Michonne and I were on a run. It's…umm…warming lube."

"Hmph, a good find."

"I tried it out once or twice."

"Yeah?" I smirked down at him. "How was it?"

"I…I liked it."

"Well…tell me what you did with the lube." I let my hand trail under his shirt and up his body. I leaned forward, staying just a few centimeters away from his neck.

I heard his breath hitch the further my hands went. "I…I thought of you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…I pictured you caressing my sides and pressing yourself between my legs." I pressed my hips forward, feeding into his fantasies. "Just like that. I would…I would stroke myself slowly, thinking of you going down on me, your tongue slowly trailing down the center of my body."

"You're so bad…" I loomed over him, hovering just over his lips. "It's a turn on." He closed the distance between us before gently touching his fingers to my cheek.

He dropped his head back down onto the pillow. He looked down at the small space between us as he bit his lip. "You're overdressed."

I looked down and noted that I indeed was still wearing my clothes. "So I am. Help me undress?"

"My pleasure." I sat up letting Carl help me remove my shirt before reaching for me belt.

"Hold up." I removed my gun and holster, placing it nearby. "Sorry. It would have made things take a bit longer." Carl tore open my pants, all but commanding me to discard the restrictive denim. I kicked off my boots before discarding my pants.

"Really?" Carl asked while laughing.

"What? You know you love how your Harley looks in red and black." I was wearing a pair of Harley Quinn boxer-briefs. Red on the right side, black on the left with 3 red diamonds to offset the color block.

"I do enjoy your diamonds." He said tracing the diamonds on my forearm.

"Well you get to touch them all you want…after we get you out of these." I helped him out of his shirts, enjoying how his hair became even more messy. "Wow…"

Carl looked away, feeling a tad self-conscious. "What is it?"

"Your body is amazing. You've gained a bit of muscle tone in the month we've been apart. I like it. I pressed him back against the bed. "Let me show you what I wanted to do when we were alone at the cabin."

I kissed him on the lips before trailing kisses down to his jaw, neck, and chest. I lightly licked his nipples, eliciting a loud, drawn out moan from him. I continued making my way down his body until I reached the waistband of his boxers. He was extremely aroused at this point; there was a dark spot at the tip of the bulge in his underwear and I could see the base of his cock through the small opening in them.

"Keep going." He pleaded.

"With gusto."

I helped him take off his boxers before tossing them into the pile of his clothes. I can say without any doubt that Carl looked breathtaking in this moment: his hair was strewn about messily atop the pillow, his skin had a light glow surrounding it because of the candle on the desk, his eyes were glossed over, his lips were pink and a tad swollen, and his chest was rising and falling a bit faster than its normal pace.

"You look amazing." I glided my hands up his inner thighs before scooting back a bit so I was positioned above his erect cock.

I licked my lips before slowly engulfing his length in my mouth all the way down to the base. Carl's back arched off the mattress and one of his hands found its way to my shoulder. I slid one of my hands up his side, stimulating him even more, before I slowly bobbed my head up and down. I applied light suction as well as used my tongue to lubricate his length.

"Shit…Tay…I-I feel…it feels amazing."

I kept my pace slow and even, giving Carl my best. I slowly pulled off him before moving to tease his balls with my tongue. I lightly prodded them before gently sucking them into my mouth. Carl covered his mouth, trying to keep quiet as I continued to tease him. I came up for a second to adjust my hair so it was out of the way.

"I've never…never seen you with your hair out of your face…"

I let my hair fall to my shoulders, feeling a tad self-conscious. "Do you not like it?"

"No! No…it's not that. I've never gotten a good look at your face. You're really cute."

"You're not just saying that because I'm sucking you off?"

"Not at all."

"Thank you…" I blushed a bit before I finished tying my hair back.

I licked my lips before getting back to the task at hand. I pressed Carl's cock through the loosely formed seal, putting up a bit of resistance when I did, before letting him slide into my throat. "Fuck." He drawled out.

I kept up a steady, even pace for a bit before I sped up. I fondled his balls a bit as I bobbed up and down and I could feel the orgasm building inside him. His strangled moans grew a bit louder until a small whine escaped his mouth. That was it, he came hard down my throat and I swallowed every drop. It felt like he was emptying a lifetime supply of his seed into my mouth but I didn't pull away until he was finished.

"God…that was…wow…"

"I aim to please." I said licking my lips.

"You have impeccable aim…I think I'm done for the night…"

"I figured you would be. It's okay, I'm guessing this was your first sexual experience?"

"Yeah…never even masturbated before."

"Jesus, Carl. That's something everyone's done at some point…but I guess if you've gone through puberty during the apocalypse you don't have the time." I climbed over him to retrieve his boxers from the pile of his clothes and tossed them to him before climbing back into bed.

"Thanks." He slid his underwear back on before relaxing next to me. I propped my head up using my left arm before taking a long look at the adorable young man lying next to me. "What?"

"Just…happy."

"Me too." His gaze drifted down to my forearm then to my shoulder. "So…about your tattoos."

"I was wondering when you'd ask."

"What are the dates on your arm?"

I glanced fondly at the slightly faded ink on my right shoulder. "Mom and grandma's birthday."

"That's really sweet."

"The two most influential women in my life deserved to be honored in such a way."

"Agreed. Your mom is a wonderful woman."

"That she is…" I trailed off. I could recall all the times that she'd scolded me but it was always out of love and trying to get me to be a good person or learn a lesson.

"What about this?" He asked, trailing his fingertips over the crosshatched pattern of diamonds on my forearm.

"Harley Quinn diamonds."

"They look tattered."

"That's how I wanted them. I didn't lose any skin, I asked the artist to do it that way, make it look like I'd had it for years."

"They did a great job. Anymore I haven't seen?"

"Just one." I moved my hair away from my neck and leaned down to show him my third tattoo.

"What is it? It looks Chinese."

"Japanese actually." I said sitting up again. "It's the character for water."

"Why water?"

"My favorite element. It also aligns with my zodiac sign. It kind of represents how I am in life, I go with the flow, I'm fluid, I can be ferocious and powerful or…" I trailed the back of my hand down his cheek "I can be cool and gentle."

He smiled up at me before leaning forward to kiss me. I let him press his lips against mine, initiating a steady make out session. His arms loosely draped around my neck as our lips rocked against one another's. My hands found his sides, slowly ghosting up them. I nudged him gently as I rolled onto my back, signaling him to get on top of me. He happily obliged, straddling my hips and settling into a comfortable position.

My hands found purchase in his soft, deep brown locks. I lightly tugged at them, eliciting a slight moan from the boy on top of me. He slowly pulled away from me and upon peering deep into his eyes, I saw tears forming in them.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

He scooted back so I could sit up and look at him. He pulled me into a tight hug, shaking a bit as he let his emotions overtake him. "Please don't leave me again."

I hugged him as tight as I could. "I'm sorry…I really am. I know I hurt you but I really thought I was doing something that was best for you. I see now that that it hurt you more than it helped you." I squeezed him tighter. "Please…forgive me."

I felt droplets fall onto my back and his grip tighten. "I forgive you…I missed you so much and I wondered what I did to push you away…I thought about you every day…the songs in that playlist…they said everything I wanted to say to you and more…"

"Shhh...I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

He pulled away from me just enough to press his forehead to mine. He took my hand in his before bringing it up to his lips. "You swear?"

"I swear." I wiped away his tears with my free hand before slowly pressing kisses to both of his cheeks. "Come on, we've had a long day." I reached over to the chair beside the bed, grabbing my phone and handing it to Carl. "Let's get some sleep."

He nodded slowly before shifting into a comfortable spot with his back towards me. I slid in behind him, pulling him against my chest. He started the song that he'd wanted to listen to before we went to sleep and upon hearing it, my heart dropped.

"I love this song…"

"All I could picture was your face when I first heard it."

He was playing 'Love Me Like You Do', a song that held a special place in my heart. I hugged him tighter, knowing just how much I meant to him and I silently promised myself to never make him feel this way again, I never wanted to see the young man I had wrapped in my arms cry ever again. So from this day forward, I would bring him nothing but joy and happiness.

I woke up early the next morning. I stared at my surroundings for a while before letting my gaze drift towards the still slumbering form lying next to me. I smiled softly as I ran my fingers through his disheveled, dark brown locks. I climbed over him and got dressed for a morning training session. I headed downstairs, dressed in my jeans, a black tank top, my gauntlet, and my boots with my gun on my belt and bat in my hands.

"Morning." Michonne greeted from her position beside a window.

"Morning. How long you been up?"

"An hour or so. Didn't sleep well."

"Nervous about sleeping around people you don't know?"

"A bit."

"Understandably so."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"What I said about your mom back when we first met…I get it now. Had I known I would have rephrased what I wanted to say."

"Water under the bridge. I was being a tad disrespectful so…I'm sorry too."

"Apology accepted. Where ya headed?"

"Out, to train for a bit."

"Mind if I tag along?"

I smirked playfully at her. "Only if you let me use your sword, it's been ages since I've used one."

"Alright. I'll let you use her, try and show me something I've never seen though."

"Fine, that'll be easy. Come on."

Michonne and I headed out and opted for a spot with a view of the water. I set my things down and began to stretch a bit before doing a warm up series of punches and kicks and shifting into practicing combinations. I started reviewing my forms, messing up a tiny bit each time and redoing them until I was content before taking a breather.

Michonne had been silently watching me, analyzing my movements. I sat cross-legged in front of her for a moment, letting my heart rate decrease before starting up again. "You're pretty good."

"Really? Ya think so?"

"I know a capable fighter when I see one."

"I appreciate the praise. If you want, I can show you the sword forms I know."

"I'd appreciate that."

"We could spar too if you want."

"Gonna have to take a raincheck on that."

"Fair enough." I chuckled. I rose to my feet before holding my hand out towards her. "May I?" She timidly handed me her sword and I couldn't help but marvel at its beauty and feel nostalgic, recalling my days with a real sword. "She's gorgeous. Let's begin."

I began teaching her the ten step sequence of moves I had learned when I was just becoming a martial artist and she picked up on that pretty quickly. I had her practice with me a few times to make sure she had it down before I taught her the 9 points of attack that I had also learned. I used may gauntlets to block her strikes and after about an hour of training together, I did a bit of physical conditioning before we headed back.

"You did well today. I wanted to mention that you should do angled strikes because katanas aren't meant to cleave through entire bodies, they can get stuck or break, so angled slashes are best if you wish to avoid shattering that beauty on your back." We strode into the door of our current residence, tired after a good day of training.

"Got it. I appreciate the help."

"I appreciate you making sure my idiot stayed alive."

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Carl shouted as he descended the stairs.

"You." I chuckled before walking over to him and pecking him lightly on the cheek.

"How am I an idiot?"

"You just are."

"Dumbass."

"Carl." Michonne scolded.

"Sorry."

I pulled him into a hug, poking fun at how he was still on a leash even though he was 18. "You're so cute." I cooed.

Carl chuckled, trying to pull away from me. "Get off me."

"Nuh-uh, Puddin'. Not gonna happen."

"Jesus you two, get a room." Michonne quipped sarcastically.

I looked at Carl and I knew both of us thought back to last night because we both started laughing uncontrollably. Carl settled down enough to give me an actual good morning kiss. "You still got enough energy to spar with me today?"

"Of course I do. I made sure I would."

"We heading back out to spar?" He asked excitedly.

"I was thinking we could spar on the docks."

"Why the docks?"

"Sparring on a narrow strip of land will make you more aware of your surroundings, step too far one way or the other and you end up in the drink."

"Understood."

"Good morning." Mom said as she descended the stairs. I trotted over to her, hugging her tight and kissing her on the cheek.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in a while. What are you guys up to?"

"Michonne joined me for a morning training session and now Carl and I are about to spar. Wanna watch?"

"Sure. I've never actually seen you fight in person. Oh, should I go wake the girls?"

"Let 'em sleep, they've earned a reprieve from the action. Besides, they know I can fight."

"Can I watch?" We all whirled around to see my estranged father standing at the foot of the stairs. "It'd be nice to not be on the receiving end of your punches and kicks, I could actually see what they look like." He chuckled dryly.

Everyone looked at me for confirmation and after looking between my mother and Carl a few times, I nodded before walking towards the docks. I stood with my back towards the water, feeling the spray of the ocean as the waves crashed against the cement below my feet. It was quite refreshing seeing as how it was the tail end of August. Carl stood before me, waiting for me to give him the signal for us to begin.

"You ready, Puddin'? I'm not going to pull as many punches this time."

"I wouldn't want you to." He replied confidently.

"Be careful you two!" My mom warned. I nodded towards her before focusing on Carl.

"Alright…BEGIN!"

"And that's the match." Michonne chuckled as I sent Carl flying into the water.

Soon after his head dipped below the water, he resurfaced, gasping for air. "You did that on purpose!"

I knelt down at the edge of the dock "I told you, the idea was to be more mindful of your surroundings. I let you back me up to the edge a couple of times to make you think I couldn't keep up with you." I offered him my hand then pulled him out of the water before I continued. "It was a mind game, my dear."

"Is that why the first time I could have fallen in, you stepped around me and grabbed my wrist before I went in?"

"Mmhmm, I wanted you to be more careful but you fell for my ploy." I moved some of his hair out of his face, chuckling a bit. "You look like a wet rat."

"Shut up, like you look any better fresh out of the water."

"Well if you had fought a little better you might have been able to see." I winked at him before patting him on the back. "Come on, let's go get you dried off."

"That was amazing!"

"Thanks mom."

"Very impressive, son."

I hesitated for a second. "Thank you, Dino."

I heard him sigh as Carl and I walked into the building. "I wasn't expecting much but hearing my own son address me with my first name is kind of a hard pill to swallow."

"I know it's hard, maybe he'll come around but you know you dug this hole yourself." I heard mom say.

"I know…"

After we got upstairs and behind closed doors, Carl began to shed his soaked clothes, wringing them out in the sink in the corner. "So what's the story with your father?"

I paused, midway through retrieving a fresh change of clothes for him. I thought carefully about his question before sighing and scratching the back of my neck. "That's…a long story."

He shed his underwear, wringing them out before hanging them on the window sill. "I've got time."

"But not the clothing, get dressed so I don't get distracted."

He chuckled shyly before taking his fresh clothes from me and dressing in them. I sat on the bed with my back to the wall and as soon as Carl was dressed, he joined me, placing his head on my lap and staring up at me with those mesmerizing eyes of his.

"Comfy?"

"Very."

"Alright…where do I start?"

"Usually the beginning."

"Shut up, smartass. Well…as a child I never really knew how to feel about him. I was raised by my mom and occasionally my father would take me to his place for a night or two and I would just sorta…be there. I had to entertain myself and I became independent at a young age because of him. I tried to feed myself because whenever I got up, I was the only one awake for hours. As I got older he was in my life less and I didn't know how to feel about it…it just was how it was. I was fine with it for the most part until kids would start talking about what their dad did for them that day or the previous week and I just couldn't relate."

"Go on." He said as he gently took my hand.

"I lied. I began lying about things he did so I'd fit in, so I'd feel…normal. I thought I loved him like I should love a parent. Then that changed when he spanked me for running across the street. It was night, I was on the street I lived on and I could see the place mom and I stayed in. I looked both ways before darting out into the desolate street and up to the front door to ring the bell. He was pissed but I didn't understand why, I had done everything right, looked both ways twice, ran full speed across the street and got to the front door in one piece. Anyway…that's when everything between us began to change. I was more fearful of him. Sure, I'd been spanked but never by him."

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

"I'll save you the in-between stuff and hit key events: Him slamming me against a wall repeatedly after a slight tiff with my grade school best friend, him disowning my older brother after he came out, him promising to be at my 8th grade graduation and instead just popping by to give me something then leaving, for that one my aunt could have come and stayed so he screwed her over, then him trying to manipulate me into giving him a second chance because his health was declining."

"He seemed nice…"

"That's just the surface layer he uses to weasel his way in. In summation, we have history between us and after seeing him for the first time in years…"

"You snapped."

"Exactly."

"So…where do you stand after your talk with him?"

"Neutral ground. I don't hate him but I don't love him. He's just here. I'm being civil for my mom's sake."

"Would you ever kill him?"

I looked down at him, a bit shocked by the boldness of his question. "I told him that if he came between us, my friends, or me and mom, we'd have problems but killing him wasn't what I would have done to resolve the situation. I'd only kill him if he was an immediate threat or turned." I looked deeply into Carl's eyes to let him know how serious I was. "If he ever laid a finger on any of you, I'd have his head on a pike before you could blink."

"Wow, so romantic."

"Shut up. You wanted to know the story between us and now you know."

"Well…he's not all bad."

"How do you figure?"

"He's half the reason you're here."

"Wow that was corny." I chuckled, leaning down towards him.

"It worked though." He met me halfway, kissing me softly a few times. "Thank you for telling me. You didn't have to but I'm glad you did."

"Thank you for listening."

"Anytime."

"Come on, let's go see if mom needs any help with chores around this place."

"Roger that. Oh, did I mention I learned how to drive?"

"Guessing Michonne taught you?" He nodded quickly. "Nice, now I don't have to be your chauffer when we go out on runs."

"Speaking of which, we should go see if we need to go on one today."

"You don't wanna fool around for a bit first?" I chuckled as I let my hands roam his lower body.

His breath hitched in his throat as my hands found their way up his inner thighs. "Trying to mess up my fresh change of clothes, are we?"

"Maybe a little."

"Can it wait until after we do chores?"

I peered down at the bulge in his jeans. "Maybe I should be asking you that."

He leaned upwards, kissing me a bit roughly before pulling away. "It'll be worth the wait." With that he quickly got up and strode out of the room.

"Geeze, the things I do for him."

We sought out my mom and asked if she needed any work done around the compound or if she needed us to go on a run. She told us that the fishing nets needed to be brought in and the crab traps needed to be checked and that we would have to take over guard duty in a couple of hours. She also told us the needed us to drive into town and look for a few things that we were low on.

After being relayed our orders, Carl and I set out to complete our tasks, starting with the fishing nets and crab traps. We hauled in about 10 pounds of fish and enough crab for everyone but instead of killing them right away, we placed them in a holding pond mom and Dino made to keep the fish alive and potentially breed them.

After rehoming our catch, we relieved Brittany and Michonne from their posts, standing guard for a few hours before lunch was brought out to us. Carl and I scanned the horizon for any potential threats, spotting a few walkers tumbling over the hills near the compound. I made eye contact with Carl before nodding towards the minor threat meandering towards us.

"You wanna take care of this?"

"How about I cover you this time."

"You…you serious?"

"I think you're good enough to handle 3 walkers on your own. Go get 'em, tiger."

Carl tossed me his AR before jogging towards the walkers. He readied himself for the first walker's attack, meanwhile, I had the same shambling corpse in the crosshairs of my rifle, ready to intervene if Carl got into a bind. He ducked under the reanimated body as it lunged under him, flipping it onto it's back as he stood. He then swept his leg towards the second walked, taking out it's decaying limbs before he drew his knife and wedged it in the third walker's temple. He turned around and drove his heel into the second walker's skull before driving his knee upwards into the first one's chin shortly before delivering a firm kick to its chest. After it landed, he moved in to finish it, stabbing it between the eyes then wrenching his knife from its skull.

He shot me a jubilant smile before chuckling a bit. "I did it!"

"That's my man! I knew you could do it!" He ran over to me, his smile still shining brightly on his face. "Never doubted you for a second."

"Thanks for the bode of confidence."

I pecked him on the cheek before handing him his gun. "Hey." I heard a female voice call out.

We both turned around to see Camille and Dino approaching us. "Your mother said we were to relieve you two from watch duty."

"Well you missed all the excitement. We'll head inside after we clean up."

"Want us to give you a hand?" I looked at my father for a second before agreeing to accept his offer. He helped up drag the bodies to the spot we burn them before rejoining Camille for their shift.

"He's trying." Carl said as he set the small pile of bodies on fire.

"I know. So am I but I still feel like it's a farce, ya know?"

"Well…after being let down so many times…I get it. You're scared if you let him back in that you'll just get hurt again."

"Precisely." We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the flames slowly roast the charring corpses. I felt Carl take my hand and lace our fingers together and an eerie calm washed over.

"Thank you for trying." That simple utterance had an immense effect on me, sometimes…just having someone acknowledge that you are actually trying is the best thing that can happen. Even if you fail, even if it feels like you're not doing enough, having someone recognize that you are, in fact, doing enough in a difficult situation, is more than you could ever hope for.

 **Carl POV**

"Hey…you awake?"

I felt Tay stir a bit next to me. "I am now. What's up?"

"Can't really sleep."

"Something on your mind?"

"The past…"

"That's no good." He said in his slightly alluring I-just-woke-up voice. His arm snaked around my midsection, pulling me a bit closer to him. "Wanna talk about it?"

I wanted to tell him about dad but I wasn't up for the wave of emotions that came with it. "Have you ever wondered what happened to your friends from college after you guys parted ways?"

"A lot, yeah. But I have faith in them. I know that they're okay."

"But you aren't 100% certain because you haven't seen them."

Silence briefly filled the room before he spoke again. "This about your people from the prison?"

"Yes…I've always wondered what happened to them."

"Have faith in them."

I stared blankly into the darkness, pondering his statement; he said it like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. I didn't know how to though, I was so worried about Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Tyrese, Sasha, Bob…everyone I had known at the prison was out there in the world, fighting to survive but I had no clue where they were.

"How…how do I-"

"You kinda just do. You look back at how they survived as long as they did and you kind of…just know they'll be okay. I can't explain it but there's this feeling in my heart that I know the people I was friends with will be okay, that they will survive."

"I think I felt that when you left."

He squeezed me a bit tighter. "See…you knew I'd be alright, you based your search for me on that one assumption. What if I didn't even make it out of the city? You still had faith that I was alive…it's just like that. Just sort of this blind hope that the people on your mind will be okay."

We sat in silence once more, nothing but the sound of our breathing and the waves crashing on the shore nearby filled the room. "Do you miss them?"

"All the time."

"Me too…"

"It's okay to miss them."

"You…you missed me when you left, right?"

He sat up slowly and gently turned my head so I was looking at him. "I didn't even make it out of the bed before I started to miss you. I wanted to turn around every second that I was walking, ever second that I was driving…of course I missed you."

"I missed you too." He kissed me ever so softly, letting his hand cup my cheek as he did.

He pulled away after a moment or two then pressed his forehead to mine. "Feel better?"

"A lot better. Sorry I woke you."

"Hey, if I can't be there for stuff like this, what kind of boyfriend would I be? Don't you remember our first night together? I barely knew you and I was there for you."

I laughed a little before nodding. "You're right…You don't think I'm being silly?"

"Not in the least."

"I needed that…thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get that sexy ass of yours some sleep, mom needs us to go on a run tomorrow."

I let my smile grow wider as I settled into a comfortable spot on our bed, shortly after, I felt his arms snake around me. One of his hands found mine and that's how I slept, with our fingers interlaced, a set of warm arms around me, and a smile playing at my lips. It was honestly one of the best night's sleep I'd had in a while.


	7. Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter Seven: Sweet Sacrifice

 **Carl POV**

We had fully adjusted to life at the compound; the almost ritualistic tasks were completed without incident each day but things never seemed dull. I thought after two months here, things would have gone to shit or something big would have happened but so far, no one had come knocking on our door aside from the expected temperature shift.

When the temperature dipped a bit we decided to stock up on a few winter clothes as a precaution. Despite being in California, cold was still a thing and we needed to be prepared for it. So today, Tay's mom decided to send us out on a run to a city a she'd found one day to get a few supplies as well as any coats, pants, and shirts we could find.

"That should do it." Michonne said tossing out bags into the back seat and shutting the door.

"Appreciate the help. We'll be back, if not tonight, then tomorrow morning."

"You two be careful, Tay, take care of him."

"Of course Mistress Michonne, I wouldn't dream of having any harm befall Young Master Carl."

I playfully jabbed him in the ribs. "Knock it off with your terrible British accent."

He leaned in close to my ear and breathily whispered "You weren't complaining about it last night."

"TAY!"

"It's fine. I already know."

"YOU WHAT?!"

Michonne chuckled lightly before sauntering back inside. "Piece of advice, the walls are kind of thin."

Tay found the entire situation incredibly hilarious and fell into a fit of laughter, meanwhile, I stood there, red faced and totally embarrassed. It didn't help that his mom and dad walked out shortly after Michonne went inside.

"What's so funny?" His mom asked.

"Uh, no-nothing! Nothing at all!" I nudged him a bit harder to try to get him to settle down.

"Sorry mom, just something Michonne said to embarrass Carl." He wrapped his arm around me to pull me closer to him before he kissed me on the cheek.

His mom just shook her head before speaking again. "Got your list?"

"Yup."

"Guns?"

"One on my hip, one on his leg, rifles and SMGs in the back."

"Got your bat and baton?"

"In the front seat."

"Food and water?"

"In my bag in the back seat."

"Got your-"

"Mom." He said with a smirk. "You helped us pack last night. You even made us unpack to make sure we didn't miss anything."

"Right…just making sure."

He walked over to her and hugged her tight. "We'll be fine." He pulled away but took her hands in his. "We spent over a year apart, I think we'd be fine for at most a day."

"I know…just…be careful?"

"I will. Promise." He kissed her on the cheek before hugging her one last time.

She looked at me and I could see the concern in her eyes. "Look after him."

"Of course." We had been on numerous runs before but even now she was still extremely concerned for his well-being. I had almost forgotten what it was like to have a parent be so concerned for you.

"Be safe out there."

He looked at his father a bit sternly before nodding. "We will be." He extended his hand towards his father and I could see the shock spread over the older man's face. He slowly reciprocated the gesture, firmly shaking Tay's hand before letting him proceed towards the car.

"Take care of our son, Carl." His mom called after me.

"I will. I promise. We'll be back, at the latest, tomorrow." I got into the car, starting it up and backing it down the road.

We cleared the well-hidden entrance that led to the docks then proceeded towards the road that led to our destination. "Mom seems to be taking a shine to you."

"Really? She still seems like she hates me."

"Babe, she never hated you. She was just worried about me. Besides, I know for a fact she likes you."

"Why, did she say so?"

"Yes, actually. She thinks we're good together and that I should cherish the love I found in this era of reanimated corpses and savage people." He turned to look at me, smiling fondly as he did. "And I am."

"Did…did you just say you loved me."

He pondered my question for a second before nodding. "Yeah, I guess I did."

I stopped the car kind of suddenly, making the seatbelts catch in their housings. "You love me?"

"Yes, Carl Grimes, I do indeed love you. Is that a problem?"

"No…I…I think I love you too…"

"You think?" He questioned incredulously.

"I mean, I've only felt the kind of love you would for family and friends before so…I don't know if the way I feel about you is the love you have for a significant other or something else."

"Well…does your heart kind of flutter when you think of me or hear someone say my name or when you see me?"

"Yes…" I say hesitantly.

"Were you more hurt or pissed when I left?"

"Hurt…"

"Can you imagine going another day apart?"

"Not…it pains me to do so…"

"Are you happier when I'm around?"

"Always." I say with more certainty, by this point I can feel my cheeks heating up.

"Well, sorry to say it but you love me. Know what that means?"

"What does it mean, oh wise one?"

He shoots me that sly grin I've come to appreciate before speaking again. "You're stuck with me."

I smiled a bit. "Wouldn't want it any other way."

"Awww…Carl loves Taaaaay, Carl loves Taaaaay, Carl and Tay, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

"You are so immature." I chuckled before beginning to drive again.

"You love it though…you also love me." He said very matter-of-factly

"Yeah, yeah." I couldn't help but blush a bit at this new revelation. It felt…good to say it. I looked at him again. "Hey, Tay?"

"Yeeeees?"

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"See anything?"

"Nah, looks clear for the most part. A few undead, some crows, I saw a dog go by but other than that nothing's down there."

"Can you start clearing a path?" I heard him chamber a round in his rifle as well as the crunching of bark as he got in a comfortable position.

"Yes, sir." The sounds of suppressed shots filled the air for a couple of minutes before silence returned. "Clear." He shouted before climbing down from his perch.

"Nice work."

"Thanks, Puddin'." He giggled. Admittedly the Harley thing kind of grated on my nerves but after not seeing him for over a month, I kind of missed it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why do you ask?"

"You were staring at me."

"Was I? I'm sorry…I was just thinking."

"Undressing me with your eyes?"

"N-no! It's not anything like that! I swear!"

"I was kidding." He slowly walked towards me, placing a hand on my cheek as he got closer. "What were you thinking about?"

"Just how…your whole Harley Quinn alter ego kind of bothered me when we first met. You were so upbeat and happy, it was weird. You knew you could kick ass and survive and it seemed like you hadn't a care in the world. But after you left, I missed it. So now I treasure it, I appreciate it a lot more because not having it around was weirder than getting used to it."

"I'm not going anywhere. Promise. And if we do get separated, I'll still be here" He gently poked my chest "and here." He lightly kissed my forehead. "Okay?"

"Okay." I said shyly.

"Good. Now let's get going, I kinda wanna sleep in our bed tonight."

"Right. Your mom said that we need to see if we can trudge up any necessities: bottled water, food, weapons, meds, first aid kits, the usual stuff. She also tacked on winter clothes, construction tools, bait for fishing, and…" I squinted at the list in my hand trying to see if I was reading it correctly. "Is this yeast?"

Tay peered over my shoulder at the list in my hands. "Yup, specifically distiller's yeast."

"Why do we need yeast?"

"Helps in the ethanol making process. Ethanol helps fuel the generators that keep the lights on at the docks. I wanted to see if we can find some grain or something to grow wheat so we can make our own yeast."

"Smart. Do you think they'd have any in this town?"

"Never hurts to check."

"Alright, let's get going."

We loaded into the car and slowly drove towards the town. We parked about a half mile outside of the city limits and proceeded the rest of the way on foot. Once there, we sifted through a couple shops, barely finding anything of use then moved on to a clothing store. The front and back doors were barricaded and the windows were blocked with security gates.

"Well what do we do now?"

Tay looked at the roof of the store then at me. "I got this." He took off his rifle, his bag, and his bat before taking a few steps back.

"Umm…what the hell are you doing?"

He gave me a confident smirk. "I told you I was a gymnast; I probably should have mentioned that my friends at the gym taught me a few things too." He darted forward with an acute burst of speed and ran up the side of the building. His right hand hooked onto the edge of the roof right before his left hand did. He pulled himself up over the ledge and shortly after his feet vanished I heard heavy breathing and laughing.

"You okay?"

"Fine…I just haven't done that in a couple of months."

"You're getting rusty, now help me up." I passed him his rifle and bat before jumping to grab his hand. He hauled me up the building then pointed over at the access hatch. "Our way in I'm guessing."

"You guessed correctly. It's locked though."

"I could just shoot it."

"I have my lock picking kit. Besides, we might need the bullets." He pulled out a small fabric pouch, unrolling it before pulling out a couple tools and setting to work on the padlock.

"How long is this gonna take you?"

He smiled over his shoulder at me before undoing the lock. "Not long at all." He flipped open the hatch and took a quick look around. He took out his flashlight, casting the beam in different directions before resurfacing. "Kick some rocks down there, see if anything comes."

I did as he asked, listening the small stones hit the floor inside the building. We waited for a few minutes and after not hearing any movement we decided to enter. "After you."

"Such a gentleman." He dropped down through the hatch and I heard his boots hit the ground not soon after. "I'll catch you, come on."

He must have seen the apprehension on my face. "I'm not particularly fond of dark holes."

"I'll change that when we get back."

"How?"

"With foreplay, lube, and patience."

"TAY!"

"You asked, now get down here." I simply groaned before squatting down in front of the hatch and dropping down. He caught my hips on the way down, helping slow my descent. He pecked me on the lips when I steadied myself, sort of as a reward for jumping I guess. "See, wasn't that bad now was it?"

"Shut up, let's get going." I took out my flashlight and my revolver before sweeping through the store. I took one side and Tay took the other. "Clear on my end."

"Same here. Remember, pants, shirts, maybe boots if you can find them, women's 8-10 men's 10-11."

"Roger that."

I set about collecting thicker clothing items but as I rummaged through toppled sales racks, something caught my eye. I had unintentionally wandered into what must have been the 'adult' section of this store. I strode about the toppled displays, spotting panties, bras, briefs, and other 'sexy' underwear when a mostly intact display of jockstraps drew my attention.

"This is considered sexy? Don't see the allure in having your ass hanging out." I said to myself.

"That's because you have no imagination."

"JESUS FUCK! Tay, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry. But hey, these things look pretty hot on guys, at least to me."

"I just can't imagine it."

"Okay, close your eyes." I did as he asked, a tad hesitantly, but I still shut my eyes. "Now, picture this; you walk into our room after a long day's work and you're eager to get on the bed and get a back rub from yours truly."

"Your back rubs are great."

"Shhh, I know. Anyway, you walk in and see me, slipping out of my clothes with my back to you, and as my jeans fall to the floor, you see me clad in nothing but a red and black jock strap, my ass hanging out and my nice bulge peaking passed my thigh. Doesn't that sound kinda hot?"

I tried hiding my face in the shadows of the dimly lit store but I think he noticed I was blushing. "Umm, yeah, I-I guess."

He tilted my chin up with his index finger, forcing me to make eye contact with him. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"We-we need to get moving."

"As you wish." He sauntered deeper into the adult section and I saw him pick up a few things before heading towards the doors. "We can move most of this shit ourselves. The biggest concern is the vending machine."

"Wait, shouldn't we try and find a quieter way out?"

"You're right. Let's try the back door." We rushed towards the door and found that another padlock was securing chains that held the door shut. "I got this." He knelt down before the lock, grabbing his lock picking kit once again. After a moment or two I heard the chains hit the ground and the door slowly open. "Ready?"

"I got you covered."

"What a mighty fine haul, wouldn't you say so Mr. Grimes."

"Drop the accent, jackass. But yeah, we got some great stuff, found good clothes and shoes, decent amout of food, and even s bit ammo."

"Nothing to make yeast though."

"We can look more tomorrow. For now, we should get anything else we can before we get some rest."

"Agreed." Tay shifted the car into drive and cruising down the road. We sat in amicable silence for a while before I spotted something on the horizon. "Hey, I see something I think you're gonna like."

"And that is?"

"Grain silo." I pointed towards the looming figure in the distance. "Guess there must be a farm out there."

"Then that's where we're headed. Hang on." He steadily pressed down on the gas, weaving around a few stray walkers and burnt out cars, getting us closer and closer to our destination.

We pulled to a stop in front of a well-worn farm house that looked like it would topple over if a strong wind blew. The barn was in slightly better shape but still looked like it was erected well before the fall of society. We immediately fanned out, clearing the farm house and the barn before heading over to the silo. Tay tried the door but it was stuck so we both had to heave it open. We were in luck, upon opening the door, grain came pouring out and didn't stop until it was about 2 yards away from the entrance.

I'd never seen Tay so excited over a find before, it was kind of cute how he got so giddy and started rolling around in the grain, making what he called grain-angels. He was a dork and an idiot but he was also one of the greatest sources of happiness in my life.

"Think we got enough shit?"

"Oh for sure. We'll be set for a while with this. We can add this to the crops mom wants to grow and start making ethanol for the generator and maybe one of the cars."

"Which one of the cars can run on this kind of fuel?"

"Apparently, mom and Dino converted the Prius' engine so that it can run on ethanol. It's not perfect but it runs well enough. They just have to monitor it for possible internal corrosion and be ready to distill it if the car starts acting up."

"I didn't know you knew so much about cars."

"Not so much cars but the chemistry behind getting them to run. Part of being a bio major was having to learn chemistry and with my course load, I was on the verge of a minor in chemistry."

"Can you break that down for me a bit? What's the difference between a major and a minor?"

He reclined back in the seat, staring up at the ceiling. "Well, your major is what your main focus is when you study. I was a bio major so most of my classes were biology classes. A minor…well for me the classes I took fulfilled the requirement for a minor in that subject. Minors can sometimes align with your major or be the complete opposite. I know that's kind of vague but that's the best way to I can describe it."

"I get it, your explanation was a little wordy but I got it."

"Good, sometimes I ramble and forget my point."

"You're cute when you ramble though."

He looked over at me smirking a bit before a full smile broke out across his face. "I try my best. You wanna take first watch or should I?"

"I think I'm going to rest up for a bit."

"Alright. I'm gonna drive a bit, see how far I get before I get tired."

"Don't push yourself too hard." I leaned over and pecked him on the lips before relaxing in my seat."

"I won't. I promise." I shut my eyes upon hearing the car start and I tried to let the steady motion of the car lull me to sleep. I hadn't gone completely under just yet, but I was relaxed.

I didn't know how long we'd been driving but it didn't feel like that long but for some odd reason I was being shaken awake. I looked up and saw Tay, still focused on the road, his face a bit more serious than it was when I fell asleep.

"Carl, wake up."

"What's going on?" I tried to sit up but his hand held me down.

"We're being tailed and I'm pretty sure they think I'm alone."

"Shit." I reached for my AR but Tay stopped me.

"No, grab the TMP from the glove compartment." I did as he asked, resting the compact weapon on my lap. I saw him un holster his gun before glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Pray that all my years of watching The Fast and the Furious movies pays off."

"It worked that one time you tried it."

"Yeah, and the next time I tried it I almost flipped the car."

"Well…worth a shot."

"Alright. Get ready. 3. 2…what the fuck is that? Shit!" He slammed on the brakes, jerking us to an abrupt stop. "Carl…"

I looked through the windshield and saw that there was a small blockade in the middle of the road. Two pickup trucks and about 6 men blocked our path. Suddenly their headlights flashed on, effectively blinding us.

"Hey there, boys. Why don't you step out of the vehicle for us?"

"Tay…"

"I'll get us out of this." He leaned out of the window, nodding his towards the guy I assume was the leader. "Hey there, sorry but we can't do that. We're just trying to get home, mind letting us through?"

"Sorry, can't do that. We're under orders to take anything and everything we find, whether or not it belongs to anyone. So how about you step out of the car and hand over all your weapons, ammunition, food, water, and…well anything else we want? Make this easy on yourself and cooperate."

He ducked his head back inside the car, still looking straight ahead at the men before us. "Tay…what are we gonna do? We could probably take them if we had to."

"I have a plan. Get your gun ready." I saw him shut off the lights and take a look into the rearview mirror before slamming the car into reverse, swerving around the car behind us. We ducked our heads down as the car the unleashed a spray of bullets in our direction. Tay steered the car so we ended up facing the way we'd come before shifting gears again and gunning it. "LAY DOWN COVER FIRE BUT DON'T YOU DARE GET SHOT."

"I've already been shot once, not looking to do it again!" I hung slightly out of the window, firing at the three vehicles behind us. Bullets flew towards our car, coming through the back window as well as hitting the back of the car.

"Aim at the drivers or at the guys shooting at us!"

"Hold the car steady!"

"You get a 5 second window to line up a shot before I swerve again, go!" True to his word, the car didn't swerve long enough for me to line up a couple of shots with the driver of the first car and his gunman. Their car drove into a ditch beside the road, kicking up a lot of dirt in the process. "Nice job!" A bullet whizzed past his head not even a second after he said that, he gave me a stern look, silently saying 'take care of that'. I nodded before aiming out the window again.

I fired a few more shots before I was being yanked back inside by the hem of my jeans. Tay turned a corner incredibly sharply, jetting down a road I didn't even know was there. I heard the trucks zoom by, not making the turn in time. After a couple minutes of driving I noticed they weren't following us.

"This is weird, they were pushing us this way and now they just…stopped."

"Wishful thinking, but maybe they didn't see me make the turn."

"Not likely, they were tailing us pretty hard."

"Fuck. It's probably a trap. They were leading us somewhere, and this is probably it." We pulled into this deserted looking rest stop. The only buildings were a bar and a gas station.

"You got a plan for this one too?"

"I do…but it's a shitty one."

"Better than no plan at all I suppose."

"We know they came this way. They even ditched their car."

"I doubt they went far. Fan out and find them."

I could hear footfalls outside the bar, glancing over at Tay, I saw that he had his gun ready. He gave me a short nod of reassurance in his best attempt of calming my nerves. I worked…for about two seconds. Suddenly a hail of gunfire tore through the front wall. The spray of lead lasted for a minute or so before it finally died down.

"Think we killed them?"

"That'd be no fun. I was kinda hoping that I would get to beat the shit out of the brat. He killed two of our boys, the boss won't be happy about that."

Their footsteps got closer but stopped for a brief second, the sound of an approaching vehicle making them halt. "Hey, you fuckers need help?"

"Yeah, we're gonna check the bar before heading up the road. We're looking for a brat in a sheriff's hat and some joker in red and black with a ponytail."

"Got it."

I saw Tay slide deeper into the shadows, his dark clothing perfectly camouflaging him amongst the shadows. I slid deeper under the bar, pressing myself flat against the back of it. The doors flew open and I heard at least three different sets of footsteps echo in the dark. One person went left; one went right then I heard one come straight towards the bar. He climbed on top of it and sprayed bullets only a foot away from me.

"Shit, thought the little prick would be back here." He dropped down onto the floor facing away from the entrance. "Hey, there's still booze here!"

"Shit really? I thought we cleaned this place out." A voice called from my left. He walked over and I heard him pick up the bottle Tay and I had left to lure them into our trap.

"You idiots can drink that after we find them."

"We're right here." Tay fired at the man closest to him and I fired two shots, both of which found their respective targets. The men in front of me both hit the ground and before they could figure out that I'd put a bullet in each of their calves, they had two bullets in their chests.

Gunfire tore apart Tay's hiding spot and I heard him groan before he tumbled to the ground. I popped up and saw a man pointing a gun at his head while Tay laid on the floor, clutching his left leg. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

We had reached an impasse; he shoots, I shoot. Suddenly I heard another door fly open and before I could blink, I was being tackled to the ground, my gun skidding across the old hardwood floor. I did my best to fight back but the guy had me in a full Nelson before I could get a good punch in. I tried kicking him and slipping out of the hold but he just slammed me to the ground, making my vision blur. I heard Tay scream something before a sharp thud traveled through the air.

"LET. HIM. GO." I felt my hair being yanked rather roughly as my vision began to return. I saw Tay aiming at the guy who just had him at gunpoint. He was on the ground and his AKMSU was on the other side of the room.

"You think we care about losing some of our own? Ain't the first time, won't be the last. In fact, we just replace the ones we lose. This one right here…he's a start." I felt a couple of light slaps to my cheek.

"You touch him again and I'll make sure you die a slow, painful death."

"Take a good look around before you go threatening people." We both glanced around the dark room, seeing more figures appear through the main entrance. I knew we had no way out of this and if I knew it, Tay knew it too. He still refused to drop his gun.

I heard the all too familiar sound of rounds being chambered and my heart all but stopped, I could hear gunfire that had yet to happen and I decided to do something to ensure at least one of us lived. I mentally apologized to Judith, to mom…and to dad before I spoke out.

"WAIT! Please…I'll…I'll go with you. Just please let him be…please just take me instead."

The room fell silent before the brute who had a grip on my hair shook me a bit while laughing. "I like this one, kids got heart. He's kind of cute too, can I keep him?"

The man Tay had at gunpoint rose to his feet dusting himself off. He looked over at me then back at Tay. His arm flashed out towards my general direction and someone pointed their gun at me. I saw Tay's normally deep brown eyes seemingly flash red for an instant.

"You can keep him; we'll take him as a form of compensation for out trouble."

"Goodie, goodie. I'm gonna have fun with you." The man holding me purred into the back of my neck. It was sickening. I never wanted anyone else to ever do that to me aside from Tay.

"You know the rules; he has to be broken in first."

"I know, I know. I can still visit him though."

"Take him to the truck. We'll be there shortly." The man locked eyes with Tay and it almost looked like he was daring him to pull the trigger now. "You shoot me, they kill him. Is that what you want? Try it big man. I dare you."

I was being carted off just as more men surrounded them. I didn't struggle, I just lamented in my fate. I saw the man exit the circle or gunmen and make his way to the truck I had just been tossed in.

I heard him calling out for me and caught glimpses of him beating the crap out of a few guys trying to reach the truck. Even with a bullet in his leg and blood streaming down his thigh, he was still fighting. I knew he wouldn't get to me but a small part of me wished he would. I hoped he was still alive. I could live with that. Even if he was lying there, a bullet in his head, I would cling to the hope that he was alive.

"Ronan is gonna like you. You're feisty, I can tell. You'll make a great addition to The Fallen Angels." I stayed silent, looking down at my feet. "Hey, boy! Look at me when I speak to you!" I glared up at him through my messy hair, locking eyes with him. "Look at that glare, you've got a fire inside you I can tell."

"Bite me."

"Don't tempt me." The large man beside me said.

"Easy there, Benny-Boy. Remember the rules."

"Yeah, yeah. I hope he breaks easily, Ed. I can be impatient when I find new play things."

"You always are. Try and be more gentle with this one, I doubt there are more like him in this world."

"Okay." I felt a chill run down my spine as the large man smiled at me. He brought his hand up to my face, naturally I recoiled in disgust but he looked fondly at me. "Don't worry, you'll come around. They always do."

All I could think about was whether or not Tay was okay. He was tough but I had a lingering doubt that even he could take on that many people especially if he was injured.


	8. Maiden in the Steel Castle

Hi everyone! I finished reviewing my story so and I'm so happy with the feedback I've been getting, I'm posting two chapters this week! I appreciate all the support, views, and visits. Please review and comment. I appreciate it. ^.^

Chapter Eight: Maiden in the Steel Castle

 **Tay POV  
**  
"Ah…shit my fucking head." I slowly opened my eyes, trying to adjust to my dark surroundings I saw a brown speck peeking out from behind the bar, everything started coming back to me when a sudden pain shot through my leg and at that very instant, vivid memories flooded back to me. I tore off my sleeve and tied off my thigh to stop the bleeding. Luckily it was a through and through so I wouldn't have to dig the bullet out. Unfortunately, with the dull throbbing in my leg being suppressed, my mind turned to Carl and where he might be.

 _"Carl! Carl! Get off of me, damn it!" I did my best to fight off the group of men surrounding me, getting a couple of good shots in and even managing to snap one of their arms and fling the person it was attached to into another man._

 _"Son of a bitch!" I felt a fist connect with my cheek, then another, and another. Eventually I tumbled to the ground, still trying to fight, still ignoring the pain in my leg. The thought of those bastards getting away with Carl was my driving force._

 _I managed to get back to my feet and keep fighting. I fought harder than I had in a while but a leg check from someone behind me brought me to my knees. I caught a glimpse of the truck Carl had been tossed into and something in me made me shout out his name in a loud, shrill, voice. That's when I felt something heavy catch be in the back of the head…_

"Gotta get back…lost a lot of blood." I hobbled back to the car, retrieving our stashed supplies before climbing into the front seat. I placed Carl's hat in the passenger seat, letting my gaze linger a bit before starting the car and driving in the direction we came from just hours ago.

The sun was high in the sky when I finally arrived back at the docks. I stumbled towards the door, managing to make it over the threshold before collapsing. Michonne and mom were closest to the door, tending to some potted herbs so they caught site of me first.

"Asante'!" Mom shouted as she and Michonne rushed to my side. "He's bleeding; we need to get him upstairs."

"Tay, where's Carl?" Michonne questioned as she helped me to my feet.

"They took him…"

"What?! Who?"

"The-these thugs with angel wings on their clothes. They followed us out of town and took him."

I was helped upstairs and into the bathroom where I began recounting our endeavor, everyone had heard the commotion and rushed to my side. Once we were in the bathroom, mom helped me out of my jeans before taking a look at my wound. She said that despite losing a considerable amount of blood, I would be fine. She cleaned and dressed my leg, telling me that if I needed blood, we were a perfect match and she could give some of hers, but while she was examining my face, she said something that caught my attention.

"I think I know who took him…" She said softly.

"Who?! Who took him?" I shouted, abruptly looking at her before she held me still again.

"The Fallen Angels. They're a group I've had a run in with before…I followed them to their compound, thinking I could take them down. I was mistaken."

"How many of them are there?"

"Too many to take down by myself, hell even if it was Dino and I there are still too many." I gently grabbed her hand, prying it away from my still bloodied face.

"How many, mom?!"

"Too many for even you to take down!"

"HOW MANY?!"

She looked at a spot on the floor. "An entire battalion...so about a thousand people."

"Do you still know where it it?"

"About ten miles from here."

"Tay…" Camille tried.

"We are NOT leaving him!"

"W-"

"WE'RE NOT LEAVING HIM!"

The room fell eerily silent. I realized I was almost out of my seat, reclining against the back of the chair, I tried to calm my racing heart. "Tay…we aren't suggesting that in the slightest. He's one of us and he's your boyfriend, of course we're going after him."

Camille's soft voice soothed me a bit and I could feel my anger dissipate. "However, we are not making a move until we have a plan and you are healed." Michonne said calmly.

I wanted to argue with Michonne but she was right, I was useless in my current state. I could hardly see out of my left eye, I couldn't stand without assistance, and I definitely couldn't run. "Shit…"

"Look, I know you want to rescue him as soon as possible but you are in no condition to fight."

"Fine…but I need you and Camille to do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"I need you to scout out their place, from a distance of course. If possible I need a rough map of the outside of the compound. The more detailed you can be, the better."

"Way ahead of you. I was even thinking of having us watch their patrols and how often they come and go."

"As always, I can count on you, Camille. Get going as soon as you can, mom, can you go with them to show them where it is?"

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, you did a good job patching me up, now I just need food and rest."

"I'll get you something to eat." Brittany said as she turned to leave the room.

"Thanks Britt." I called after her.

"I'll help you to bed."

"Thanks, Dino. Oh, I managed to bring back a good amount of supplies, everything is in the car."

"I'll help them unload it after we get you to bed, Sharon?"

"Already on it."

Dino helped me into my room, clearing off my bed for me before helping me into it. "Need anything else?"

"Get me the 15 pound weights from down stairs and my strategy book over on the table."

"Son, you should really take it easy."

I glared at him and I saw him visibly tense. I decided to ignore the fact he called me his son and focus on the fact that he was denying me what I asked for. "I won't be lifting the weights now, but if I'm going to be stuck in bed, letting this tunnel in my leg heal, I'm damn sure not going to be letting that time fritter away without doing something useful."

He sighed a bit before looking over at the table where my strategy book was. "I know you want him back…I know you want to start planning now…but I'm telling you, you need rest. You won't be able to come up with an effective strategy in your current state."

He was right. My head was still a bit foggy and I barely had any energy. "Fine…after I eat I'll rest but while I'm eating, I'm going to start a strategy and when Michonne and Camille get back I'll add to it."

"I guess that's the best I can hope for. Just…don't push yourself too hard." He handed me my book and left to get the weights.

I wasted no time in planning out different scenarios for getting Carl back. I knew time was of the essence, I figured they'd keep him alive for at least a week but I didn't want him to be there any longer than he had to. I made a general plan that would suit the attributes of our group and have maximum efficiency but without a general layout of where these bastards were held up, I couldn't really do much.

A little while later, Brittany and Dino returned, Britt with food and Dino with my weights. They asked if I needed anything else, I asked for an IV drip because I was pretty sure I was dehydrated, other than that I just needed to relax. I knew I couldn't do that though, not with the spot next to me still empty…

 **Carl POV**

"Get in there runt, the boss wants to see you!" I was shoved roughly into an, admittedly lavish, room. I hit the carpet as I fell forward. I glared over at the man who'd dragged me from the truck to this room, wishing my hands weren't bound so I could make him regret ever laying a finger on me.

I looked up and saw a tall, broad shouldered man, clad in a black leather jacket, black cargo pants, and well-worn combat boots, standing with his back to us. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? Who's this little alabaster skinned shit stain?" I finally saw his face, he had a goatee peppered with graying hairs, thick eyebrows, slicked back, jet black hair, and a haughty grin plastered across his face.

"A replacement for the men we lost. Ben took a liking to him so we brought him along."

"Ah, so you're Ben's newest play thing. Hope he doesn't break this one." The man standing before me cackled. "You got a name, shit stain?" I refused to answer, I simply rose to my feet and looked around the room.

"He's talking to you!" The man behind me shoved me a bit, out of reflex, I turned and kicked him in the side of his knee before kneeing him in the chin. He fell on his back and after a second he was back to his feet pointing a gun at my head.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, this one's a fighter! I like that." He glared at the man pointing the gun at me. "Get your gun out of his face! That's just rude…he is our guest after all." After waving the man off, he draped his arm around me, hugging me close. "You've already met Eddy-boy over there, I'm Ronan and I'm in charge of this little commune of degenerates, fuck ups, and outcasts. I would shake your hand but your hands are…sort of…preoccupied. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

He dragged me along with him and the man, who's name I'm guessing was Ed or some variation on it, showing me the ins and outs of this giant complex that these despicable lowlifes called home. He showed me where his 'followers' slept, where they sorted their finds from runs people went on, where people traded points or something for supplies, but when we came across a room that was guarded by two men with assault rifles, he steered me in the other direction, saying that zone was off limits. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say it was their armory.

Our final stop on his little tour was what I assume was a maintenance room. It was a huge room on the ground floor with a furnace, a wide-open floor and a high ceiling with a short walkway overhead. There was a plethora of pipes, all in various sizes jutting out of the floor and climbing up the interior of the building. Access to said pipes was barred by high chain link fencing. I looked down at the floor and there was a drain in the middle of the floor with rust colored streaks flowing towards it from various spots around the floor. It donned on me that those spots had to be where people were beaten and tortured and I felt panic rise inside me.

"This…is where people realize who they really are." He pointed at the man accompanying us. "Ed…who are you? I am Ronan."

"Ask anyone here, they'll say the same thing. They are here to serve me. They are here to provide for me. They are an extension of me." He paused, staring into my eye. "And soon, you will be too. Now, how soon we get there is up to you. We do owe you for killing 4 of my men but since Benny0boy had taken such a shine to you, we'll try not to damage you too much." I saw his arm cock back and I instinctively ducked under his punch before elbowing him in the stomach.

"RONAN!"

Ronan waved him off. "It's alright…I like this one…he's got MOXIE! Hold his arms." Ed did as he commanded, holding me as best he could. Ronan lined up another strike but I ducked once again. The blow connected with Ed's face and I used this opportunity to lean my weight against him and deliver a double kick to Ronan's chest, I tossed Ed over my shoulder and delivered a kick to the side of his face.

"WANT SOME MORE?!"

Both men staggered to their feet, looking more than just slightly ticked off. Ed looked at Ronan for guidance but Ronan's eyes never left me. "Take him to the hole. We're gonna have to start there before we can beat some sense into him."

"Right. I'll go get Caesar and Darren." Ed left the room, leaving Ronan and I alone.

"You've got a fire inside you, the likes of which I haven't seen since I brought Ed into the group. But that fire has dulled considerably…it's a shame." Ronan began pacing around me, looking me up and down. I didn't exactly favor being looked at the way he was looking at me, like he was appraising my worth. "You, my dear shit stain, will make a great addition to our little group."

Ed returned with two men both at least 4 inches taller than him and 100 pounds heavier than him. They walked over to me and tried grabbing me but I backed away. They looked over at Ed, who had a nice gash on the right side of his face thanks to me, he nodded towards me right before the two men managed to corner and subdue me. The carried me out of the room, up a flight of stairs and into a hallway with a few doors lining both sides. Ronan opened the one at the end of the hall, revealing a small, dark space not even big enough for me to stretch out.

"Welcome to your new home. The men cut my hands free before tossing me inside and slamming the door behind me. I was left alone in the dark with only a sliver of light coming in from under the door. "Now…consider this your time out room. You will be left in here until I think you've learned to behave. After the stunt you pulled with me and my right-hand man Eddy-boy, I think you'll be in there for a while. Ed, the usual soundtrack when you get the chance."

"Right, boss. I'll get right on that."

I heard footfalls leaving the area and I immediately tried to formulate a plan of escape." I looked around the room a bit before looking up, I leapt up towards the ceiling and upon making contact with it, I found out that it was solid concrete. I cursed to myself before sitting down on the floor. I looked at my wrist, my gaze immediately falling on the hair tie Tay gave me when we had first met. I ran my fingers along the dark red fabric, recalling the times he helped me put my hair up so I could see what I was doing or just as a form of bonding.

I slowly started to recall the times we stayed up talking while he played in my hair. I'd sit between his legs and let him do as he pleased while we talked or while I read one of the books his mom had picked up. One night while I was reading The Glass Castle, one of Tay's favorites, he put a particularly elaborate braid in my hair and stuck a wild Chicory he picked from one of the hills near the docks in it. He said it looked cute on me and added a pop of color to my pale skin and contrasted nicely with my hair. I didn't take it out for a day or two and the look on his face every time he saw it made me smirk a bit.

A loud bang against the door pulled me from my thoughts. "Hey, runt! We got a little gift for you, courtesy of Ronan." Soon after that statement, loud music began playing right outside the door. I recognize it as that annoying song that Rebecca Black produced. "What do you know, today IS Friday!" Ed cackled outside the door.

The music wouldn't be so bad if it was at a lower volume but it was just so overwhelming, especially in the dark. I covered my ears and backed as far away from the door as I could but it was no use, that annoying voice of here penetrated my eardrums. Shutting my eyes made it worse because all I could hear was that annoying song.

The song droned on for hours upon hours and I just accepted the fact that I wouldn't stop anytime soon. I had tried to enjoy it but that was short lived. Eventually, I was reduced to a ball on the floor. The music finally stopped but I could still hear it in my head. The door opened and I was dragged into the hallway, getting tossed against the wall before being taken down the stairs that lead to the room I guess was the torture room. I could barely hear anything besides the rigging in my ears and that stupid song.

I felt my hands being tied behind my back just before I was pulled down to the floor and chained to a bar bolted into the floor. I finally looked up at the person who had hauled me down here and I noticed it was Ed. I tried my best to scowl but it probably came off less menacing than I intended.

"Little runt, had to get stitches because of you."

"Well…now you have a story to tell. 'I got my ass handed to me by some punk kid.'"

He punched me in the face, sending me right to the ground. "Ronan isn't here. Ben isn't here. Neither of them will save you if I start beating the living shit out of you." He kicked me a few times in the stomach before backing off.

I coughed a bit before glaring up at him. "If you're gonna kill me, just do it."

He walked out of my line of sight and grabbed something from the wall. "Oh…I'm not gonna kill you. I'm just gonna hurt you really, really, really bad."

I heard a handle being turned before a burst of cold water caught me in the stomach. Apparently, he grabbed a high powered hose and decided I needed a bath. He continued to spray me; I could feel my core body temperature drop tremendously. I started shaking and trying to turn so my boots were intercepting most of the water but he just moved around me.

After what felt like 20 solid minutes, the water stopped. A bit or it had gotten into my mouth and I was trying to hack it up, however, as soon as I caught my breath, Ed walked over and grabbed me by my chin and yelled "WHO ARE YOU?!"

I looked him dead in the eye and said "I'm Carl Grimes."

He moved his hands away from my face and muttered to himself. "Ah, you little pain in the ass."

"Ed…you…you honestly think I'd break after a sensory overload, a short beating, and getting sprayed with some cold water? You really are underestimating my resolve."

"Is that a challenge, runt? Alright then. Let's step things up a notch."

 **Tay POV**

"How is he?" My mother asked.

"Better. His leg is healing well thanks to the antibiotics we found. Also the blood transfusion was a success as far as I can tell." Michonne replied.

"Good. Is he still…ya know?"

"Training his butt off? Yes. He's waiting for the all clear to start using his right leg again and as soon as that happens, he's going to start strengthening it so it becomes less of a hindrance."

"I figured…how was the scouting with Camille?"

"It went well; the girl is even smarter than she looks. She analyzed some of patterns their guards walked and did an approximation of how large the place is just from walking to our scouting position. I can see why he tasked her with helping to formulate a plan." Michonne looked up and saw the look on my mother's face, it was a look she recognized immediately, causing her to smile sympathetically. "He'll be okay…I know you're worried about him but he's a fighter. He's strong. He's also a bit bull headed and stubborn but he's got a good heart. He'll be fine." She patted my mother on the shoulder before packing up the examining tools she had laid out and exiting the room.

Mom walked over to my bed, carefully moving my notebooks out of the way before taking a seat. "How are you feeling today?"

"Irritable."

"So same as usual?"

"Yup."

She sighed a bit. "I know these last two weeks have been hard on you, I know you miss Carl, and I know you're eager to go after him.

"Thank you for stating the obvious. We done here?"

"Remember who you're talking to, I'm still your mother. Anyway, you are still injured, and despite the wound closing nicely, you're still supposed to be resting."

"Mom, you know me, I can't be idle for too long. It's even worse knowing that my boyfriend is out there, getting tortured, and beaten, and maybe even raped by that behemoth that grabbed him! I need…I need to keep getting stronger to save him…and this stupid hole in my leg isn't going to stop me. I'm going to keep powering through this stupid injury and get him back."

She looked at me sternly. "We will help you with that, but you need to listen to us and rest! You remember those times when you were younger and you rushed your recovery and you felt worse afterwards? This is one of those times, Asante'. Take it easy for a bit. If you insist on doing something, keep working on our plan of attack, but do NOT keep working out. Do you understand me?"

I looked down at my hands shyly. "Yes, mom."

She pushed my hair out of my face before kissing me on the forehead. "You need a haircut."

I tugged at my bangs that once barely reached the apples of my cheeks, now they hang by my chin. The rest of my hair fell to just below my shoulders. "I suppose…"

"You used to fight me tooth and nail when I suggested cutting your hair."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Well that was when you wanted it all off, now you're just suggesting I trim it."

"That's true…Can I get you anything?"

"Can you make me some tea? I'm kinda tired."

"Sure. Be back in a bit." I collected my things as mom left the room, placing them in a neat pile on the floor.

For once I was actually tired but more than anything I was scared. I was scared that those bastards had killed Carl or were doing unspeakable things to him. It made me angry, which made me want to train. But I could hardly bring myself to move after the last few workout sessions I put myself through. I looked over at Carl's hat that Michonne had put on the table for me the day I got back and as soon as my eyes fell upon the worn brown fabric, I felt a pang of hurt rip through my chest.

My mind drifted off and I found myself recalling a particularly rough night we had together. We had an argument about something stupid and he'd gone to bed ahead of me. I was about to climb in next to him and something hit me, would we still cuddle even if we were mad at each other? I decided we would because no stupid argument was going to stop me from showing him I still cared about him.

I slid in next to him and pulled him into my chest, squeezing him tightly. He asked if I was still mad at him, I said yes but went on to say that despite being mad at him, I wasn't going to stop caring for him. I felt him relax a bit in my arms as he went quiet. After a minute or two he said he was still mad at me but he slightly contradicted himself by scooting backwards into me and intertwining our fingers. I kissed the back of his head before settling in to my usual spot and nodding off.

A few hours later I felt abrupt movement in my arms and my first instinct was to reach for my gun but after doing so, I realized it was just carl thrashing about and groaning. I shook him a tiny bit, calling his name and as he woke up I saw panic in his eyes; he threw a punch that nearly connected with my face but I blocked his arm before grabbing his shoulders and telling him he was awake. He settled down before bursting into tears. He'd had another night terror but this time, instead of him dying, he watched me slowly get consumed by walkers and then become one.

He sobbed into my chest for a while, I simply held him, reassuring him that it wouldn't happen. He asked me how I could be sure that it wouldn't. I decided to level with him, I said I wasn't sure but reflecting on my track record, I was going to be around for a while and that if I wasn't trying so hard to survive for myself, then I was doing so for the people in my life. I told him that him, my mother, Camille, Michonne, my friends both living and dead, as well as my family both living and dead, gave me reason to keep fighting even when I knew the odds were against me.

He peered into my eyes and I could feel my heart melt. I think that was the moment I knew I loved him. I saw levity in his eyes. I saw freedom. I saw an escape from the harsh new reality that forced people to fight for survival. In those deep ice-colored eyes, I found serenity and peace, things I had not known for a very long time. I felt that if I let my gaze linger and focused intently on his eyes, my problems, uncertainty, and fear would dissipate instantly.

My mind suddenly flashed to the last time I saw his eyes; there was fear in them. He wanted me to help him but I knew all he saw in mine was rage. I'd let this happen, I had let him get taken by those thugs. I think he knew that we were out of options and did what he did to try and save us both…I hoped he'd be okay at that moment in time but I wanted to fight for him, I tried to fight for him. It was an act based in futility. However, I now knew that I would not let him stay there any longer than it took me to heal properly. The day I no longer felt a weakness in my leg was the day I went after him, no questions about it.

"Hey, Camille, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up Brittany?"

"Have you noticed how aggressive Tay has been the last few weeks?"

"You mean ever since Carl went missing?"

"Yes, exactly."

"He's been getting worse with each passing day. He snapped at you that one time you tried to ask him, he glared at his mother for trying to stop him from training, he took a swing at Michonne that one time when she grabbed his arm, and he almost yelled at me when we were talking about strategies for infiltrating their compound."

"He's been kind of a dick…"

"I understand that he's really upset about Carl being taken, I understand the stress of this ordeal is a lot for him to deal with, but him being so aggressive is a bit much."

"I think we should talk to him about it. The stress on his mental state from being there and watching Carl getting taken as well as having to get back here and heal from an injury is more than likely doing more damage than we're seeing. Everyone has their way of dealing with stress and his, in this case, happens to be lashing out at people. Normally, he'd be active and move but now…he can't move around as much because of his leg and feeling weak so the pressure is mounting…"

"Look at you going all psych major on this dilemma."

"I've been giving this a decent amount of thought I just needed to piece some things together first."

"So, how are we going to remedy this behavior?"

"I say we talk to him, that's all I can think of besides kicking his ass."

"Wow, you spent almost 4 years at school and our only options are violence and talking."

"Got any better ideas?"

"Not really." Camille closed the book she was reading before getting up and striding down the hallway towards Michonne's room. "Hey, am I interrupting anything?"

Michonne was sharpening her sword at the moment. "Not really, what's up?"

"We need your help. We need to talk to Tay about his absurdly high aggression lately." Brittany said, cutting straight to the point.

"I'm glad you two are offering to help, I know if I tried it it'd come off a bit hostile." S

he sheathed her sword before standing and placing the blade around her shoulders. The three women padded down the hallway, stopping at my mom's room as well as Dino's room, explaining their intentions to them before proceeding towards my room.

I heard the plethora of footsteps come to a stop inside my room as I was doing hanging sit ups. I stopped after finishing my set. I gracefully climbed down before cleaning my face with a towel. "Can I help you guys with something? Why are we all congregating in my room?"

"We need to talk to you." Mom said.

"If it's not about getting Carl back, I don't want to hear it." I began practicing my kicks waiting for them to leave but they all stood there, glued to the floor.

"We wanted to talk to you about how angry you've been lately. You've been snapping at all of us more and more frequently and it's getting out of hand." Michonne stated flatly.

"I'm worried that the stress of Carl being abducted fight in front of you has strained your already fragile mental state and caused you to cope by lashing out at us. We wanted to ask you to step back and reflect on your behavior and dial back the anger from a 10 to a 1."

I paused mid-kick after hearing the two of them speak, gingerly setting my foot on the floor. "I'm sorry if my anger is an issue, but it has occurred to me that _none_ of you witnessed someone you love being abducted by a group of thugs, one of which seemed to want to sexually assault said person. None of you were fighting to try and save them with a bleeding hole in your leg. None of you were knocked out and left for dead. None of you had to drive back here, spend weeks recuperating while that person is going through God knows what or possibly dead. NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M GOIN THROUGH SO IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO HELP ME STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!"

I stormed passed them, leaping over the railing of the walkway. I dropped down to the main floor, rolling as I hit the concrete trying to disperse the impact. I strode off towards the door and had just gotten my hand on the knob when I head mom call out to me.

"ASANTE'!" I glanced over my shoulder at her, seeing that she was rushing down the steps towards me. "We just want to help you! We don't want your anger consuming you! We only wanted you to rest until you were ready to go after the Fallen Angels and get Carl back, then you started training unreasonably hard which stressed your wounds as well as your body. We…we just wanted you at 100% before we went after them…but you're acting like you must do this all alone and right this second. Then you started snapping at us for telling you otherwise."

I could see tears forming in her eyes but I remained unfazed. "I don't owe you an explanation."

"I'm not asking for one! I know what you're going through! When…when we were apart, I didn't know if you had been killed, torn apart, or were wandering about as one of those things. I know what you're feeling…so please…just take a step back and see that how you're treating us isn't right. We just want to help you."

After hearing that, I had to admit that I felt a bit bad. I never intended to hurt anyone else, let alone my mom. It just…happened. I turned back towards her, looking her in the eyes and I could feel the emotion radiating off her. She was hurt and angry but I saw a brief flash of fear in her when our eyes met.

"Why are you scared?"

"Your eyes…they're so…desolate. They look nothing like they usually do. You look emotionless right now…I don't know who you are."

That did it. My own mother not recognizing who I was made something in me…fracture. I single tear sprang from my eyes and trailed down my cheek. My facial expression remained unchanged and it was at this point that I knew how cold I had become.

"Mom…I'm sorry." Pulled her into a hug, trying to reassure her but it didn't seem to work. She hesitantly hugged me back after a minute or two.

"Promise me you'll tone it down, okay?"

"I promise." I pulled away from her and attempted to smile. It was a piss poor attempt but I tried. She smiled back at me seconds before she slapped me.

"THAT'S FOR YELLING AT US AND SCARING ME HALF TO DEATH BY JUMPING DOWN FROM UP THERE! What if you had BROKEN one or both of your legs?! What if your wound reopened?! What if you would have hit your head?!" She continued scolding me while I just held my cheek. Hearing her yell at me for being an idiot actually made me smile sincerely. It meant she wasn't as mad at me as she was.

I peered over her shoulder at everyone else and they looked a bit smug, rightfully so. I kind of had that coming and they knew mom was the only one who could get away with laying a finger on me with no repercussions.

I went about apologizing to everyone for the various things I'd done to them over the last three weeks. I was forgiven, they understood why I had been acting like an aggressive idiot and assured me that they'd still help me in any way they could. I looked at the people I had in my life that were willing to risk their lives to save one of their own and knew that with them around we couldn't fail.

 **Carl POV**

"Has that little runt Ben took a shine to cracked yet?"

"Not yet, Ronan. He's a lot tougher than we initially thought. He's endured the sensory deprivation, psychological torment, physical abuse, the hose, I'm running out of ideas."

"He'll break. They always do. Have you tried mentioning his boy toy from the bar?"

"No…I haven't actually."

"That should do it." Ronan rose from his seat, striding over towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take care of this one personally. Feel free to tag along and watch how it's done. Oh…grab the twins for me, will ya?"

"Yes, right away." Ed picked up Ronan's prized weapons, a pair of black and gold kukri machete, before rushing to catch up to Ronan.

They descended the stairs to where I was being kept, striding up to the door before knocking a couple of times. "Hey, shit stain, you still alive in there?" I didn't respond. I could barely focus on keeping my eyes open. "Open it up." I heard keys clanking together before the door opened. "Hey, I'm speaking to you." I felt something nudge my back a few times but I didn't respond. "Jesus, Ed, what happened to him?"

"Being tortured around the clock will do that to you. He's been unresponsive for a while now. He doesn't complain when we beat him or anything, not even a grunt or a groan. I had the doctor look at him to make sure he wasn't hurt too badly or on the cusp of death."

"I figured he'd be one of these. Alright, let's get him up, take him up to the interrogation room."

"Of course."

I felt myself get picked up and then carried to a room in a part of this place I'd never been. The room had one hanging light in the center of it as well as two chairs separated by a worn wooden table but that was it. The entire room seemed to be made of concrete. I was sat down in a chair then had my hands cuffed behind my back.

"Leave us."

"Right. Here you are." I heard Ed hand and Ronan something before shutting the door behind him.

I heard Ronan sit across from me. He didn't say anything for a while, but I could feel his eyes boring into me. I was in too much of a fog to care. I couldn't focus on anything besides trying to stay upright. I lost track of how long I'd been here. All the days had begun to blur together, mostly because every so often someone would burst into the room I was in, drag me into the torture room, and…torture me. I had started to make the beatings part of strengthening my body during the fifth day here and felt ready enough to try and escape after a week and a half.

I got relatively far, I managed to trip Ed and knock him out before swiping his keys, gun, and knife and sneaking out of the facility. I got to the main yard before a sniper almost took my head off and sounded the alarm. I was going to fight my way out but a Glock 17 vs 5 various kinds of AR's and what I assume was a Sig 556 were not very favorable odds. I could see the gates from where I stood and Had I just made it beyond them, I knew I could have made my way back to Tay and the others.

A sudden sound on the table made me jump a bit. I glanced up and saw a large curved knife stuck into the table top. "Glad I got your attention. I brought you in here to talk, not to beat you, not to interrogate you, just to talk." He got out of his chair and slowly strode about the room. "I know your stay here these last three weeks or so has been…rough to say the least but I just wanted you to know that I sort of admire you for toughing out so much abuse. Hell, I would have cracked after the first week but what do you do? You knock out poor Eddy-boy and make a break for the exit. Commendable, yet futile."

He came to stand behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Now…Carl, I just wanted to give you a few tidbits of knowledge to mull over. You've been here almost 4 weeks, so over a month. Your…boyfriend was left for dead 4 weeks ago. So…let's assume the worst and say he's dead, that means no one is coming to save you. No one knows who took you. No one knows where you are, hell you might as well be all alone in this world."

My eyes flew open as he continued to speak. "No one is out there searching for you. No one cares about you." He was trying to get into my head, I knew he was. Psychological warfare at its finest. I had to tune him out, but there was nothing to focus on, and with my mind in such a fog, his words came through loud and clear.

"Face it, you might as well make things way easier on yourself and just join us. I could use someone like you. Think about it, you'd get 3 square meals a day, a nice warm bed, access to Benny-boy and whoever else is a fudge packer in this place, safety from that world out there, all you have to do is tell me who you are. So, tell me…who are you." His hands clapped against my shoulders making me jump a bit. He moved around to my side, taking a knee so we were at eye level. "Who are you?"

I hesitated, trying to find my voice as memories of the abuse I had endured mingled with memories of everyone back at the docks. I kept seeing memories of the time Tay and I had shared together: the first time we met, when we started sleeping together, when we started to be more affectionate, him leaving, us reuniting and consummating our love, him telling me he loved me…and the look in his eyes when I offered myself up to these guys to save us both.

Ronan unsheathed a second knife and drove it into the table. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

I turned to look him in the eye, feeling myself wobble a bit at I did. "I…am Asante' Alvarez's boyfriend."

Ronan let out an exasperated sigh as he hung his head. "Oh how you disappoint me. Guess we gotta do a bit more convincing." He stood up and banged on the door twice. "He's going back, we're done here." As he walked back over to the table to retrieve his knives, the door opened. I was again being dragged through the building and then tossed back into the small room I had been in and out of for…over a month.

I was now alone with my thoughts, I had time to process what I had just heard. Ronan was just trying to put dumb ideas in my head and make me crack. I knew he was. Tay was alive and he was looking for me, that meant the others were looking for me. Even if Tay…Michonne would be looking for me, I know she would. That meant that everyone else was looking for me, they cared about me…I mattered to them. 'No one cares about you.' He was wrong, they cared about me. '…all alone…' I wasn't alone in this world.

His words echoed even louder in my head and the darkness of the room made me feel suffocated, I could feel myself beginning to panic. I felt the first inkling of a panic attack setting in and I remembered how Tay helped me the few times I had one. I focused on his voice and how he would hold me, how he made me laugh and smile, how he'd reassure me, how he'd run his fingers through my hair and tell me that it was okay to be this way…

I felt my anxiety decrease quite a bit after thinking about him and to try and preemptively counteract any future anxiety, I decided to sleep, hoping it would put a stop to more over thinking before it happened.

"SHIT!" I woke up sweating and panting after a few hours of restless sleep. I dreamt of horrible things that I knew weren't true. I knew everything that had played out in my head was just my mind running wild but it felt so real.

I dreamt of escaping this horrible place and finding my way back to the docks but when I returned…no one missed me. In fact, they treated me like a nuisance. They all wanted me to leave and then Tay emerged from one of the rooms, holding hands with someone else. He said he'd moved on and he never actually loved me…

Then everything went dark. One by one, everyone living at the docks walked away from me saying how much they didn't need me. I felt myself sink lower and lower and then I heard Tay's voice. I expected him to comfort me but instead he called me an annoying kid before striding off into the darkness. That's when I woke up.

"He'd never do that to me. None of them would ever turn their backs on me like that! I know…I know that. They're coming. At the very least, Tay is coming. All I must do is stay strong for him. I just have to keep hope alive."

The next day was weird…I sat there in silence waiting for someone to come drag me out of the room and torture me or try and screw with my head but no one came. Someone walked by and slid food under the door but that was it. I was anticipating some form of abuse all day but it never happened. I reasoned that it was going to occur in the middle of the night again. I stayed up, waiting for someone to come but they didn't.

It was almost as bad as getting tortured, trying to anticipate when the next beating or waterboarding session would occur as well as dealing with the bullshit Ronan put in my head. It was a lot to deal with and I could feel the weight of everything banging around in my head baring down on me. I tried to cling to the hope that I'd be rescued, however, it was becoming more and more difficult with each passing moment.

 **Tay POV**

How's your leg?"

"Fine. Perfectly fine."

"No pain while walking or anything?"

"None whatsoever."

"Alright then, the operation moves forward as planned."

"You know the plan, right?" I checked my handguns before placing them in their holsters.

"Seeing as how I helped you come up with it, I do."

"Good. Everyone else knows it too, correct?"

"Yes, we've been over it 20 times. I counted."

I made sure my guns were secured to my hips, that my knives were secured to my thighs, and that my bat was strapped to my back. I did a count of how many weapons we had and how many spare mags we had for our guns. Our arsenal looked impressive for such a small group, which gave me some form of reassurance.

"Tay." Camille said as she patted me on the shoulder. "It's time." I heard her pad out of the room and onto the walkway before rising from my bed. I looked over at Carl's hat, still in its spot on the desk, and grabbed it before following Camille down to the first floor.

Everyone was fully geared up and waiting to depart, I knew they were just as eager as I was but I had a few things to say to them before we headed out. "I know you're all ready to go but there are a couple of things I need to say first."

"Get on with it, my new pipe and I are ready to smash some heads."

"Simmer down, Brittany. Go on, sweetie."

"We all know what today holds, the possibility of one of our own…not being alive anymore. However, we all have hope that he is, in fact, alive. You guys have your assignments and your roles: Camille and mom, you know that you two are NOT to set foot within the perimeter of that place unless the situation is dire. Camille, you guard her with your life."

"Understood."

"Mom, I know you don't want to be treated as if you're made of glass but I would like to be able to do this without worrying about if you're in danger."

"I know, I'll follow your directions."

"Thank you. You two are our long-distance lookouts, you give us cover fire and take out anyone who might compromise the operation."

"Dino, you still have a lot of demolition tools from that run you and Michonne made a week ago, so your job is to plant them around the outside of this place. Put them along gas lines or any place that would create a bigger explosion. You're not going to have any back up so be careful."

"Got it."

"Lastly, Brittany and Michonne. You two are with me. We're going inside and looking for Carl, my guess is that he'll be held in a small room with no windows and no other people. If I'm correct, they wanted to break his will and make him do as they command and keeping him in a confined, dark room by himself is a great start."

"I'm ready for some unbridled destruction."

"Simmer down, if you get too hyped up, you might get hurt. Anyway, we'll split up after we announce our presence and look for Carl. I looked sternly at both of them. "Kill anyone who looked threatening. None of these bastards can be allowed to live. Understood?"

"Got it."

"Without a doubt."

"Good."

"Tay…"

"Yes, Camille."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I hesitated in answering for a moment before nodding. "I'm okay. I'm surprisingly calm about this."

"Just making sure."

"I appreciate it." I picked up the AR Carl used in the field, looking it over for perhaps the hundredth time, before looping it around my body. "Weapons check, everyone got what they need?"

"Got my 17s." Camille said as she proudly held up her suppressed rifle.

"Got my babies." Brittany smirked as she pecked her dual Vector SMGs.

"I have my sword and dual G17's with extended mags." Michonne said in a hushed tone.

"Me and my trusty M4A1 are ready to roll." Mom smiled.

"Ready." Dino raised his sawn-off shotgun and patted his M92.

"We're headed out. Make sure your radios are one, ear pieces are in, and weapons are live. Today…we take back one of our own."


	9. I Need A Gangsta

Chapter Nine: I Need a Gangsta

 **Tay POV**

"Everyone in position?"

" _Camille and I are ready."_

" _Just waiting on your mark."_

"Alright, Camille are we clear to enter?"

" _I'll just take out the guy on the roof, don't want a sniper raising the alarm before you even get inside."_

"Please and thank you." I glanced over my shoulder at Brittany and Michonne. "Remember, we give Dino five minutes to set up a few diversions then we go in."

"Got it."

"Also, remember we're taking these guys out quietly until we reach the broadcasting room. That means knives only."

" _Ready to move when you are, Tay."_

"Go, Dino. Camille, mom, make sure no one is tailing him from your end." I raised up Carl's gun, watching as Dino sprinted around the perimeter, setting up a few explosives before vanishing into the brush near the edge of the compound.

" _I'm clear."_

"Copy that, we're going in, stay safe everyone."

The three of us swiftly made our way out of hiding and up to a break in the fence lining the perimeter of this huge place that had to be a smelting plant or something. Now that I was seeing it with my own eyes, I was a tad warier than I would have been two months ago.

We slipped inside more easily than I thought. I expected to be met with a lot of resistance when we were outside but the only people we saw were avoided with great ease, but now we were walking around narrow corridors and having to watch the level of noise we made.

" _If my hunch is correct, the communications room should be near the Northeast corner of the building. Either the second of third floor."_

"Copy that." I peered around the next corner, seeing stairs at the end of it but they were passed an open door and three people, each equipped with some heavy-duty weapons."Three people, possibly more in the room on the left side of the hall. I can drop all three of them but the issue is catching their bodies before they fall."

"We can grab the two closest to us."

"I'll grab the farthest one. Get ready to move." I grabbed 3 throwing knives out of the sheath on my belt, making sure I had a good grip on them before readying myself.

I stepped into the corridor, sighting my targets before tossing the first knife at the guy farthest away, then at the ones closest to me. As soon as the knives left my hands, I moved a quickly as I could to catch my first target before he fell. I managed to grab him, and slowly lower him to the ground. I had forgotten how much people weighed when they went dead weight on you. I didn't hear loud thuds behind me so I assumed that Michonne and Brittany also made it in time.

I looked into the open room and saw one woman sound asleep, leaning back in his chair. "Wait here." I retrieved the knife lodged in the first man's skull before sauntering into the room, coming to rest beside her. I slowly put the knife to her throat before gently nudging her awake.

"Caleb I swear to if this isn't important I'm telling Ronan you're stealing from the pantry again."

"So there's corruption even in this place, not surprising."

"What the f-" She tried to reach for her gun but I pressed the blade closer to her throat.

"Shhhhh, it's alright. I just need some information."

"Fuck off."

I pressed the blade against her neck, feeling it slice the first layer of skin. "You can run and tell your boss, Ronan, right? That I'm here, I just need to know where the broadcasting room is. Can you tell me that?"

She went silent for a second, pondering my request. "If I tell you, you won't kill me?"

"No, no, no. I wouldn't do that."

"Out the door, to the left, one floor up, should be on the right as you exit the stairwell."

"See, that wasn't so hard." I took her gun from her and then let her go.

"You…you actually let me go."

"I told you I would."

"I…I expected you to kill me after I told you what I wanted to know."

"Well, don't get your hopes up. Brittany, be a dear and see if the tip we just got is any good."

" _On it."_ I heard the door to the stairwell open before silence overtook the room.

"Wh-what exactly is keeping me here? I could just leave and tell Ronan we have intruders."

"You could." She stared at me in disbelief, gauging if I'd chase her down or not. I saw her body tense a second before she made for the exit. I whipped my throwing knife at the wall where she would have been had she not stopped. "I say again, you could. It is ill-advised to do so, but you could."

" _Intel was good. Broadcasting room is right where she said it was."_

"Alright then." I drew my gun and fired a single shot into the woman's head before stepping over her body and into the hallway. "Let's hide these 3 in here and then go make our presence known."

"Alright." Michonne helped me hide the bodies away from the door before breaking the knob off. We joined Brittany upstairs.

"We're about to begin the operation. Dino, you ready?"

" _Ready."_

"Alright, let the fun begin."

 **Carl POV**

"How you doing, runt? You don't look too good." I coughed a bit more trying to catch my breath. "Now, I must say that I am impressed, here we are, two months in and you are still holding it together! Lesser men would have broken ages ago so, again, I am impressed."

Ronan had dragged me out of the room I was in and tossed me onto the torture floor. He wasted no time in beating the crap out of me. Be paid special attention to a certain spot on my body, he aimed most of his blows at my back, where a scar from one of his blades was still healing. He'd slowly dragged the sharpened metal along my back three days ago, hoping to get me to break but all it did was make me tear up.

I saw him line up another blow when the intercom screeched to life. "Hello? Is this thing on? Oh, goodie it works!" I froze; I recognized that voice, the only person I knew that could do a Harley Quinn impersonation that good was Tay. "Good afternoon everyone, Harley Quinn here."

"What the hell is this?" Ronan growled.

"It has come to my attention that some men here in this compound have taken something that I hold very close to my heart and I have come to take it back. Now no one must die here, if you guys hand over what I want, we can all go home happy!"

Ronan pulled out his radio and ordered anyone in the vicinity to stop Tay from delivering his message. "Is this that boyfriend of yours? If so, he's in for a world of hurt."

" _Boss, we're in the room with the intercom but no one is here."_

"How the fuck is that possible?"

"You guys are gonna regret this. NO ONE messes with Harley's puddin'." After that, there were a series of loud explosions around the outside of the building and I think one from the inside.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WAS THAT?!" A cacophony of chatter flooded through Ronan's radio and upon seeing the look on his face I couldn't help but start laughing. "The hell you laughing at, boy?"

"You're screwed. He's coming for me and you're all going to die."

 **Tay POV**

I looked over my shoulder at Brittany and Michonne. "Make. Them. Suffer. Anyone you come across, you kill them. None of these bastards are allowed to live." Brittany and Michonne looked a bit thrown off by my orders. "Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

I saw men running along the catwalk below us and decided to begin the slaughter. I turned to face Michonne and Brittany before spreading my arms. "Let it begin."

I fell backwards, tucking into a ball before opening a couple feet above the catwalk. "Who the fuck are y-"

My bat collided with the side of the woman's face. I turned and sprinted toward the men who passed by seconds before; once I was close enough, my bat met the side of the closest man's temple. I used my momentum to spin under the last man's shotgun and deliver a brutal upwards strike. I sprinted down the hallway ahead of me, feeling adrenaline course through my body. A man poked his head out of a door on my left but before he could make a sound, his head was wedged between my bat and the wall.

"What in tarnation was that?" I heard a very country voice say from inside the room.

"MAURICE! WHO DID THIS?" A shrill voice cried out.

"That would be yours truly, sweetie." I said in my best Harley voice.

"You were the one in the intercom! We gotta catch him and bring him to Ronan."

"You wanna dance, huh? Sorry, hon, my dance card has one slot left and Ronan's name is written all over it."

They approached me from opposing sides. The man with the country accent drew his knife before taking a swing at me. I blocked his arm before redirecting the knife, forcing him to stab himself. I then kicked his leg out before making him reach out and swing his blade again. The tip of it managed to nick the woman, who foolishly tried to rush me while I was preoccupied. She backed off, now more warry of me.

I snapped the man's arm before wrenching the knife from his hands and burying it in the back of his head. The woman look horrified but that quickly turned into rage. She charged at me, throwing wide punches directed at my face. I stepped over the man I'd just killed as I backed away but in her blind fury, the woman tripped as she threw another punch. I hooked the inside of her arms around hers, pulling her forward. I swung my right leg up in a wide arc before dropping it down, heel first, onto her back.

I took my left heel and drove it into the back of her neck in one quick motion. I drew one of my knives and stabbed her in the back of the head. I let out a breath I had no clue I was holding before heading out of the room. I cleaned my blade with a cloth I had tucked in away in my pocket before sheathing it.

"Everyone check in."

" _Your mom, Dino, and I are okay."_

" _Brittany and I are fine. The 4_ _th_ _floor is officially clear."_

I looked down at the bodies I was sitting on top of then down the hallway full of fresh corpses. "You two just cleared the 4th floor? I'm done with the 2nd and 3rd floors. You're slacking."

" _We're doing our be-"_

"Any sign of Carl?"

" _No…nothing yet."_

"Camille? Any sign of him outside?"

" _No, I'll keep you posted."_

" _Asante'."_

"Yes, mom?"

" _How are you doing?"_

"Couple of small cuts, got grazed by a few bullets but I'm fine."

"That isn't what I meant."

A heavy sigh escaped my lips. "I'm…tired. But I need to find him, mom. I know he's here. I can feel it."

" _Are you prepared for the worst?"_

"…no."

I got up, prying my bat out of some poor bastard's skull. I turned down a hallway and saw a series of rooms along both sides of the hallway. The ones on the left had yet to be opened but the ones on the right were all open. I tested the first door and found that it was locked.

"He-hello? Is everything okay out there? I heard gunfire and screaming after that message on the intercom."

"Are you one of them?"

"NO! GOD NO! These animals took my son after we wandered here looking for sanctuary, Ronan told me that if I pleased him, we could stay…"

I didn't feel like the woman on the other side of this door was lying. I drew my gun from the holster on my belt. "Step back."

I heard shuffling before I kicked in the door. There stood a frail looking woman about 35 years old, couldn't weigh more than 130 pounds. Her hair was well kept and she had on a form fitting blue dress and matching heels. She had a bruise on her left cheek and a small cut on her forehead.

She slowly stepped out of the tiny room, looking extremely skittish. "Thank you."

I peered into her eyes and asked her "Was that sob story the truth?"

She hiked up her dress and showed me her stomach, a long, thick scar spanned her midsection. "He was a C-section."

"Alright then. Are there more people here against their will?"

"Yes, down on the second basement level. My son is down there; will you take me to him?"

"I'm here for my own reasons, but you would die getting there alone." I pondered to myself for a second before coming up with an idea. "Brittany, where are you guys?"

"Right here." I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Brittany and Michonne striding towards me. They looked almost as rough as I did, both covered in blood and cuts. "Take this woman to find her son."

They glared at her for a second. "She cool?"

"She's fine. I need you guys to free those who are held here against their will."

"What are you gonna do?" Michonne asked.

"Move on to the first floor and the first level of the basement. As soon as you two are done, get them to safety, have the others cover you."

"Will you be okay?"

"Physically yes, if Carl isn't…I'll make up for it by Caving Ronan's head in."

Brittany walked over to me and gave me a quick hug, which was odd because she wasn't much of a hugger. "Stay safe." I nodded before heading for the stairs.

"Camille, Brittany and Michonne are going to be headed out with a few non-combatants. Cover them until they get to safety."

" _Copy that."_

I opened the first door I came to, poking my head out into the desolate hallway. I didn't see anyone but I kept my gun ready. I took my time searching the floor, not seeing any signs of life. I stopped at the last room on the floor and judging by the size of the door, I had to guess that it was one of the largest rooms here. I checked the window and was met with vicious gunfire. I barely managed to get clear of the door as more and more bullets tore through it.

"I thought it was too quiet."

"YOU STILL ALIVE? WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO DIE THAT EASILY."

"You wish." I muttered to myself.

I took out my shuriken and wire, setting a trap reminiscent of the one I set in the forest, before I darted off down the hall. I circled around the room to the other entrance just to find that it was barricaded. I peered through the window and saw catwalks above the room and I noted that this room had a lot of tight spaces, between the plethora of pipes and furnaces inside of it.

"Those look like good places to hide. Me thinks some hit and run tactics are in order."

"You two, go check to see if we killed him."

Two of them men inside ran to the door, checking the windows to see if I was there. I left my boot poking out from the corner to lure them into the trap I set. "I see a foot! I think we got him!"

"Go check, you idiots." I set my sights on the familiar voice and noticed that it was emanating from the man I held at gunpoint 2 months ago.

"I'm saving you for later."

I did a head count of how many people were left in the room and got to about 33 not counting the two men that had probably been cut into pieces by now. I drew my guns, affixing their suppressors to them before picking out my first couple of targets. I picked up a small screw and tossed it into the corner, hearing it ping off a few metal surfaces before coming to rest on the floor.

Everyone's attention turned towards the sound and then to Ed. "You four, go check it out, and you four go see where those two went!"

The two groups split off from the line of people, following Ed's orders. I silently stalked the group that went to investigate the noise from the screw I tossed waiting for them to break apart. A shorter woman with an AKMSU was leading the pack while three men followed her. I dropped down onto the floor as quietly as I could before making short work of the man trailing furthest behind, covering his mouth before slitting his throat. I fell in line behind the other three then shot one man in the head, catching his body as he fell. I did the same with the man on my left before closing the distance between the woman in front of me.

"Nothing here…must have been a mouse or something."

"Nah, it was little old me." I put her in a figure four headlock, cutting off her airway before just flat out snapping her neck. I drove my heel into her skull a few times, making sure she didn't reanimate as a walking corpse. Last thing I needed were walkers roaming this place.

"Ed! TJ and Riley are dead! Lamar and Chris are cut up too! That bastard set a trap with wire or something, they're bleeding o-"

I couldn't stand that panicked idiot's incessant yammering anymore so I put a bullet between his eyes before darting off into the darkness. "That little rat is still alive! Fan out and find him!"

I heard the rest of the men disperse, trying to pinpoint my location. I had to go about this in a sensible way, I couldn't get all trigger happy. Had to get in and get out. I scaled the pipes as quietly as I could so I could perch at various spots along the catwalk. I looked above me and decided that fear would give me more of an advantage in this fight so I shot out the lights hanging above us.

I heard screams and various swears coming from the people below me. "Calm down! He's just toying with us!"

"No way man, no way!"

"Where the fuck is he?!"

"We're all going to die!"

I smirked playfully, my plan worked like a charm. I took out two people in the center of the room then ducked further into the shadows. I popped out to drop a few more of the people nearest to me and I sat back for a while letting them panic. One guy even started shooting in random places, he shot a couple of his own people and that caused more chaos. They started arguing and fighting amongst themselves, I took the chance to thin out their numbers a bit more. I did another headcount, only 5 people remaining.

"Fuck…our numbers are dwindling. HEY, WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, COME OUT AND WE CAN NEGOTIATE!"

"There's nothing to negotiate, you took the love of my life, and I'm going to get him back." I picked off three of the remaining Fallen Angels before coming out of hiding.

"Ah, there you are."

"Here I am." I pointed my guns at Ed and his last subordinate.

"Let her go, she's got two kids." I squeezed the trigger of the gun pointed at his last subordinate.

"I've killed fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, sons, and daughters today. You think I give a shit about some bitch with two kids?"

"You're a monster."

"I'm just the product of your actions. If you wanted to avoid all this bloodshed you would have killed me two months ago, when you had the chance."

"Time to make up for my passed mistake."

"You think you can kill me? I've slaughtered my way through over 100 people to get here."

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you…Ben is."

During our dialogue exchange I hadn't noticed the giant man creeping up behind me. He landed a solid punch to the side of my head, sending me tumbling to the floor. I heard footfalls headed towards the exit and as my sight cleared, I managed to fire a few shots in the direction of the door. I got kicked in the stomach and as I slid across the room, I felt my guns slip out of my hands.

I rolled a bit and managed to stumble to my feet. "Fuck, you hit hard."

"Ben, you handle him, I'm going to find Ronan."

"No the hell you're not!" I moved to go after Ed but Ben threw another punch. I narrowly avoided the heavy blow by rolling out of the way. I caught sight of Ed darting out of the room once I got to my feet. "Shit." I turned my attention back towards the imposing man before me. "Alright, I'm gonna enjoy this."

"You can't possibly beat me. I'm big. You're small. I'm strong. You're weak."

"Keep telling yourself that big boy."

He threw another punch but I ducked under it, setting my sights on his legs. I delivered a hard-hitting combination to his right leg, determined to bring him down then and there: a jab to his thigh, using my knuckles to penetrate the muscle, then a hook to the side of his knee, as predicted he dropped to that knee, the last punch I delivered was to his face but it did little more than piss him off.

He grabbed me by my throat and tossed me against the wall. I had enough sense to try not to let my head smack against the concrete and to move as soon as I regained my footing. "I have to admit, you hit pretty hard for such a little guy."

"Don't underestimate me." 'Just keep hammering away at his legs, you're faster than him.' I told myself.

I squared up with my behemoth of an adversary once more and as he drew nearer, I kicked out his knee and delivered a devastating knee to his chin. I seized the moment and drove one of my knives into his thigh and twisted it before wrenching it free and slashing his other thigh. He groaned in pain and as he tried to stand again, I could see him straining to stay balanced.

"Again." I muttered to myself. I darted towards Ben once again and as he tried to counter me, I let my speed do a lot of the work for me by suddenly changing direction. He stumbled and I delivered a deep slash to the back of his thigh, deep enough to sever the muscles that allowed him to stand.

"You…bastard." He tried to grab me but I simply side stepped him, watching as he fell face first onto the ground.

"I'm going to make you suffer for laying a finger on him." I could feel the atmosphere darken, memories of the pained look on Carl's face as this brute held him up by his hair, the distress in his eyes…I felt something in me snap. I drew my other knife and drove them into the tops of his hands, being sure they went through to the other side.

"I'm going to beat you with your own arms! Then I'm going to go to town on that little runt. Gonna wear him like a glove."

"So he's still alive. Where is he?"

"Not going to tell you that, you'll take my new play thing away. You'd be better off killing me."

I lowered myself to his level. "Oh, I'm not gonna kill ya. I'm just gonna hurt you, really, really bad."

I grabbed his knife, raising it to the corner of his mouth. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Let's put a smile on that pretty face." I held his head still while I sliced into his cheeks, carving diagonal slashes from the corners of his mouth to the apples of his cheeks. "There. Much better." I tossed his knife into one of the bodies on the other side of the room. "Do you know where he is?"

He glared up at me before spitting blood onto my cheek. "Bite me."

I sighed heavily before slowly drawing my knife out of his hand. I slowly carved deep gashes into his bicep. "I'll ask you again, where is he?"

"Fuck. You."

I stabbed into his shoulder a few times. "WHERE IS HE?!"

"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!" I could see that I wasn't getting anywhere, so I decided to make this asshole suffer while I kept searching. I made a small cut along the femoral artery and left him there to bleed. I saw how much blood was pouring out of him from that small cut and the other slashes I left on his body and knew he wouldn't make it, even if someone did save him. "Wait, where are you going?! We aren't done here yet!"

I picked up my guns and my grabbed my bat from its spot behind one of the furnaces. "Oh but we are. Enjoy your last few minutes of life." I sauntered out of the room, minding my traps of course. "So…he is alive. I knew it." I checked my guns, noting that I had a total of ten bullets between them. If I was going to kill anyone else, it had to be with my knives and bat.

I looked down at the floor and saw bloody footprints that led to the stairs and decided to follow them. They had to be Ed's and if I followed Ed I'd find Ronan, if I found Ronan, I'd find Carl. I exited the stair well onto the ground floor and as I turned into the hallway I saw someone with a shotgun coming towards me. I instinctively raised my guns, as did they.

"Tay?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Andrew."

"Y-you? You're the one causing all this?!"

"Yes."

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for someone."

"I haven't seen you since-"

"Save it. This isn't a happy reunion. Where is Ronan?"

He paused for a second. "You gonna kill me?"

"That is entirely up to you. If I get what I'm here for, the only two people that have to die are Ronan and Ed."

"Follow this corridor hang a right then follow that hallway all the way down, there's a short flight of stairs, take those and you should see an elevator. After that go left through the set of large double doors. Last I saw, he was beating the crap out of some brunette."

I felt my blood begin to boil, I was going to beat Ronan to death with my own two hands when I found him. "Move." He hesitated and I didn't have the patience to deal with him. "Move, or die. I have no problem killing you, hell I've wanted to since you broke my heart. But this isn't about my issues with you, this has nothing to do with you. I am giving you the option to move out of my way or die."

He slowly stepped out of my way, lowering his gun as he did. I kept my gun aimed at his head, fighting off the urge to empty the remaining rounds into his head. As soon as I was passed him, I started running down the hallway. "Tay!" I stopped in my tracks, waiting to hear him out. "Would you…would you honestly have killed me just now?"

"Yes. Had I not been here for my boyfriend, had I been here for any other reason, I would have killed you or at the very least beat the crap out of you. Now go before I change my mind."

I heard him start running in the other direction before I started running again, following his directions. I ran as fast as I could, taking corners way faster than I should have, eventually coming to the elevator Andrew told me about. I turned towards the large double doors, steadying my breath before pushing them open and striding into the room. In the center of the room I saw Carl but then my eyes drifted towards the man I assumed was Ronan.

"You? You're the little pisant that's causing all the commotion?"

"Give him to me." The large man before me didn't budge and neither did the smug look on his face. "Now!"

"Tell ya what, you seem like a smart man, so you know that after killing so many of my people, I'll need more manpower to replace what's been lost. How about you, Mr. One-Man-Army, serve me and I keep your little boy toy alive for you? Sound good?" His hand gripped Carl's chin roughly and it took a lot of self-control to not charge in and kill this prick.

"You know as well as I do that that isn't going to happen. The only way you'd ever get me to agree to that is if you had me outmatched or outnumbered. You won't kill me. I'm too good of an asset. You'd hate yourself if you let me die. You also know if you kill him that the consequences would be dire and you'd sacrifice all leverage you had over me."

"Look. At. That. A brutal killer. Loyal. Devoted. And smart as a whip. But who's to say I don't have you out matched? You may have taken out those peons of mine out there but me, oh, I'm on a different level entirely." He unsheathed two large blades, twirling them about his hands.

I heard carl laugh for a split second. "You're screwed. I told you, you were all gonna die, and that man standing in front of you is going to do it."

I took a couple of steps forward, before I started circling the man in front of me. "I told you when I got here, no one messes with my Puddin'."

"So, how are we gonna do this? Hand to hand? Knife to knife? Shoot out?" I hardened my gaze before charging towards him, drawing my knives as I got closer. "Knife fight it is!"

 **Carl POV**

I had never seen anyone fight so fiercely in my life. Tay and Ronan were going tit for tat, neither of them giving an inch. Anything Ronan sent his way, he countered with ferocity. He used his superior flexibility to dodge a few of Ronan's slashes. They locked blades and Tay took the chance to kick out one of Ronan's legs before blasting him in the face with a roundhouse kick.

He slashed at Ronan's face but he avoided it but going to his back and rolling to his feet. When he stood, he was bleeding from a cut on his cheek. "God damn! I haven't had a fight this good in ages! My ladies here haven't gotten used in a while, I was afraid they started to get dull."

Ronan was about to continue his monologue but a knife being thrown his way cut him off. I saw Tay charge his way, grab his wrist, then flip him end over end. One of his blades left his hands and clattered across the floor, the other one stayed firmly in his hand for mere seconds before he was disarmed. He managed to sweep Tay's legs out from under him, sending him backwards but he instinctively went into a backhand spring.

These two seemed evenly matched but I knew Tay could win. He was faster. He was more flexible. He was well trained. Most of all, he was determined. Before I could blink, they were back at it, trading blows back and forth, but Ronan was still careful of the knife in Tay's hand. Tay got few good slashes in, one on Ronan's shoulder, one on his thigh, and one across the front of his Jacket.

"MOTHERFUCKER! I liked this jacket! Son of a bitch!" Ronan threw off his jacket before throwing a few combinations Tay's way. He tanked a tab to the shoulder just to get the knife out of Tay's hands before punching him in the stomach and then the face. He threw the knife in my general direction, letting it rebound off one of the pipes.

That made me think about where the other knife went, I found it lying a few feet away from me. I tried reaching it with my feet but it was barely out of my grasp. I stretched as much as I could and was just able to get part of the handle under my boot when I heard a pained groan. I looked over at Ronan and Tay and saw that that bastard had Tay on the ground with his arm locked behind his back.

"Tay!"

"Give it up, you might have the skill and all those fancy acrobatics but you lack grit. That little attachment over there makes you weak."

I kept stretching and could finally draw the knife closer to me. "Tay!" He looked over at me just as I kicked the knife over to him. He used his free arm to grab it and jab the blade deep into Ronan's shoulder. The impact and sharp pain made Ronan roll off him, giving Tay the chance to get to his feet and draw his gun.

"It's over!" he fired two shots, one into each of Ronan's knees.

"Why the fuck didn't you shoot him earlier?!"

"I wanted to beat him to death, shooting him was too easy."

" _Tay, we got problems out here."_ I heard a faint voice call through his earpiece

He pressed my fingers to his ear. "What's up?"

" _We got a huge herd of the undead lumbering towards us. They must have been drawn by the explosions and gunfire."_

"Shit."

"What's wrong?"

"We have to go. Where are the keys?"

"On his belt." Tay kept his gun aimed at Ronan's head as he walked over to him. "Keys. Now."

"Piss off." Ronan groaned as he clutched one of his knees. Tay tilted his head to the side before putting another round in his arm. He rolled Ronan over and snatched the keys from his belt before returning to me and undoing my restraints.

As soon as I was free, I leapt into his arms and started sobbing. "I thought...I thought you abandoned me again"

"I would never, EVER leave you again I promised you that a long time ago and I am a man of my word."

"Well, isn't that sweet. Sorry to break up the adorable little reunion but I'm not done with you yet." Ronan tried to get to his feet but looked pathetic just trying to kneel.

Tay nudged me a bit. "Wanna watch?"

"You're as romantic as ever. I quipped through my tears. I looked over at Ronan, flipping him off before saying my last words to him. "I told you that he'd come."

With that, Tay fired a shot into Ronan's forehead. I had to say it was extremely satisfying seeing my abuser lying there with blood pooling underneath him. "Can you walk?"

"I think so."

"Can you run?"

"That would be a no, I feel like Bambi." Tay went to collect his knives and bat before handing me his other gun. "Six shots. Don't miss."

I nervously looked down at the gun in my hands. "I'm a bit rusty."

"I have faith in you." He knelt in front of me. "Get on."

"There they are!"

Tay came sprinting out of the building with me still on his back but just as we cleared the exit, we noticed a few walkers closing in on us. "CAMILLE!" He yelled towards a ridge in front of us.

I saw the glint of the Sun reflect off what I assumed was a rifle's scope. "Already on it!" We heard a few shots ring out and the walkers started to drop, opening a path for us.

"Carl, let's go. This place is gonna be-"

"YOU BASTARD!" Tay was tackled to the ground then mounted by Ronan's right hand man, Ed. "YOU TOOK IT ALL AWAY! I HAD A GOOD LIFE HERE! I HAD EVERYTHING!" He started choking Tay, still shouting about his life and how we ruined it.

I didn't hesitate, I raised the gun and fired the last round into his head. His body went limp before Tay pushed him to the side. "See…you still got it."

"You were in trouble."

He stood up, wiping the blood from his face, before picking me up. "Tay! This way!" Camille waved us away from the looming herd of walkers. As we neared the edge of the compound we started losing sight of the others, we were also slowly being cornered by walkers. They split around the compound and were closing in on us from both sides.

He set me down as he clawed at the fence. "Camille, Brittany, ANYONE! We need help! We're out of bullets!" Tay yelled into his ear piece. "Damn it!" He drew his knives, standing between myself and the walkers lumbering towards us. "You climb the fence as high as you can, I'll hold them off."

I took one look at him and knew he was barely staying upright, I knew he barely had anymore fight left in him. "You'll die if I leave you!"

"I'D RATHER DIE KNOWING YOU'RE ALIVE THAN DIE KNOWING YOU WERE TORN APART WHEN I COULD HAVE SAVED YOU. NOW GO." I heard gunfire from the ridge behind us, I turned to see Tay's father sliding down the incline towards us with bolt cutters.

He cut a hole in the fence, pulling me through before offering his hand to Tay. "Son, we have to go! Now!" Tay grabbed his father's hand before being pulled outside of the fence.

"Thanks for the save, Dino."

"Thank me later, now go!" We started up the incline and had just made it to the top when we heard a groan. We turned to see Dino tugging his shirt away from the fence. "Shit, fucking cheap fabric, rip damn you!"

"We're coming!"

"I told you to go, I'll be fine!" But that was soon proven to be a lie. The weight of a few walkers caved the fence in and they soon started to envelop Tay's father.

"NO! Damn it no!" Tay went to help him but there was nothing he could do.

I grabbed his wrist, tugging him in the opposite direction. "There's nothing you can do; we have to go!" He reluctantly went over the hill, sliding down the other side. He stayed at the bottom to help me into one of the cars.

"Where's Dino?" Michonne asked from the driver's seat. I simply looked away.

"Go…" Tay said solemnly.

Michonne nodded knowingly before punching her foot down on the accelerator. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I could breathe. I looked at Michonne and Camille then at Tay, they all looked rough, like they'd been through hell twice over. Tay and Michonne were covered in blood and scrapes, Camille looked unharmed thankfully. I could just imagine how Brittany and his mom looked.

I kept my eyes fixed on the man next to me, trying to read his facial expression. He looked…neutral, like he was elated to have me back but…the price he paid was weighing heavily on him. "Tay…are you okay?"

He didn't answer. He kept his gaze fixed on his hands and nervously bounced his leg as Michonne drove. I figured he wouldn't talk to I just took on of his hands and leaned against him. I felt him squeeze my hand a few times, I squeezed back, letting him know I was there for him.

We drove in silence for a long time before I heard a bit of chatter form Tay's earpiece. It was his mother asking if his father was with him. He tore the device away from his ear before leaning back against the seat. Camille told his mother that he didn't make it and from that point on there was only silence filling the car. No more radio chatter. No small talk. Nothing.

I was smoothing the back of Tay's hand with my thumb when he squeezed my hand. I looked up at him, meeting his hollow gaze; letting my eyes wander his face, I finally saw the toll this day had taken on him: his face was splattered with blood, some was even in his hair, he had a couple of bruises forming on his face and around his neck, and his hair, that'd gotten so much longer since I last saw him, was a mess.

Worst of all he just looked tired, he looked as if he hadn't slept in years. I felt bad that I'd cause all this trouble and that he'd lost his father because of me. Whether he liked his father at the moment of his death or not, I felt responsible for what happened.

"Stop…"

"Stop what?"

"You have a tell when you're thinking…your eyes dart around a lot…"

"I'm sorry." He simply lowered his gaze a bit before meeting my eyes again. I got his message loud and clear, nodding slightly before he leaned in and kissed me. He seemed uncharacteristically timid, the kiss didn't feel forced but it felt…weird. I shied away a bit, leaving him a little confused.

"What's wrong?"

"It feels…different. Don't get me wrong, I've been wanting to kiss you for a long time but that kiss just felt different from the usual."

"I felt it to. Raincheck?"

"Of course."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, still holding hands. "I love you."

The sudden break in silence startled me a bit. I looked at Michonne who was still focusing on the road, then at Camille who was looking out of the window. I was sort of shocked he said it so casually in front of them. It did make me happy though, I felt a bit of normalcy return to my life in that instant.

"I love you too."

We pulled up to the docks shortly after Tay's mother and Brittany and as he helped me from the car, I could finally see just how roughed up everyone looked. "You good?" Tay asked Michonne. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a few bruises on her arms and face.

"Yeah, things got a bit hairy but-"

"My pipe came through. Dickhead was going toe to toe with Michonne and had gotten in a good left hook when I cracked his skull open." She sounded so proud of herself.

"Appreciate it." Michonne turned back to us before drawing me into a hug. "I'm glad you're okay." I hugged her tightly, reveling in this long overdue embrace.

"We're glad you're okay." Camille chimed in happily.

"Yeah, after all the shit we did to get to you, you'd have better been alive."

"I put up a fight, first day I got there I kneed Ed in the chin after kicking out his leg. I even got a few shots in on Ronan. All with my hands tied behind my back."

"I can see why you like this one, he's feisty." Brittany said as she playfully jabbed Tay in the arm.

He smiled at me and for the first time since we'd reunited, I could see a bit of life return to his eyes. "I don't just like him, I love him."

"Asante'…" His mother said shyly.

"Yes?"

"What happened to your father?"

Just like that, the light from his eyes faded. "He…he got stuck saving us. The fence gave in and he was torn apart. I was about to go help him but…I couldn't have done anything. I was out of ammo and there were too many to kill off with my knives…I'm sorry, mom."

"We couldn't have done anything. By the time we would have gotten to him, he'd have already been torn into. I'm sorry."

She looked as sad as Tay did, I wanted to comfort them both but I had no idea what to say or do. "He died doing something that made him a hero in a sense. He will be missed. Despite not being the best father, he was a decent enough person."

"Agreed." Everyone responded.

"I'm going to set up a grave site for him in the back."

"We'll help you." Michonne replied. Everyone except Tay and I moved to follow his mother.

Brittany and Camille saw that the two of us had yet to move, shooting us a quizzical look. "We'll be there in a second." They nodded before heading inside. I stepped in front of Tay, trying and failing to meet his gaze. "Hey…what's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying…so much shit has happened today that I have no clue what to think."

I smoothed my thumb over the back of his hand. "What else happened? I know that you had to kill a lot of people today but did something else happen?"

"Aside from finally seeing you again and Dino dying…I saw Andrew…"

"You what?!"

"Yeah…I ran into him after I followed Ed's bloody footprints to a hallway near where I found you. He told me how to get to you."

"Did you…did you kill him?"

"No."

"Wow…after what you told me I thought you would have. Why didn't you?"

He looked up at me, finally meeting my gaze. "You were more important."

My heart all but stopped upon hearing that. "That means a lot to me…I-I'm sorry I started to think you left me to die."

"You had hope for a long time, I know you did. After two months of hell, I can't be too upset that your hope began to waver."

He went to hug me but I shied away. "Be…be gentle okay?"

"Why? Are you hurt?"

"Sort of. Ronan was in the middle of beating me when you guys showed up…there's also this." I hesitantly removed my shirt and turned away from him, revealing the long cut from my right hip to my left shoulder. It was healing but still sensitive.

"Carl…I' so sorry I left you there! I-I wanted to come sooner, I should have never taken you on that run. I-"

"Tay…I don't blame you. I made the decision to go with them, I pissed Ronan off, I could have pretended to be on their side but I put up a fight."

I saw a few tears slip down his cheeks. "My plan got us caught…"

"Please don't blame yourself. I don't."

"You should…"

"But I don't. And you can't make me do so. I still love you, if anything, I love you more for what you did for me. You fought your way through that place to get to me, you didn't stop to kill Andrew, despite having every reason to do so, you, did so much for me today that I couldn't possibly be mad at you. I'm just happy to see you again! I haven't seen this beautiful face in over two months…I" I cupped his face between my hands. "I'm just happy I get to stretch out in our bed and curl up in your arms again. After sleeping in that tiny box of a room for two months that's all I really want to do."

"Wait no more, we'll do just that tonight." He seemed a to feel a bit better but he still felt…different than the man I had seen two months ago. "Let's go take a shower."

"Yea…I need a proper shower but…what about…"

"We can go visit his gravesite later. Right now, I just want to get cleaned up and get into bed."

"Okay. We can do that." He led me by my hand into the main building and towards the bathroom, I couldn't wait to get into bed with him again and just lie there, listening to the sound of his heart beating.

We were lying in bed together, him on his back and me draped over his chest, rubbing circles into his side. I felt more relaxed than I had in ages, I felt like I was home. I guess this is what people mean when they say home sometimes isn't a place, but a feeling or a person. Tay felt like home to me: his caramel colored skin, the warmth radiating from his body, his deep brown eyes, his long hair, his plump, soft lips, his tattoos, even the arm loosely draped around the small of my back all felt so inviting.

I occasionally stole a glance up at him, seeing if he'd fallen asleep or not. He was staring off into space, blinking from time to time. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. I felt that he'd talk to me in his own time and I didn't need to push him.

"Hey, babe?"

"Yes?"

"You hungry?"

"A bit, yeah."

"I'll go get us something."

"I'll go with you."

"It's okay, you stay put and rest."

"Oh, uh, okay. Thanks." He left the room and headed downstairs, leaving me alone. I took my time to look around our room, seeing that very few things had changed. I saw weights in the corner and a makeshift pull up bar above them. I looked over at the desk and saw that there were notebooks strewn about, from what I could see from the bed, there were detailed drawings of the factory where I was held with notes in the margins. I looked a bit more to the right on the desk and saw my hat. He'd kept it for me after I'd been taken.

I got up and walked over to the desk, picking up the memento my dad left me when I was younger. I ran my fingers over the worn fabric, smiling as I recalled the memories attached to it. "I grabbed that for you." I looked over and saw Tay standing there with a couple of cans of food and a can opener. "From the bar."

"Thanks. I kind of forgot I lost this."

He set the cans down and walked a bit closer to me, letting his hands run through my hair. "It's really long now. Thinking about cutting it?"

"Yeah, it's a bit too long now."

"I'll do it. After we eat?"

"Sure."

He opened our food, handing me a can of my favorite, ravioli stuffed with ground beef in pasta sauce. He handed me a cup of pudding as well. He smiled upon seeing my face light up, he knew I loved pudding.

"Haven't had this in a long time."

"I know. Apparently Michonne told mom about your love of the stuff and mom grabbed some when she went out."

"She really does like me."

"I told you." I looked up to see a sincere smile on his face. It made me feel like he was starting to become his old self again and that things were truly getting back to normal, at least between us.

 **Tay POV**

Later that night, Carl and I were in bed together, him sleeping on my chest, and me lying awake thinking about what I saw earlier today. I still couldn't believe Dino died for us…He knew the risks of helping us and yet he did it anyway, he knew how I felt about him but still saved our lives. I knew mom wouldn't hesitate to do the same but I didn't expect it out of him. A continuous storm of memories raged on in my mind and I couldn't process all the information or sights I was seeing. I saw the first time he spanked me, and I saw the first time he took me to the park. I saw the time he slammed me against the wall and I saw the time he bought me ice cream in Wisconsin. It was all so confusing and I didn't know how to feel at all. I was torn between being sad that he was gone and that I didn't really get to know him and happy that that chapter of my life was permanently closed.

I felt Carl stir against me, interrupting my thoughts before he settled again. The storm of emotions simmered for a second, letting me think clearly for the first time since we escaped the herd of walkers. I had been holding a neutral expression since we got back, my physical chemistry with Carl was off, I was distant towards everyone, I wanted things to be how I thought they would be after we rescued him from the clutches of the Fallen Angels but…I didn't plan on losing anyone.

Suddenly, Carl started grunting and twitching like he was being hit or something. He started saying 'no' and 'stop' softly at first but then his cries increased in volume. I shook him a bit, trying to wake him from his night terror. He finally woke up, panting and frantically looking around. I told him that he was okay, that he was safe but it took him a few minutes to settle down and believe that he was home.

He started telling me about his dream and how he had essentially watched all the people he cared about get carted into the room he was tortured in, and get killed one by one by Ronan and the Fallen Angels. He said I woke him up just as they had gotten to me. He said he could still see the sadistic smile plastered on Ronan's face.

I cradled him against my chest, assuring him that Ronan and his followers were all dead. I made sure of that. I continued to reassure him, trailing my fingers along his back until I reached his scar. I paused, scowling a bit. Ronan might be dead but the fact that the mark he'd left on Carl, both physically and mentally, still lingered and that bothered me more than anything else. Carl said he didn't blame me but I sure as hell did.

He eventually settled down but remained awake for another couple of hours. During that time, I promised myself that I would guard the boy sleeping next to me with my life. I would never let anything happen to him, even if it cost me my life.


	10. Control

Chapter Ten: Control

 **Carl POV**

"Babe, I can get it myself."

"I know but I don't mind handing it to you."

I internally groaned, while I appreciated Tay's helpful nature, it had been getting on my nerves as of late. "Thanks." He handed me what I was reaching for and let me go about my business. While I did love being around him again, especially after such a long time apart, but he was smothering me with attention and doing even the most mundane tasks for me. He handed me things I could easily reach, got me food, almost fed it to me, wiped my mouth for me, helped me shower…okay that last one was nice but my point is that things I could do were being done for me without me asking.

I was thankful that he comforted me when I had a night terror but some of the things he didn't let me do were starting to grate on my nerves. "Hey, you okay?" Camille asked me. I looked over my shoulder at Tay, who was busy talking to Brittany and his mom.

I dragged her to the back of the building, whirled her around and began to speak. "NO! Tay has been suffocating me with attention and doing EVERYTHING for me. He won't let me out of his sight, he won't let me leave without him escorting me, and he's even been secretly preventing me from going on runs."

Camille dutifully listened to me rant and rave about my now overprotective boyfriend. Simply nodding her head and chiming in with an occasional confirmation that she was listening to me talk. Eventually I finished my rant, taking a deep breath before running my hands through my hair. As soon as I reached the trimmed tips of my hair, I remembered when Tay sat me between his legs on our bed, trimming it for me. I felt a bit bad for seeming so angry.

"I know he means well…I know he's still a good boyfriend and that he loves me but I feel so smothered."

"I understand. I wanted to intervene, as did…everyone else but we didn't want to poke our noses in a relationship that wasn't ours to meddle with. We thought things would work themselves out but it's been three and a half months."

"Should I talk to him?"

"If you want your independence back, yes."

"How should I approach this? I don't want to hurt him or anger him."

"Tay's an understanding person. He'll understand that he's had blinders on this whole time and hasn't seen the damage he's been doing since you got back. He might be a bit miffed at first but you two will be fine."

"Thanks…I needed a pep talk."

"You're quite welcome. Brittany and I kinda planned this, she'd go talk to Tay about something and give us a moment to talk in peace."

"You guys are great."

"We try our best. Now get in there and talk to your man."

I quickly hugged Camille before we entered the building again. I strode directly up to Tay, who had just finished talking with Brittany, and dragged him away to our room. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really." I shut the door behind me, trying and failing to meet his gaze after I turned to face him.

"Talk to me. I'll listen."

"I know you will, I'm afraid of how you'll react." I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts. "I feel like you've been overbearing lately, like you've been doing everything for me. I know you're worried about me but treating me like I'm made of glass isn't doing me any favors. I want…I want you to trust me enough to…to grab my own cereal, to go outside and sit by the water...to go on runs again."

"Absolutely not."

"What?"

"I'm not letting you go back out there. You can get your own food, you can go sit on the docks, but you are not going on any more runs. Bottom line."

"Are you even hearing yourself?! You're practically imprisoning me! You can't do that!"

"I can and I am. You're not leaving here, Carl."

"But Tay-"

"THAT'S FINAL!"

I was taken aback; he'd never yelled at me like this before. I stood there shocked that he was being so stubborn about this issue. I expected a bit of resistance but this was outright refusal. I felt my face form into a deep scowl before I started gathering our spare pillow and comforter.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm sleeping downstairs tonight."

"Why?"

"You're being a stubborn asshole and treating me like a child! Bad things happen in this world, Tay. I decided to let them take me so YOU could live. I didn't care if they killed me, I cared if YOU lived. But you're so wrapped up in guilt that you can't see that it was MY idea to go with them. I can't stay cooped up here forever, I _will_ eventually go back out there. And by the way, the longer you keep me here, the longer you stay here keeping watch over me, the duller our skills get, that means we'll be less useful in the field, which means we're more likely to get killed. Think about that while you're sleeping alone."

With that, I opened the door and went down stairs to set up a place to sleep for the night, leaving Tay to think about what I said.

 **Brittany POV**

"Those two seem a bit off to you?" Camille whispered to me.

"Yeah, they're sort of standoffish. Not speaking to each other, sitting on opposite ends of the table, barely making eye contact. Guessing their talk didn't go well."

"Think we should intervene?"

I looked at Camille then at Tay and Carl. I slammed my hands on the table and shouted "Stop being a lil shit you lil shit!"

"Well that's one way to intervene." Camille muttered as she sipped more of her tea.

Tay and Carl just looked at me then at each other before getting up, muttering about some menial task they just so happened to have to do right then and there. They both went in different directions, leaving Camille and I alone at the table. I plopped back down into my seat, more aggravated than I was before.

Camille patted my shoulder as she took out a book. "Give it time."

 **Carl POV**

I was walking back from the pond when Brittany grabbed me and dragged me outside. She pushed me against the wall before folding her arms. "Talk."

"Might wanna go a bit easier on me if you want information."

"I could punch you in the balls next time."

"Jesus woman, have you no tact?"

"No, it left with my patience."

"Fine. I talked to him and it didn't go well."

"Obviously. What are you going to do about it?"

"Why do _I_ have to do something about it?"

"ONE OF YOU DUMBASSES HAS TO! Jesus. When was the last time you two even fooled around?"

I felt my face heat up. "Well…it's been 5 months since we've done anything."

"Dude…you were missing for two of those."

"Yeah…"

"Have you two even kissed since you've been back?"

"Once…in the car. It felt weird so we stopped."

"Fucking hell…GET IN THERE AND RIDE THAT BITCH INTO THE SUNSET!"

"W-what?!"

"You. Heard. ME! Get in there and ride that bitch until the wheels fall off or lay pipe like you're a fucking plumber."

"Brittany! We haven't…"

"You have got to be kidding me. So, what's with all the moaning?!"

"He umm…he's really good with his tongue." I said blushing profusely.

"Head game is A1 hmm? I knew my boy had skills. Well, that's even more reason to make up. You get a make-up blow job, maybe even sex."

"I just want him back to his old self."

"Sorry to say, that ain't happening. You can change him a bit but he won't be the same man you knew."

"Well…it's better than nothing. But he fouled up, he should come to me."

"Alright, what are you gonna do until then?"

"…wait…that's all I really can do."

 **Tay POV**

"Hey Tay, can I talk to you for a second?" Camille asked softly as she approached me.

"Is this about this morning?" I asked as I hung clothes up to dry.

"Yes. Are You and Carl okay?"

"What do you think?" I paused after hearing how harsh that sounded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way. Me and Carl are…not on the best terms."

"Go on."

"I told him that I would let him be more independent but…he wasn't allowed to go on runs anymore."

"Tay…"

"Are you going to get on my case too?!"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am! You know full well you can't keep him here! He's 18 years old, he's been living in this world for years, just like you, just like me, and he's been fine! You cannot keep treating him like a child!"

"I REFUSE TO LET HIM GET HURT AGAIN!" I quieted down a bit after realizing how loud I was. "Never. Again. I won't let him go out there and run the risk of getting taken or killed."

"Tay, he's been dutifully obeying you but you're essentially caging a wild animal that needs room to roam. Yes, this world is fraught with danger but you can't protect him forever. You can't be by his side for everything, you have to trust him and the skills you helped instill in him. Think about it." Camille patted me on the shoulder before walking back inside.

I pondered her words briefly before grunting and getting back to hanging laundry.

 **Carl POV**

"How long's it been?" Michonne whispered.

"About 3 days." Sharon said.

"Really? I thought they would have reconciled by now. It's so unlike them to be mad at each other longer than a few minutes, let alone a few days."

"I can hear you." I sat up from my new and slightly uncomfortable spot on the couch.

"We're just worried about you two, you've never been mad at each other this long before." Michonne stated flatly.

"I'm not in the wrong here so I'm not apologizing. I have nothing to apologize for."

"We're not saying that, we agree with you." Sharon added.

That was sort of major, the fact that Tay's own mother agreed with me kind of made me happy. "Really?"

They both nodded. "I wanted to talk to him about it because confining you to this place is just crazy. I know he wants to keep you safe but there are other ways to go about it."

I looked away from them for a second, thinking about what had been nagging at the back of my mind since I got back. "Carl, you okay?"

"Just tired, Michonne…Just tired."

 **Tay POV**

Four days. Four whole days this has been going on. For the fourth day in a row, I was sitting in the bed, that I normally shared, alone. Carl was probably sleeping peacefully downstairs and that bothered me. I replayed our conversation repeatedly in my head and started to see his point. I had been treating him like a child and it wasn't fair to him. I just…wanted him to be safe, that's all I could think about for two months. Not knowing if he was dead or alive took a toll on me and not being able to just rush in and get him made it worse.

That was no excuse though. I couldn't protect Carl forever, I had to trust that he would be okay. I had to have hope. "Wow, my words came back to bite me in the ass." I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "Well, time to go fix this huge mess I made."

I climbed out of bed, making sure I grabbed my gun, and made my way down stairs. I looked at where I expected Carl to be but he wasn't there. I slightly panicked, thinking the worst had happened. I looked around until I saw the door to the docks propped open. I made my way over to the door, slowly swinging it open.

My eyes fell on a beautiful sight, the guy I loved was casually sitting at the end of the docks, reading a book. To anyone else He would have looked like some punk or loner but I noticed the little things in this moment: the pale blue glow of the moonlight reflecting off the water onto his profile, the soft breeze ruffling his hair, his lean frame clad in just a t-shirt and boxers, he was the epitome of beauty.

I chuckled lightly to myself, feeling my body relax as I figured out what to say to him. I slipped my gun into my waistband before putting my hands in my pockets. "Hey, kinda cold out here isn't it?"

He didn't look up from his book as he responded. "I'm fine." I could see a chill rip through his body but he did his best to play it off.

"Alright." I smiled a bit more as I wandered closer to him, coming to rest just behind him. "It's a lovely night, the sky is clear for once."

"Mmhmm."

I knelt next to him trying to get a better look at the book he had his nose firmly planted in. "Are you…are you re-reading Night?"

"I like the book."

"I know, we spent time reading it together when we first got here. You'd nag me about reading it all day and ask me what was going to happen in the next chapter."

"Yup." He was clearly still mad at me, and I didn't blame him. I was being selfish by keeping him caged here. I tucked his hair behind his ear as it started to fall in front of his face. He didn't shy away from my touch so I would count this as progress.

"Carl."

"What?"

"Look at me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not."

"I don't owe you an explanation." The coldness in his tone made me remember the way I had spoken to mom when I leapt from the walkway.

"You're right, you don't. but I owe you something; an apology." That got his attention, I saw him quickly glance over at me before his eyes returned to the book.

"Go on."

"I'm sorry I tried to keep you confined to this place. After you were taken and seeing the state you were in when I found you, I vowed to protect you even if it cost me my life. But the one event that kind of solidified this behavior was when you had that first night terror." I saw him stiffen a bit but I continued speaking. "That night was what did it for me. It's no excuse but all I wanted was for you to be safe."

"I accept your apology." He closed the book, picked up his gun, and moved to head back inside.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To bed." He stated simply before heading inside.

"Shit…did I really fuck up that bad?" I stood facing the water for a few more minutes, pondering my next move. When my thinking became circular, I decided to go back to bed as well. I headed inside, locking the door behind me. As I made my way towards the stairs, I saw that Carl's things weren't on the couch anymore. I shifted my gaze towards the stairs, darting up them and into our room.

I saw Carl putting covers back on our bed before preparing to climb into it. "What? I said I was going to bed." He shot me a coy smile before climbing under the sheets. I felt a huge smile forming on my face before pouncing on top of him.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?"

"I'm still a bit miffed."

"Reasonably so. You still love me?"

"I never stopped, I just hated how protective you were being."

"Again, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt again." He lowered his gaze for what felt like an eternity but must have only been an instant. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

I tried to meet his eyes but he kept evading my stare. I had a hunch but I didn't know how to approach the subject, so I just asked him. "Is it because of the scar on your back?" I felt him tense up underneath me and knew that I was right on the money. "It is."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"We'll have to eventually."

"No, we won't!"

"Carl, don't let the origin of that scar define you. You got it because you resisted their attempts to break you! The scar, to me, is a mark of strength." He slipped out from under me, facing the wall. I caught sight of the slightly paler skin on his back before he covered it with the blanket. I slipped in under the covers behind him, wrapping him in my arms and kissing the nape of his neck.

"I hate it…"

"I know you do babe." I placed a tender kiss on his scar. "You're still beautiful to me. You always will be. I will kiss this scar every morning when I wake up and every night before I fall asleep just to let you know I still find you beautiful."

"It won't take away the memories."

"I know, but maybe we can replace them with new ones, maybe you'll start to wear it proudly." I felt him run his hand along my forearm where my tattoos were.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Which time? Now, or 4 days ago?"

"Both times…"

"I needed it. I'm not mad at you."

"I missed this." He pushed back into me, nestling himself even deeper into my arms.

"I did too. I haven't slept well the last few nights."

"Neither have I, usually when you saw me in the mornings, I had only been asleep for an hour or two."

"Tonight, you can sleep easier knowing that I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, promise."

"Thank you…"

I kissed the back of his head before getting comfortable. "I love you…"

"I love you too…"


	11. The World We Live In

Chapter Eleven: The World We Live In

 **Carl POV**

"We're back!"

"Hey you two, how as your run?" Tay's mother greeted us.

"Great, not much trouble aside from a couple of walkers. Tay took care of them for me."

"Find anything good?"

"Not much, just a couple of cans of God knows what, a gun, and this." Tay produced a full bottle of Kentucky Bourbon and a half full bottle of Bacardi rum. "I know momma likes her rum." He handed his mother the bottle. "Happy birthday."

She rolled her eyes at him. "It's June, but thank you." She hugged him tightly before going to put the bottle away.

I moved to go drop off our finds but Tay pulled me in the direction of the stairs. "What are you doi-" He cut me off with a passionate kiss, letting his hands drift to my hips before he pulled me flush against his body. "Where did that come from?"

"Just a preview of what's to come in a couple of hours. Once the sun sets, you're all mine." He pressed our foreheads together, smiling devilishly at me.

"You got something special planned for me tonight?"

"Maybe. You'll have to wait and see. We finally get to polish off that heating lube you have."

I kissed him happily. "Can't wait. Until then, we finish our chores, and eat."

"Alright, I'll need the energy for later." He smiled cheekily at me before kissing me once more and walking off towards the storeroom.

Brittany and Camille approached me shortly after Tay left. "Sooooo." Brittany began.

"You two got plans for tonight, do ya?" Camille asked.

I turned away from them with a small smile on my face. "Maybe."

"He's finally gonna fuck you good, isn't he?"

"Brittany!" Camille scolded.

"What? You know you were thinking it too."

"Yeah, but I wasn't going to outright ask him that!"

"It's okay, Camille. I think he's finally gonna go all the way with me."

"It's about time." Brittany chuckled as she folded her arms.

"What's it been? Almost a year?" Camille asked happily.

"Yeah…hard to believe it's been a year since I met that lunatic. This is also the same month he left me."

"Hey, don't focus on that, you're finally going to lose your virginity tonight." Camille said reassuringly.

"I know…I'm nervous though. I mean, we've been working me up to it but it's still…"

"Nerve-wracking?" Camille finished.

"Yes. I mean we've been working up to it for a while now and it's kind of long overdue but it's still my first time."

"You'll be fine." Brittany stated flatly.

"For sure, you trust him, don't you?" Camille asked.

"With all my heart."

"Then you should be fine, Tay knows what he's doing." Camille smiled as she patted my shoulder.

They turned to leave, giggling a tiny bit. "Have fun." They both called over their shoulders.

"What was that all about?" Tay asked as he came back over to me.

"Your friends are weird."

" _Our_ friends."

"Fine, _our_ friends are weird."

"That they are."

We had just put everything away after dinner and I was leading Tay to the stairs by his hand. As soon as we began to ascend the stairs when his mother called out to him. "Hey, Asante'."

"Yeah, mom?"

"I need you to help me move a few things before you call it a night?"

Tay looked at our interlaced hands then back at his mom. "Can it wait?"

"It will be quick, the quicker you help the quicker you can go to bed."

Tay sighed heavily before peering up at me with his signature puppy-dog eyes. "Carl?"

I chuckled a bit. "Go ahead."

He quickly kissed me before following his mother to wherever she needed him. I trudged up the stairs and after entering our room, I set about getting myself, as well as the room, ready for what was about to transpire. I tidied up the bed, lit a few candles, and made sure everything was perfect before turning to look at myself in the mirror.

Suddenly I felt incredibly self-conscious. I stripped off my shirts, looking myself over, I found faults in every curve, every dip, every groove in my body. I was still slim but I had more muscle tone layered on top of my skinny figure. I was average for a soon to be 19-year-old, 5.5 inches fully erect, a slightly toned butt from running and training, my abs were showing a bit, and my arms were a bit more built than they were a year ago.

I knew Tay had seen me at my most vulnerable and at my worst before but this felt different. I turned to look more at my back, mood deteriorating even more as I caught sight of the scar running across my skin. I remembered how Tay kissed it every morning when he woke up and every night before he slept, keeping the promise he made to me. I felt a surge of confidence and after shedding all my clothes, I donned his favorite backless red and black underwear. He loved seeing me in them and I knew the mere thought of me sauntering around in them drove him mad. I knew they'd stay on mefor all of 2 seconds once he saw me but I wanted to look good for him.

I put on my over shirt before trying my best to look sexy on the bed. I settled into a mildly comfortable position right before he entered our room. He had his back to me as he stripped off his shoulder holster.

"Sorry for the wait, mom had to talk to me about something while she showed me a new way of caring for the fish and crabs we caught. It honestly could have waited until tomorrow; it was so dark I could barely see anything."

"Tay."

He finally turned around and saw me, the look on his face sort of confused me. "Babe, what are you doing?"

"Trying to be sexy…"

He dropped his shirt in the corner before striding over to me. "You look uncomfortable."

"Kinda am."

He laughed softly, before gesturing for me to move my feet. He sat on the bed and gently caressed my leg. "Just be you. You don't have to try harder just because tonight is special."

I shyly pulled my knees up to my chest before smiling up at him. "That's a bit of a relief." My eyes began to roam over his body, starting at his dark brown eyes before moving to his torso, finally lingering at his tattoos. His hand continued up my shin towards my knee; he bit his lip as his gaze traveled up my body.

"You look amazing…I see you wore that underwear I like."

"Tonight is kind of a special night." I heard him kick off his boots before sliding onto the bed, he parted my legs with his hands before hovering above me. He pressed his forehead against mine as he smiled down at me. Something as simple as this had calmed my nerves from earlier, I felt much more sure and confident.

"I want you."

"You have me." He leaned down, softly pressing his lips to mine. I pulled away slightly. "Wait."

"What's wrong?"

I grabbed his phone and hit play on the playlist he'd made some time ago. "I wanted to set the mood."

His face lit up when the music started. "John Legend over the speakers? Carl Grimes you are one smooth fucker." He winked at me. "In more ways than one."

I laughed nervously. "I haven't heard this song before. I just pressed play."

"It's the perfect song for tonight."

The smooth sound of the singer's voice hung in the air as Tay kissed his way down my face, starting with my cheek, moving to my lips, then taking his time at my jaw line.

"Ah…Tay."

He got to my neck, gently sucking and biting my skin while pulling me closer to him. His hand ran from my hip, up the length of my thigh, then back again. I instinctively bent my leg, surrendering the last bit of myself to his touch. He kissed his way down my chest at an agonizingly slow pace, eventually he reached my underwear, wasting no time in yanking them off me, leaving me completely exposed. He paused, hovering above me before closing the distance between us and kissing me with more passion than I knew dwelled inside of him.

He pulled away from me, looking deeply into my eyes before smiling. "I missed this, I missed seeing you like this, I missed your raw, untamed beauty. I missed…you."

All I could focus on was the gentle music wafting out of the phone's speaker and how well it complimented the moment I was sure to treasure for the rest of my life. 'Tonight, believe that I'll be the best you've ever had.' That line was seared onto my heart, a permanent reminder that the guy currently leaving dark hickies all over my neck was, indeed, the best I'd ever had.

"Prop your legs up." He commanded in a husky tone, sending chills throughout my body.

I obeyed, feeling a bit embarrassed until I felt his tongue circling my exposed hole. "Tay," I gasped "are you sure?"

He answered by gently prodding his tongue past the tight ring of muscle before him. I felt my breath catch in my throat. I didn't hurt like the first few times which made me think I was finally getting used to the feeling. He started pushing in deeper and I couldn't help but grip the sheets tightly, I couldn't believe how great this felt. I was so reluctant the initially when Tay offered but after he showed me how to clean up properly and started going to town on me, I was kind of hooked.

He spread my cheeks a bit wider as he buried his face further into me; I could feel his tongue sliding around inside me, it was difficult to resist moaning but one sharp flick of his tongue made me lose it. I swear I felt him smirk, knowing he had the signature smug look on his face made me want to berate him but a firm slap on the ass distracted me.

"Tay!"

He pulled out of me with that smug smile spread across his face. "You know you like it."

"I-I do not!"

"That's not what you said in your sleep."

"What?!"

His hand trailed up my thigh, stopping at my crotch. He squeezed and fondled my aching hard-on as he smiled sadistically at me. "I know you love it when I slap you on the ass, Carl. I know how it gives you an instant erection. You think I don't see the face you make when I do it then leave you hanging." His grip tightened a bit and he stroked me a bit faster. "I know you love it. You love the way the stinging sensation send bolts of pleasure and pain throughout your body before they pool in your groin."

"Fuck." I groaned. I knew he was right, the first time he did it, it was just to say I'd done well during training and he sort of ran with it as a show of affection. I had never explicitly told him that I liked it so hearing that he'd figured it out was a shock.

"I also know that you wanted me to fuck you slow and deep. You don't want to be pounded into, no, no, no, you, my dear Carl, want slow and sensual. Lucky for you," he leaned in next to my ear "that is my area of expertise."

I had never been more turned on in my life. I felt my heart thudding in my chest, I felt my body heat up, every move he made was amplified to extraordinary levels. "Tay."

"Hmm?"

"Now."

"As you wish." I handed him the lube I had stashed under the pillow, watching as he squirted some onto his fingers and spreading some around my ass. "Ready?" I nodded and he slowly pushed two fingers inside of me. Surprisingly enough they went it relatively easily. "You're really turned on so it helps."

"It feels good. I wasn't sure about it the few times I tried but you make it feel so good." I felt him prod my prostate and my body involuntarily lurched forward.

"I'm adding another one." He added more lube before sliding another finger inside me. It hurt a bit but I quickly got used to the feeling. His fingers kept prodding me in all the right places as he leaned down to kiss me, at this point I was barely keeping it together. With every small movement of his nimble digits, I let out a soft moan. I arched my back higher off the bed, gently pressing into him. I was craving more. I didn't think that my first time would start off like this.

I pulled away to catch my breath. "Tay…am I ready yet?"

He pumped his fingers in and out of me a few more times before pulling them out completely. "Indeed you are. Why? Having trouble waiting?" He reached for my still throbbing erection and slowly began stroking me.

"Fuck, please just do it already."

I felt his lips hovering just above my neck, the warmth from his mouth wafted over my lightly bruised skin. "Say it. Say it. Pretty, pretty, pretty-"

"Please…" I mewled.

"God, you're just so…good." He placed a kiss on my neck before standing up and finally dropping his pants and underwear. My eyes never left that toned, caramel figure that I loved almost as much as the mind and personality that dwelled within it.

He knelt between my legs looking me over once he did. Applying a generous amount of lube to his cock, he leaned forward, doing his best to align himself with my entrance. His face twisted up slightly and I thought something was wrong but he roughly dragged me closer by hooking his hands around my hips.

"Ready?" I hesitated a bit before nodding. "Are you sure? We can stop at any time."

"I don't want to! I'm just…it's a big step. You can only do this once."

"Well…if it makes you feel better…I'm a virgin too."

"What? Babe, you never told me that."

He simply shrugged. "I was embarrassed. You told me how good I was at pleasing you so I didn't think it'd matter or ever be an issue. You never complained so…"

"I wouldn't have cared. This makes me feel a lot better. We're in the same boat."

"I'm glad you're my first…you still want to keep going, right?"

"Of course."

"Okay, I'm moving now." I felt him slowly press his hips forward, as he did, the head of his cock passed the loosened ring of muscle. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, keep going."

"I'm letting you get adjusted first."

"Okay." For a moment, he didn't move, he just stayed there peering into my eyes.

"I'm going to go further, just say when." He started to press deeper inside me, yes there was an occasional twinge of pain but the heat from lube was kicking in and distracting me. Soon he was fully sheathed inside me, I'd never felt so full before, it was a good feeling. "How do you feel?"

"Good. Really good. I think you can start moving now." He nodded before drawing his hips back. "I said you could move, not pull ou-" Suddenly he snapped his hips forward, pressing all the way inside me once again. I didn't even try to stifle the loud moan that found its way out of me.

He slowly pumped in and out of me, allowing me to adjust to the feeling as well as teasing me. I desperately wanted him to go faster but I was enjoying this way too much to rush through it. He gently flipped me onto my side, keeping my left leg straight in the air as he pumped a bit deeper. Clutching the pillow under me, I tried to stifle the moans bubbling out of me, to no avail.

"Don't be so quiet. The music will cover most of the sounds you're making. Let me hear you." He snapped his hips forward again. "Nice and loud for me." Again. He snapped his hips forward, this time hitting my sweet spot. A loud, drawn out moan passed my lips. "There we go."

The pacing of his thrusts increased a bit, as did his precision. The sensitive bundle of nerves inside me was being worked just right. I felt his fingers gently navigate their way through my hair and massage my scalp. Every move he made was amped up 1000 percent at this point, felt everything more intensely and it was more than I'd ever imagined.

"Am I being too rough?"

I shook my head vigorously. I knew he didn't want to trudge up any painful memories but I did want him to grip me a bit harder in certain places. "Grip my hips like you did before. I liked that." I felt myself being spun once more until I was on my hands and knees before his hands firmly grasped my hips.

"Keep your back arched." I did as he instructed and began reaching for my dick but I felt his hand lightly grip mine and place it in front of me. As he stretched to move my hand, he slid deeper into me. "Ah, ah, ah. No touchy." He released me and went back to steadily thrusting into me. With every thrust he grated against my prostate.

I let my face rest on the pillow beneath me as he continued pistoning in and out of me, essentially offering him my body as his personal play thing. No objections were made on my end though, the grip he had on me and the angle of his thrusts combined with the soft groans of pleasure lingering in the air made this just as enjoyable for me.

I felt a pressure building inside me and I knew I was getting closer to climaxing. "Tay…"

"I know."

"Flip me over. I want to see your face." He let me flip onto my back, lacing our fingers together once I was comfortable. I stared into his eyes as he resumed rocking back and forth. "Faster." He obeyed my request, picking up the pace a bit but it wasn't enough. "Faster, please." Sharper and quicker thrusts of his hips began to rock my body as well as the bed, I felt my orgasm building, my body was growing hotter and hotter and with one final thrust against my prostate, I felt myself cum.

The warm liquid shot all over my chest and stomach, almost reaching my neck. I felt my breathing become labored as the euphoric feeling of such an intense orgasm washed over me. Unfortunately, I had no time to recover, as my loving boyfriend decided to keep going, hitting that special bundle of nerves with every thrust. "Tay, fuck, slow down."

"I'm almost there babe, just hold on a little while longer." He sped up a bit more and I did my best to be a good boyfriend and take it but the pleasure was almost overwhelming; I was shaking, my body felt like it was electrified. "I'm gonna cum." He tried to pull out but I locked my legs around him. Before he could protest, I felt him cum inside me, moaning as he finally found his release. "I…I didn't want you to have to empty yourself out." He said through staggered breaths.

"It's okay." I reached up, running the back of my fingers along his cheek.

"How are you feeling? Did I do okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I silenced him with a brief kiss before chuckling a bit. "You were a perfect gentleman. You did great. I'm fine."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I wasn't sure about how capable I would be. Everyone picture me as a bottom but I always wanted to at least try topping."

"You did a phenomenal job. It feels a lot better than your fingers. It hurt a tiny bit but I'm glad you made sure I was okay."

"Of course. It was our first time. I gotta do it right because I don't get another shot at it."

"If I wasn't so tired I'd want to go again."

He nuzzled my neck, tickling me a bit. "I'm still feeling frisky. We could take a breather and let you recharge before round two." He purred seductively.

"Maybe after a bit of rest but as of right now, I'm spent."

"Hey…umm…Carl?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to make a mess of the bed so could you…"

I looked down and realized Tay was still balls deep inside me. I kind of guessed what he wanted me to do so I locked my legs around his waist, letting him hoist me up until he could put a towel down. He placed me on top of it before pulling out. He was still hard as a rock and ready for more, I, on the other hand, was still recovering.

He unlocked his phone and stopped the music from playing before sliding in next to me. "I love you."

"Are you saying that just because you finally got to sleep with me?" I joked.

"Totally." We laughed a bit before settling into an easy silence. A thought that I hadn't had in a while crossed my mind, immediately flipping my jovial mood on its head. "What's wrong?"

"I meant to ask you something after…after your father died."

I saw his expression darken a bit. "What is it?"

"How are you feeling? We didn't really talk about it."

I turned to face him and saw that his blank, expressionless face had a single tear streaming down it. "Nothing to talk about. He's dead. It happens."

"Babe. Talk to me."

"Like I said, there's nothing to talk about. He did something right when he died but that's it."

"I know he wasn't the best father in the world but he was trying from the time we got here, up until he died."

"He's dead now. It doesn't matter." He stared up at the ceiling, tears still silently streaming down his face. "He was a shitty father who tried to make up for lost time and did a shitty job at it."

"Tay…"

"I mean he broke me physically and emotionally then he tried to be all buddy-buddy with me after I saved mom. He disowned my brother when he came out, he put down the framework for the trust issues I have, he broke me so many times, then he up and dies on me. H-he just goes off and dies on me right as we were…"

"As you were what?"

"Forget it!" He swung his legs over the side of the bed and tried to get up but I grabbed his wrist. I felt him shaking as his fist clenched tighter.

"Keep. Talking."

"I WAS STARTING TO FORGIVE HIM AND HE JUST UP AND DIES ON ME! EVEN IN DEATH HE MANAGES TO DISAPPOINT ME ONCE AGAIN!"

An uneasy tension hung in the air; I waited for him to speak again but he just slowly sat down on the bed. He sniffled every so often but didn't say a word for a while. I moved to wrap him in a hug, resting my chin on his shoulder. He eventually settled down enough to speak again, his last few tears dropping onto his hands.

"I was just starting to trust him again."

"I know…and I'm sorry that things ended the way they did for him. However, he did die saving us. He died doing something that was selfless, it doesn't overshadow his past actions but it says a lot about him in the end. He did love you, he cared for you. I am so proud that you began to forgive him and that you decided to talk to me about it."

"He just…died on me, Carl. We were heading down the right path and now he's just gone."

"I know…try and remember some of the good things that you shared, I know there weren't many but there were some." Silence overtook the room once again but I knew we weren't done with this topic just yet. "Tay."

"Hmm?"

"I never told you about my dad…"

"I know…I didn't want to push the issue. It seemed like it was a very sensitive subject so I never brought it up."

"I wanted to tell you ages ago but we were already dealing with so much that it would have been disastrous."

"Are you going to tell me now?"

"If you'll listen."

He turned to face me, clasping one of my hands in his. "Of course I will." We got into comfortable positions before I began to steady myself and collect my thoughts.

"Okay…you know that you found me alone, I wasn't with anyone or anything." He nodded silently. "I hadn't been alone that long, it had been about a month. After the prison fell…my dad and I got as far as we could before his body started to give out. We barely had any supplies because in the rush to escape, we didn't have time to grab our bags."

"Go on."

"We found a house and no sooner did we secure it did my dad pass out on the sofa. He was like that for days. He didn't move, eat, or drink. Naturally I was worried about him and I did my best to care for him but I had to do so with what I found nearby, which wasn't much." I paused, taking in a shaky breath.

"What happened next?"

"Well…after almost two weeks of no movement he finally moved…but it wasn't dad anymore. He had turned."

"Carl…I'm sorry…"

"At first I couldn't accept what had happened. I refused to believe that this had happened again. I shoved him away, yelling at him to stop messing around but after he almost knocked me to the ground, I knew I had to kill him…I managed to grab his revolver and put a bullet in his head. I…I buried him in the backyard of the house and I left after that. I couldn't stay there."

I felt his hand tighten around mine, it offered me a bit of comfort. "I'm so sorry…"

"After about a week of walking, no sleep and barely any food, my mind started playing tricks on me; I was starting to see things and I felt like all encounters with walkers was too strenuous so I avoided conflict. One day, I was trudging through the forest and saw a baby carrier, like the one we put my little sister in. I thought it was just coincidence and pressed forward…after less than 200 yards I saw a walker eating something."

"No…Carl, please don't tell me…" I simply shut my eyes, confirming his fears. My sister, Judith, was saved by someone from the prison…but she didn't make it. I felt him pull me into a hug as tears began streaming down my face.

"She wasn't even a year old, she was born into this god forsaken world and didn't even get a shot to live her life! My dad was a good man, he was hard-ass sometimes but I know he loved his family. He did all he could to protect us…He taught me everything I know…and I had to kill him. I don't have any family left, I'm all alone."

"LIAR!" Tay shouted. He climbed on top of me, gripping my shoulders while he stared down at me. "You have me, my mom, Brittany, Camille, and Michonne. We consider you family; we love you so much and we are here for you. You are not alone and you never will be. Don't…don't disregard us like that…it hurts. I fight every single day for you guys, not for myself. I have accepted the fact that I could be killed at any second but if I died protecting you guys, I could die happily."

"But-"

"No 'buts' damn it! You. Have. Us. You have me…That's all that matters." His intense stare began to bore into my soul, breaking down all my walls in an instant and seeing the real me, the Carl that only my mom and dad ever saw. "Okay? Please…just trust us…trust me."

I saw tears welling up in his eyes and the gravity of how my words made him feel didn't set in until I felt one of his tears land on my cheek. Remorse pooled in my gut, I didn't mean to make him feel like I didn't have his support. I shifted my gaze away from him, feeling even worse than when I began speaking.

"Look at me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Look at me, Carl."

I hesitantly looked up at him and as my eyes refocused on him, I saw him smiling. "Why are you smiling?"

"Because you make me so happy. I know that there's nothing I can do to take away the pain of losing your biological family but you have us, you have your life, and you promised to keep living and fighting for them; you promised to keep their legacy alive. Do just that, and let the people in your life help you." He pressed his forehead to mine, letting his gaze shift for a second. "Okay?"

I nodded hurriedly before wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry…I didn't-"

I felt him shake his head next to mine. "Don't apologize for how you felt or what you said. It's okay." We laid there for a while, just holding each other.

"Tay…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The next morning, rays from the sun paired with the sound of crashing waves eased me out of my uneasy slumber. I slowly sat up, looking over at the still sleeping body draped over me. We fell asleep together after our talk and I felt more tired than ever. I rubbed my eyes free of sleep before feeling the lightly dried areas on my cheeks, indicative of a crying fit. Memories of what was said flooded back to me with vivid clarity and I almost felt like crying again.

Once again my gaze drifted towards the man sleeping next to me but this time I recalled the words he engrained onto my heart. I heard a knock on our door before it slowly opened. "You two decent?" Brittany asked.

I gave Tay and myself a once over, making sure nothing explicit was visible. "Yeah, what's up?"

She slid into the room and closed the door behind her. "Wow, it smells like sex in here." I blushed lightly before looking down at Tay, then back up at Brittany. Her lips curled into a cat like smile. "Ohhhhhh. Was it good?"

"It was amazing."

"We'll talk later about that; I want you to spill all the tea. Anyway, his mom needs us to go on a run."

"Who is 'us' exactly?"

"Me, you, Camille, and sleeping beauty over there."

"Must be a big job if she's asking four people to go."

"We're going to be gone for a couple of days, so gear up for a decently long trip. Camille's already in the armory stocking up and I was going to head over to the pantry to grab some food."

"Alright, we'll be down in a bit." Brittany nodded before exiting the room. I gently kissed Tay's temple before shaking him awake. "Rise and shine. We got work to do."

He groaned before latching onto me, pulling me down onto the bed. "The only thing I have to _do_ is you."

"As much as I'd love to go for another round, we've got to get a move on."

His grip tightened a bit. "A quickie?"

"Babe."

"I'll go down on you."

"Babe."

"You know you want to."

"Of course I do, but we gotta get moving. This is a two-day expedition."

He lightly pushed me down onto the bed, looming over me with his hair dangling down beside his face. The rays of the sun reflected off his caramel skin giving him a gentle glow. I pulled him down by the back of his head, smiling into the tender kiss we shared. I felt him cup my cheek and gently trail his fingers through my hair.

His free hand slowly trailed down my body, causing me gasp a bit. He moved his lips to my neck, beginning to work on leaving a hickey. I moaned his name, trying to tell him that we needed to get ready but it came out less stern than I wanted. He simply chuckled and continued caressing my lower body. I felt him pressing his dick against my thigh, I really did want to fool around but if this run we were going on would take four people and two days it must be important.

"Tay…please."

"I like it when you beg."

"No it's, ah fuck, not that. We-we need to get dressed."

"Let me just finish giving you this hickey."

"Fuck." He was making sure this one stood out more than the others from last night. "Okay. Make it qui- shit." He was giving this one his all. After what seemed like a bliss filled eternity, he pulled away.

"Man that one is dark. It was a struggled to find a clear spot on your neck." He pecked me on the lips a few times before rolling off me. Looking back at me over his shoulder, I saw his signature smile permeating the warm rays forming a thin wall between us. "You okay?"

I slowly got up, shakily making my way over to the drawers our clothes were in. "Yeah, just…you do great things with that mouth of yours, babe." I slipped on some underwear and a pair of jeans before grabbing a shirt. Tay walked up behind me and placed a gentle kiss on my back. I smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing.

He proceeded to get dressed as well, throwing on underwear, his black cargo pants, black combat boots, the shirt he was wearing when we first met, he finished off his ensemble by slipping on thigh and shoulder holsters. I saw that his shoulder holster had a knife sheath on the left side.

"Is that the new one?" I asked while putting on my gun belt.

"Indeed it is."

I turned to face him, adjusting the straps so it sat more comfortably on his shoulders. "Looks good on you."

"Thanks." He said smiling at me. He picked up my hat from its spot on the desk, gently placing it atop my head. "Shall we go?"

"We shall."

We holstered our weapons before heading downstairs. Camille was standing, clipboard in hand, beside a table littered with guns. Brittany was seated next to Michonne eating breakfast. Tay's mom was preparing what we assumed were plates of food for us.

"Good morning you two, I'm sure Brittany told you that you needed to go on a run for a couple of days." She handed us our plates before continuing. "While I was out with Michonne a couple of days ago, we noticed some shady people in the area. We kept an eye on them for a while but eventually decided we should head back here before getting caught. So, what I need you four to do is see if you can find them and tail them, see if they're hostiles or potential allies."

"Understood. But why is this trip going to take two days?" Tay asked her.

"I'm giving you all time to find them, track them, and potentially make a deal with them. If, after two days you've failed to find them, have lost them and failed to find them again, or failed to make a deal, you return here and we go from there." She replied.

"Got it. Guys, we move out in 30, make sure everything is packed."

Tay got up, clearly finished with his food, and headed towards the table Camille was standing at. I leaned over towards Brittany, a smile plastered on my face. "I love it when he takes charge like that."

She choked on her food a little bit before looking over at me. "Carl!" I simply winked at her before setting down my plate and going to load up the car.

 **Tay POV**

"This is the spot, your mom marked it off on the map for us." Carl said, pointing at the map in his lap.

I pulled the car into a secluded spot before killing the engine. "Alright, we're on foot from here. We all know our roles; we all have our weapons. We stay quiet, stay hidden, and most of all, we stay safe."

Carl nodded affirmatively. "Understood."

"Roger that." Camille said.

"Yeah, yeah." Brittany groaned out as she exited the car.

"Brittany, you take care of her."

"Always."

"Camille, stay hidden. We're counting on your skills as a sniper."

"But no, pressure." Carl added.

"You guys can count on me." The pair headed off towards the trees, scouting potential spots to hide.

"Carl, you got me?"

He leaned in and pecked me cheek. "I got you."

"Let's get moving then."

We headed through the trees towards the tree line. We emerged from the forest onto a large grassy plain. We could see for miles from where we were standing; the plain we were on slopped into a valley with a dirt road running through it. There was a pair of buildings along the road but that was it.

"Wow. It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is." We cast our gaze out onto the horizon, taking in the sights and enjoying the peace that rarely seemed to find us.

"Hey, what's that?" Carl gestured towards a hooded figure clad in red and black bounding out of the trees, followed by at least eight walkers. "They're in trouble."

"Let's go." We slid down the hill before sprinting towards the figure. They drew a pair of hatchets and began dealing out lethal blows to the walkers. By the time we got to them they had just finished the last one.

"Looks like you didn't need our help." Carl said. The figure seemed shocked by our presence and whipped one of its hatchets at Carl. I intercepted it, pushing Carl out of the way. "Chill out, we were just coming to help!"

Our new friend didn't seem like he wanted to chat or thank us because they charged at me, trying to cleave through me. Our blades clashed as I blocked their strike but no sooner did I block their hatchet did I catch an elbow to the face. I stumbled but my resolve didn't weaken. We went blow for blow for a minute or two, I just barely managed to keep up with them but I managed to disarm them. I went in for another strike but they disarmed me before I could land a hit.

We squared up for a second before they threw a lightning fast strike towards my head, I blocked it but they tried to grab my blocking hand and open my guard. I saw through their strategy and tossed them over my shoulder. They rolled to their feet before sinking into an all too familiar stance.

"Monkey style…Wait…are you…Roj?" As soon as I said the name, a couple of bullets came whizzing towards the hooded figure. They got to their feet and did six backhand springs in a row, avoiding what I assumed to be Camille's gunfire. At that point there was no question, the figure I just went toe to toe with was my friend from college.

All the flips he did tired him out and made him dizzy, I could tell once he stopped moving. I knew that if he didn't move again, Camille would kill him, so I threw myself between her line of sight and Roj. "Tay what the hell are you doing?!" Carl yelled, drawing his gun.

"I KNOW HIM!"

"You…you what?"

"Remember the friends from college I told you about? He's one of them." I turned my attention to my old friend, removing his hood. "Roj, you old bastard, you have asthma, why the fuck are you running through the woods and doing so many flips in a row?! Do you want to die?"

He looked up at me, trying to catch his breath. "I-I wouldn't have had to-to do so many flips if your sniper hadn't tried to kill me."

"YOU TRIED TO KILL US FIRST!" Carl shouted.

"Save it. He's being sarcastic." I walked behind Roj and dug through the bag on his back, finding an inhaler in one of the pouches. "Here." I handed him the small pump, watching has he took a couple of hits from it. "Better?"

"Much. Thank you."

He got to his feet, still a bit wobbly but as soon as he regained his balance, I hugged him almost as tight as I hugged my mom when I found her again. "It's good to see you again."

He hugged me back just as hard. "Same goes for you, glad to see you aren't dead."

"Come one, you didn't think I'd die that easily did you?"

"I figured you'd get lured in by some cute guy and get killed."

"Well, cute guy? Yes. Killed? Nah."

Roj pointed at Carl. "This him?"

"Yup." I sauntered over to Carl, lifting him up and spinning him around a couple of times before setting him down. "Carl, meet Roj, a guy I basically consider a brother. Roj, this is Carl, the love of my life."

The two of them shook hands. "Sorry for trying to kill you."

"It's fine, I guess. One of my friends tried to kill Tay when they first met too."

"Did you win?"

"Damn right I did…well okay Carl stopped the fight but I was about to break her sword when he did."

"So you won."

"Yup."

"That's my baby."

"Uh, what?" Carl asked, sounding a bit jealous.

"It's just how he talks to his gay friends, don't think anything of it." Carl didn't look any more convinced but he let it go. "Speaking of which, are the other fuck-wits still alive?"

"As a matter of fact, they are. Robert, Zach, Sam, Amy, Jake, everyone is still in one piece."

"That's a huge relief. Why are you guys in California?"

"Sam and Robert wanted to go someplace warm."

"Is that literally the only reason?"

"Pretty much."

"Jesus Christ…well I guess it worked out for the better."

I heard footsteps and upon looking over my shoulder, I saw Brittany and Camille running towards us. "Hey, Camille, Brittany, this is my friend from college, Roj."

"Hello; which one of you two lovely ladies tried to blow my head off?"

"That would be me." Camille said shyly.

"Don't be nervous, sweetheart. Your aim is incredible. If I hadn't curved my path, you would have gotten me."

"She learned from me. She's damn near surpassed me."

"Ah, stop it."

"Come on, you've saved our asses many times before with shots I'm not sure I could have made."

"Can you still ricochet bullets off metal surfaces?" Roj asked.

"You can do that?!" Camille, Carl, and Brittany asked in unison.

I nervously scratched the back of my head. "This fucker? Oh yeah! Before we got separated, he was an expert marksman. He accidently killed one of those things by ricocheting a bullet off a sheet of metal. From that moment on, he tried to get it down to a science and he eventually did."

"Why didn't you tell us?!" The three of them shouted once again.

"It…never came up and I never needed to use it." I turned towards Roj, getting on with our objective. "Do you recall being tailed by a swordswoman and my mom a couple of days ago?"

"Indeed I do; however, I didn't know the other person was your mother."

"Well we were sent here to see if we could make a couple allies. Looks like we can."

"No way."

"What?"

"We're not siding with you."

"Roj." I shot him a look he knew all too well. A bit of tension hung in the air before he cracked a slight smile.

"I'm fucking with you. Come on, we can go see the others."

"Cheeky cunt."

"Shut up, you know you love me."

"It's a terrible affliction."

"Worse than this zombie virus?"

"Way worse."

We led Roj back to the car, offering to drive him to where the others were. He sat in the front passenger seat to better direct me. I saw Carl was a bit miffed that he had to ride in the back so I pulled him forward by his shirt and kissed him a few times in an attempt to quell any anger he was feeling. When I pulled away I smiled at him and he smiled back before pecking me on the lips once more.

We drove along the dirt road that led through field for a few miles before we came to a locked gate. Roj hopped out of the car and undid the lock before climbing onto the roof of the car. I asked what the fuck he was doing and he assured me that if he was visible, no one would try to kill us. He had a valid point, if some mysterious car rolled up to the docks we'd do the same.

As we drove up the shaded path, we came up to a clearing filled with an assortment of abandoned looking RVs. I saw Zach and Robert patrolling the border and hung my head out of the window, a huge smile on my face.

"DID YOU MISS ME, YOU DIRTY SONS OF BITCHES?"

"Is that…" Zach said squinting in our direction.

"Look who I bumped into!" Roj called out happily.

"It is." Robert said, a bit stunned.

"Tay!" Zach rushed towards us with Robert close behind.

"Jesus Christ, he's back from the dead."

As soon as I hopped out of the car I was tackled to the ground by my old friends. "It's good to see you guys too." I managed to groan out under their combined weight.

After being helped to my feel, I introduced everyone to Zach and Robert and told them why we were here. They led us inside and, once again, I was bombarded with hugs. Everyone from school was here, safe and sound. Sam, Amy, Jake, Mar, both C-Dawg and K-Dawg. I started crying because I was so happy to see everyone. I looked over at Carl who was off by himself, kicking rocks and sticks across the grass.

"I'll be right back." I told Sam and Amy, who were doing their best to make up for lost 'let's annoy Tay' time. "Hey, Mr. Short-Pale-and-Brooding, what's the matter?"

"Everyone you were worried about…is still here. All your friends from college are here with you and…"

"What's all the commotion?" I heard an unfamiliar voice say. Carl and I turned to see three new people walking out from behind a couple of trailers. One man had medium length brown, shaggy hair, the other man had dark hair and was of Asian descent, and the woman, who was holding his hand, had shoulder length brown hair.

"I don't recognize them."

"Glenn? Maggie? Daryl?" Carl said slowly. He caught the attention of the three people he named before bolting towards them. I couldn't help but smile, those three must have been some of the people at the prison with him and Michonne. The three people he'd just named engulfed him in a hug, shortly after I heard sobbing.

"Carl! My God, we're so happy to see you!" Maggie squealed.

"It's been ages, half pint." Daryl stated flatly while smiling.

"We missed you." Glenn said simply.

"I didn't know if you guys made it…"

"Well we did. So did Sasha, Carol, and Beth."

"Michonne's still alive too."

"What about Rick and Judith?" Glenn questioned.

Carl went silent, refusing to meet Glenn's gaze. Glenn simply nodded, patting Carl's back. "I'm sorry." Maggie said solemnly.

"Me too."

"It's…it's okay." Carl looked over at me, Brittany, and Camille. "I still have family." He looked back at them. "New and old."

"Alright, enough sentimentality, we have business to discuss." I interjected.

We all adjourned to one of the larger RVs to discuss things that would go on between our two groups. We agreed that we'd share everything we had and we'd discuss any and all issues we had with each other as well as provide support in times of trouble. As the talk drew to a close, and everyone was about to get up, Zach brought up a more pressing issue.

"We need to discuss…them." I looked around at the people in the room, seeing that several faces had dread written all over them.

"Who exactly are 'them'?"

"The Fallen Angels."

"What?!" Carl and I yelled.

"There's more of them?" Camille questioned incredulously.

"Fuck." Brittany groaned.

"You guys…have faced off with them before?" Robert asked.

"We have. We took down Ronan and everyone in their little compound." I said darkly.

"Wait, you took out Ronan?!" Zach asked, clearly flabbergasted at my statement.

"Yeah, put one between his eyes myself."

"How did you manage to take him down?! We've been after him for ages." Sam questioned.

"Simple." I pulled Carl closer to me. "When you're fighting for someone you love, all bets are off. Michonne, Brittany, my mom, my father, and Camille raided that place after 2 months of surveillance. Camille and my mom stayed outside, covering us, my father set explosives to cause a panic, and me, Brittany, and Michonne were on the inside."

"He cleared two floors by himself." Brittany added.

"Shit…" Zach said quietly.

"But you said there are more?" Camille interjected.

"Unfortunately, there are. You cut off the main head of a hydra. But there are still more."

"How many?" I asked.

"At least four smaller outposts and one compound." Zach answered.

"Fuck."

"It gets worse. There's…another Ronan." Robert added.

"Are you shitting me?" I asked. I couldn't believe that there was another Ronan roaming about this world.

Zach looked up at me, confirming my fears. "They run the other compound and oversee the outposts but we have no clue what they look like."

Carl looked up at me. "We need to tell your mom."

"We do. Who wants to come back with us and explain the situation?"

"Roj and I will go." Zach volunteered.

"Okay. You guys got a ride?" I asked as we stepped outside.

"I still have my Subaru." Zach smirked, jingling his keys.

"I should have known you'd have kept her. Let's get going." We loaded into our respective vehicles before driving towards the docks. Carl sat beside me, holding my hand with a scowl plastered on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked not taking my eyes off the road.

"I'm a tad hungry." Brittany answered.

"Not you, you heathen. Carl, what's the matter?"

"Nothing." He said looking out of the window.

"Is this about Roj riding shotgun?"

"No clue what you're talking about."

"Carl, stop being a baby. Roj is like my brother, the only thing between us are a few scars from trading blows and laughs from doing stupid shit in gymnastics."

He let go of my hand and leaned away from me. "Whatever."

I groaned before pressing down on the accelerator. If Carl wanted to be pissy about Roj and I being all buddy-buddy, I was going to let him. There was nothing going on between us, hell Roj was in a relationship already, he is also straight. I glanced over at him, catching sight of his vibrant blue eyes in the light of the afternoon sun. Sighing to myself, I vowed to reassure him later, but right now, we had business to take care of.

We pulled up to the docks, jumping out of the cars and striding through the entrance. "Mom, we have good news and terrible news."

"I'll take the…is that…ROJ!" My mom pulled Roj into a bone crushing hug. "It's great to see you again."

"Same to you."

"Hello, I'm Zach."

"I've heard a lot about you. Nice to finally meet you."

"Well mom, that was the good news. The bad news…there are more Fallen Angels." Her face darkened. "There's another Ronan and at least 4 outposts and another compound."

"Fuck." That was the first time in the time since I had found my mom that I had heard her curse. "We have much to discuss."

Later that evening, I was lying in bed, waiting for Carl to join me. He was sitting at the desk in his underwear, reading a book. "Hey, gloomy Gus, come here."

"I'm reading." He retorted in a less than favorable tone.

"The book isn't going anywhere. Come here."

"I'm fine. I'll come to bed in a bit." He turned to the next page, still not looking up at me.

"Carl Grimes." I never used his last name unless I was serious.

"What?"

I shifted so I was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you being so difficult?"

"In regards to?"

"You've been acting funny since Roj rode shotgun."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie to me, I felt it when we kissed. Are you jealous of him?"

"No." Carl said sternly.

"Carl."

"OKAY, I'M JEALOUS. HAPPY?" He yelled, slamming the book closed. "You and that guy are too close for my liking."

"You have nothing to be jealous of. Roj just usually took shotgun when we went out. I should have corrected him but time was of the essence."

"You still should have said something." He muttered.

"Babe, Roj is like a brother to me. A _straight_ brother who has a _girlfriend_."

"A…a what?" I simply nodded. "Oh."

"Get over here you overly dramatic dummy." Carl uncrossed his arms, slowly walking over to where I was seated on the bed. He stood between my legs and allowed me to take his hands. "You have nothing to worry about. I love you, and only you."

He looked away but still smiled shyly. "I love you too. I'm sorry for being so jealous." He leaned forward, pressing me into the bed.

"I kinda like you between my legs." I said slyly.

"I like being between your legs." I scooted back on the bed, allowing him to find a comfortable spot. "So…about this morning."

"Wanna pick up where we left off?"

"With a bit of role reversal."

I placed my head on the pillows, keeping my legs spread so Carl could work his magic. I loved it when he was confident and flaunted his sex appeal. As much as I liked being in control, I like it when he was firm with me. He roughly gripped my hips before letting his hands roam up the sides of my body, eventually letting them come to rest when he laced our fingers together. He placed a few tender kisses on my lips before letting them trail over to my neck. I smirked lightly, knowing what was coming next.

He bit down on my neck, eliciting a drawn out, pleasure filled groan. My body arched up into his but he pushed me flat against the mattress. I chuckled lightly. "Gonna be rough with me, cowboy?"

"I was thinking of revving my Harley."

"Well you've already started the engine. Where you planning on drivin' me, Puddin'?"

"Crazy." He whispered in a husky tone.

I felt more turned on feeling that seductive tone fill my ears. "Mmm good start."

He went back to working on leaving love bites on my neck and shoulder while one hand roamed from my exposed upper body to my thighs. Carl knew that I loved having my thighs lightly gripped. His hand found its way inside my underwear and started to grope my slightly throbbing dick.

He slowly stroked me underneath the restrictive fabric while still leaving love bites all around my neck. "Christ, you're such a tease. Please just…get on with it."

He began kissing his way down my body before lifting my hips and removing my underwear. No sooner than the fabric had hit the floor was Carl engulfing my dick in his mouth. Threading my fingers through his hair, I controlled his pacing until I felt him gently push my had away. I was prepared to apologize but as I looked down, I saw a mischievous gleam in his eye and knew he could go without my intervention.

After an agonizingly slow, but extremely pleasurable, bout of foreplay and preparation, Carl positioned himself between my legs, ready to press inside me. "You ready?" I nodded before feeling him push inside me. "Jesus Christ."

"Nice and tight, just like you like it."

"I'm not going to last long if you keep this up."

"Come on Puddin'. We've barely gotten started. At least do a lap around the block." I chuckled lightly, clenching even tighter around him.

"Fuck." He drawled out. "You're doing this on purpose."

"No clue what you're talking about." I clenched and unclenched a few times, reveling in the faces he was making. He glared up at me before smirking. One firm snap of his hips almost put me in my place. Almost. "Finally getting some of your fight back?"

His hand glided up towards my neck, grasping it a bit firmly. "Like this right?"

"Just like that." I told Carl that I liked having light pressure on my throat but didn't like to be choked so, after a bit of trial and error, we found a good balance. He was still timid to do so but I reassured him that I'd tell him if he was pressing down too hard.

He began slowly thrusting in and out of me. Carl wasn't hung like a stallion by any means, he was about 5 inches or so, however, it isn't the size of the ship that matters, it's the motion of the ocean. And Carl's motions were just right; he knew how to angle himself properly and knew how to pace his thrusts.

He was more impatient than me though; he gave me enough time to adjust to him moving then quickened his pace. It was different but still put me in the same blissful trance that usually accompanied our love making.

"Tay…"

"Go ahead." I knew he was getting closer with each thrust.

"Fuck." He pulled out of me and a second later, he was shooting hot cum all over my chest. A couple spurts hit my lip before he finished. He smirked down at me, still trying to catch his breath. "You got something on your lip."

I slowly licked my lips, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. I even dipped my finger in the cum pooled on my stomach and slowly licked it off. "Did I get it?"

"I…uh…umm…"

"Such an adorable dork." Grasping the back of his neck, I pulled him forward, pressing our lips together and letting the simple act devolve into making out. He slowly rubbed my thighs, sides, and eventually stopped at my cheek. He pulled away, smiling at me. "Your hands are magic."

He climbed off me to get a towel, tossing it to me once he found it. "H-how was I?"

"Hmm? You were amazing." I chuckled, cleaning off the rest of my stomach. He looked self-conscious, still unsure of his performance in bed after all this time. "Hey." I turned his chin so he was looking at me. "You do amazing in bed. Don't look so worried. If I hated something you were doing, I'd tell you."

He looked down shyly. "Thanks."

"Oh, and Carl."

"Yeah?" I flipped him onto his back, looming mere inches over him. "Happy birthday."

Almost three months had passed since we found the others. Since that day we had been planning to take out the rest of the Fallen Angels, training our asses off, and collecting supplies for this large-scale operation. We decided to stay our own separate entities due to the fact that there wasn't enough room for everyone one place or the other but when we did see each other, which was quite often, our time was spent preparing. It was rough at first; I would have liked to have had some fun with my friends after such a long time apart but we had a huge task looming on the horizon.

Roj, Zach, Robert, and myself put everyone through the ringer when it came to hand to hand combat, no one got any special treatment. We did avoid harming our trainees too severely because we didn't have time for drawn out recoveries. Carl pushed himself harder than I had ever seen, even going so far as to having the four of us take him on all at once. Of course, the four of us had rehearsed hand to hand strategies developed early on, from an assortment of dicking around and actual training, so it was more than unfair. We overwhelmed Carl right out of the gate but he held his own until Roj and I synchronized our strikes; I distracted Carl with a leg sweep right at Roj aimed a roundhouse at his opposite side. He dodged my sweep but Roj's speed overwhelmed him.

We practiced disarms, joint locks, and breaking techniques, as well as taking a bit of time to develop coordinated attacks. We made sure everyone could fight with anything they were given and could escape if captured. To say the training was grueling is an understatement but after almost three whole months of day in day out practicing, dry runs, and scouting, we felt ready to strike.

Our first missions were to split up and take out the outposts under the cover of night. We split into four teams comprised of a sniper and a guard for them, two people for close quarters combat, and at least three shooters. For my team, I was in command of my usual squad with the addition of our tank, Andrew, our ball of lethal sunshine, Amy, and our brutal backwoods boy, Daryl. Camille and Brittany were covering us from the tree line, I took point, armed with an AKMSU, my Px4, two knives and my bat, Carl was behind me, followed by Andrew, Amy, and Daryl.

We had Camille drop the guards by the door before hiding the bodies and proceeding inside. We all split into pairs, Me with Carl, Amy and Andrew, but since we ran out of people Daryl opted to be the lone wolf. Carl assured me he'd be fine so I let him go. We went about silently executing all the inhabitants and scavenging the supplies they had stashed there. I'd never seen so many guns in one place in my life.

I radioed everyone else to see how they were doing. Zach and Michonne were already done and loading up scavenged supplies, Roj's team however, was having issues. We heard gunfire and saw an explosion from where we were. I radioed everyone at their respective outposts to drop what they were doing and make their way over to Roj and his team. My team loaded into our cars and sped over towards the direction of the explosion.

Upon arrival, we saw unfamiliar vehicles outside. I reasoned that some Fallen Angels must have showed up before Roj's team could finish. We cautiously entered the building, taking out a few hostiles before coming up to the main hallway. Roj and a few others were pinned down and could barely return fire. My team opened fire, eliminating most of our adversaries. Zach radioed us saying that his team was stationed out front and Michonne radioed saying that her team looped around the rear and were cutting off any escape routes.

Not long after we had all arrived, quiet descended upon the building once again. We finished up our operation and headed out to a safe spot, once there I had to play medic because Zach, Roj, and Glenn had gotten hurt. Roj had a few lacerations from being close to the explosion, Glenn was grazed by a few bullets protecting Maggie, Zach had to go toe to toe with a couple of people and got roughed up a bit.

A few of us were banged up…but phase one was complete. In a couple of days, we'd move on to phase two.

Four days after our assault on the outposts, Brittany, Camille, Roj, Zach, Carl, and myself were making our way up a hill to get to a vantage point that overlooked the second Fallen Angels compound. As we reached the top of the hill, I saw Brittany looking down her sights.

"See something?"

"Walker."

"Just one?" She fired a single shot, the sound dampened by her suppressor.

"Nope." We kept walking, eventually passing the body of the walker Brittany took out.

She stopped, looking down at the rotting corpse. I casually strode over to her, peering down at the body. "You know them?"

The blank expression she wore told me all I needed to know. "I used to." She said simply before trudging on. I took one last look down at the body before going to catch up with the others.

We took up a spot that had the best view of the compound, a large string of warehouses. "See anything?" Carl asked me as I peered through my binoculars.

"Gates haven't opened yet." I looked over at Zach. "You said that they were supposed to be headed out at about this time, right?"

"Like clockwork. That's the thing with a schedule, it makes your actions predictable."

"Look, someone's on the balcony of that warehouse." Camille noted.

We all turned our gaze towards the balcony where a pair of people, assumed to be guards, stood. People began to congregate in the courtyard, looking towards the balcony. Not long after a woman, standing about 5'7, with long dark hair, a black leather jacket, sunglasses, dark blue jeans, ankle boots, and a revolver on her hip, sauntered onto the platform.

"No. Fucking. Way."

"What's the matter, babe?"

"I know her."

"You what?!" Everyone harmonized.

"She…she was the one who ended up dating the guy I liked. The same guy I let live when I went to rescue Carl…"

"Babe…is that really-"

"Almira." All the memories we shared came flooding back to me. I failed to notice my grip tightening around the binoculars to the point where the plastic began cracking. I felt a hand on mine, bidding me to try and calm down.

"Who's Almira?" Roj and Zach asked in unison.

"Someone I used to call a friend. But right now, she's our target." I took my rifle off my back, trying to line up a shot. She was between her two guards and I knew that If I put my shot through her first guard's neck, I would tag her in the head but just as I sighted my point of impact she moved behind the wall. "Fuck. Can't get a shot. Brittany?"

"Neither can I. Can you make the bullet rebound off something?"

"It'd fall short."

"Shit." I stood up, trying to get a better view but as I did, the gates opened and a small fleet of vehicles rolled out and down the road.

"Well, things just got more difficult." Roj remarked.

We all just stood there, watching as about 10 vehicles poured through the gates before vanishing into the distance. I hadn't taken my sights off Almira just in case she made herself a target but not long after the last vehicle disappeared, she vanished back inside.

Carl looked over at me. "Can you bring yourself to kill her?"

I hesitated slightly before feeling my resolve strengthen. "Yes."

"So what do we do?" Zach asked. I looked around at the people I trusted more than anything else in the world before squeezing Carl's hand.

"We fight."


End file.
